The Road to Deep Self-Connection: Unraveling Generations of Emotional Suppression

Life is full of highs and lows, but we can all agree that it is the moments of true emotionality that we cherish and remember. We can strive to be emotionally healthy when we are able to recognize, express, and validate our emotions. Deeply connecting with yourself and cultivating a strong emotional foundation can help you not only navigate life’s journey with ease, but also set the stage for making meaningful connections with those around you.

Unfortunately, despite this seeming essentiality for personal growth, for many generations, the importance of emotional connection has been grossly overlooked. For far too long, fathers were expected to be stoic, maintaining a tough exterior. Mothers were rarely allowed to express or display anger, or even just show frustration. Many cultures and societies saw crying as a sign of crippling weakness. In addition, unquestioned beliefs and expectations of gender, race, and class continually shaped people's understanding of and ability to access emotions.

Though progress is being made in terms of freeing ourselves from these outdated beliefs, many struggles linger due to repeated messages, imprinted on us as children and young adults, that emotions should be stifled or extinguished before they are considered worthy of expressing and validating. The process of deep self-connection, therefore, can often seem daunting in the face of several generations of emotional suppression.

However, there is much hope to be found along that road. To unlock the depths of your suppressed emotions, it can help to begin with the basics—namely, getting comfortable with yourself and your emotions. Spend some time exploring what makes you tick. Take a good, hard look at your innermost thoughts and feelings. Ask yourself questions: What are my strengths? What are areas I need to work on? What activities help me feel connected to my emotions? Doing this inward exploration can provide immense insight into how and why you react to certain situations the way you do, opening up for better communication and understanding.

Next, take some time to evaluate your own capacity for emotion. Determine what specific emotions you are most easily able to express and which you find more difficult. Consider asking those close to you to offer insights into the emotions you often suppress. Ask about what it was like for them to grow up in your particular family or culture and how it may have impacted their ability to recognize and understand their own emotions. Their wisdom can provide valuable clues that can increase your appreciation for yourself and your own struggles.

Once you’ve examined your own experiences, the next step is to start building the skills necessary to transform your emotions into healthier outlets. If angry outbursts are your usual reactivity, ask yourself what other ways you can express your feelings safely. Is journaling or creative arts therapy a better choice for you? If you tend to stuff down or push away sadness, could meditation or yoga help? Experiment with multiple approaches and determine what works best for you.

The journey to deep self-connection can also be eased by selecting trusted advisors, who may be anyone from a mentor, a friend, or a therapist, to speak with and provide you guidance through your journey. It is important to seek out people that are emotionally independent, emotionally mature, and secure with themselves and their emotions. Take the time to learn some emotion regulation skills and practice them daily. Once you become comfortable with recognizing and working through big emotions, it will be easier to take greater ownership of your personal growth.

Though the road towards deep emotional connection is not always easy, it is a path surely worth taking. From knowing what triggers your emotions to learning how to work through them, understanding yourself in a new light brings about powerful moments of joy and love. Connecting with yourself in ways that others have forgotten gives you the chance to rewrite the story of your life and create a much stronger foundation for healing, growth, and change.