Dealing with Unrequited Love: When You Care More than You Should

If you’ve ever been in love with someone who doesn't feel the same way about you, you know the immense heartache it can cause. In such a situation, you can feel like you are on an emotional roller coaster and struggling to find peace in the moment. Even if they are unaware of your feelings, if their lack of response isn’t reciprocated over time, it can lead to a feeling of helplessness and a type of ceaseless grief that may seem intolerable.

In such cases, you might start to feel like you’re not in control of your own life, as if you are drowning in a tide of depressing thoughts. It's often difficult to separate your logic from your emotion, due to the wide range of confusing messages that such situations can bring. It can take every bit of courage you've got yet also consume every ounce of energy to take back the reins and find solace.

The most important thing to remember is that there are no hard and fast rules when it comes to love. So, how do you break free from the undertow of pining for someone or something that doesn't seem to be an actual possibility? The reality is that unrequited love is a complex occurrence and can only be managed one vulnerability at a time. Though it may seem almost impossible to do at first, here are five tips for rebuilding your self-worth and making peace with the situation.

Delve Into Self-Reflection

Take the time to dig deep into the reality behind the feeling. After all, it is perhaps the hardest thing to face, but unrequited love is an obstacle of circumstance. Your first task is to assess what truly matters to you in life, and to take responsibility for your own happiness. Acknowledge where your fear is coming from—whether it's fear of being lonely, fear of entering a new relationship, fear of going out of your comfort zone, or any other calamity —and overcome this mental challenge one thought at a time. Engaging in self-reflection allows you to delve deeper into understanding and compassion for yourself, carving a pathway to increasing the strength of your inner voice.

Cultivate Healthy Habits

It's easy to feel like you don't want to do anything when your feelings aren't being returned, but getting out of the house, eating healthily, getting plenty of sleep, and exercising can all help to keep your mental and physical health in check. Take the opportunity to learn a new skill, pick up a new hobby, or join a course. Whatever it is, commit to staying focused and engaged in activities that capture your attention. This will ultimately give you extra energy to focus on the things that matter to you most and take your mind off things that disturb you.

Surround Yourself With Positive People

Having strong support systems in place can cushion you against the gravity of the disheartening emotions that come with unrequited love. Reach out to family members and friends, surround yourself with positivity, and make sure that you open up to those closest to you. It's important to have people around who believe in you and will stand by you in such trying moments. It isn't intended to replace one-on-one therapy but rather to provide an additional layer of reinforcement during your tough times.

Distance from the Relationship

Seeming strong on the outside isn't always a great idea. Differentiate yourself from the situation and take some time to fill up your cup of courage before taking any significant action. Creating some distance will help you to reflect back on your experience, objectively observe what remains from the past, and look forward to the future without being weighed down by sadness.

Be Ready to Let Go

Lastly and perhaps most importantly, be willing to let go when the time comes. Impervious to all truth, persistence may only backfire, as any transformation requires that you’ve first set yourself free. Adopt the perspective that these sad moments are part of life, allow the painful emotions to move through you, and accept what cannot be changed. Doing these things will help prepare you to take the high road, while providing you with closure that you can carry forward in new relationships.

Anguish and pain can be unavoidable companions when love isn't returned, just as understanding and tranquility are more likely when you finally allow them to enter in. Be sure to practice self-compassion and nurture your inner voice as much as possible, to help you make peace with your circumstances, find closure, and build upon the strength it takes to go on and develop the satisfying relationships you yearn for.