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  • Paula Thompson
    Paula Thompson

    When Love and Devotion Overlap

    At first glance, it might seem like an impossible situation; torn between one’s beloved and one’s child. The two are two of the most important people in our lives and neither deserves to be ignored or put aside. Who will win in a tug-of-war between parents and spouses?

    Unfortunately, there is no easy answer. As a parent ourselves, we may be tempted to lean towards favoring our child, but that could lead to weakened or damaged relationships with our significant others. We may also find ourselves turning more to the spouse, only to let our children feel left out and let down.

    Regardless of the difficult position, we all find ourselves in, there is still a way to balance the love, devotion and affection we share between our partners and our children. It begins with being honest with yourself about how much time you can genuinely commit to each, followed by a willingness to build meaningful and genuine connections with both.

    The choices we make in life have consequences, and it is our job to ensure both our children and our partners are taken care of. That is easier said than done, but it is not impossible. Spend dedicated quality time with each person, such as planning special activities with your children and scheduling romantic outings with your spouse. With some creativity, it is possible to share multiple moments with everyone equally and create relationships with both that promote growth, trust and understanding. Structure is key: live each day with a clear plan and stay committed to it.

    If that is not enough, it may be helpful to step back and look at the “bigger picture” of life and gain perspective. Ask yourself if any issues have been left unresolved between you and your spouse or children. If that is the case, address them as soon as you can. Or take a minute to evaluate your current situation and determine if something else is going on which is triggering your inner conflict.

    Finding a way to care for both our children and our lovers might be hard, but it isn’t impossible. Mealtime conversations and nighttime star gazing can help bring the family closer together and reignite the spark of love and understanding between everyone. Life can be full of love and devotion and by showing dedication to both, a beautiful balance can be achieved.

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