The Ten Top Reasons for Camouflage Chic

Excerpted from
Does This Make Me Look Fat? The Definitive Rules for Dressing Thin for Every Height, Size, and Shape
By Leah Feldon

1: We All Have A Little Something to Hide

No matter what dress size you are or how much you weigh, perfect proportions are hard to come by. Yes, there's always some little thing about us (or some big thing, for that matter) that keeps us humble and provides a sartorial challenge. That something can come in the form of superfluous bulges such as the ever-popular potbelly, a balance discrepancy such as a big hip/small rib cage combo, or a proportional variance-big legs, sloping shoulders, or short stature, for example.

One of my clients, for instance, has an arm thing She's a size eight but has very long arms in relation to the rest of her body. She calls them monkey arms, which, being a wildlife enthusiast, I find rather charming. Before we had our first official wardrobe consultation, she had been buying clothes to fit her arms, which, not surprisingly, meant that the clothes were too big for the rest of her. She ended up looking lost in her oversized boxy business suits-and much less sleek and chic than she should have. Who would have guessed that a few extra inches in arm length could make such a difference to an entire look?

Let's face it, supermodels get the big bucks because, for whatever karmic reasons, they got blessed with near-perfect proportions, not to mention the impossibly photogenic faces. When they do have any proportional oddities, they are usually ones that work for them, not against them. That is, the disproportions make for an even taller and slimmer look. Take Nadja Auermann, for example. She's the German, usually platinum blond model who was dubbed "Der Stork" by her insensitive playmates as she was growing up. The moniker may have wounded her to the core as a child, but today she's cashing in big time on her remarkably long legs, which are a definite plus when it comes to wearing clothes well. So are long necks like Iman's ... But enough about supermodels and their serendipitous oddities.

Most of us will find that our figure challenges are usually a little less advantageous than Der Stork's. And while Linda and Naomi, or Shalom and Amber, might look perfectly slim and adorable in an old tablecloth cinched in with a clothesline, the rest of us have to choose our outfits a little more carefully. We have to be totally aware of what we wear and how it affects our individual proportions. So take heed: We cannot wear all the stuff we see in magazines and expect to look just like the pictures. The women wearing those outfits are practically six feet tall and megaskinny. The average American woman is five feet, four inches tall and weighs 144 pounds. We need to think camouflage.

2: This Is the Age of Svelte

Back in seventeenth-century Antwerp, Rubens's hefty models were considered perfect specimens of feminine pulchritude-veritable hot tomatoes, if you will. Today those very same women would be slurping Slim-Fast and pumping the StairMaster double time just to stay in business.

These days, looking slim is not just fashionable, it's a national obsession. Consider the run on fen-phen (when it was legal), the popularity of liposuction, the number of blockbuster diet books, the prevalence of low-fat snacks, low-cal food, diet drinks, and liquid food substitutes, the profitability of slim and trim gadgets like Thighmasters and Butt Busters, the profusion of weight reduction salons and overeaters' support groups, and the pervasiveness of eating disorders. Whew! The only thing Americans seem more obsessed with than looking thin is ... food!

So if you care in the least about looking sleek and slender, you're in excellent company. You'd have to be living on another planet not to get caught up in the collective obsession. We have all, to one degree or another, bought into the ideal of svelte. It's a cultural thing-we can't avoid it. Until America as a whole starts embracing the full figure as the womanly ideal of beauty (as some other cultures do), the pressure will be on to conform to one degree or another.

So my feeling is this: If you can't lick 'em, join 'em-not wholeheartedly, of course. I mean certainly not at the risk of your health. Go hook, line, and hold the sinker. Eat and exercise sensibly to stay within a range that's healthy and comfortable for your body, and let your clothes take care of the rest. Let us not forget that happiness is more important than a wispy waistline. If we're smart, our real personal goals will be more in the realm of total well-being-physical, mental, and spiritual. On the other hand, we all have to wear clothes, so we might as well follow the Rules of Camouflage Chic and pick ones that will give us an edge in the society of slim.

3: Unlike Surgery, Camouflage Doesn't Hurt!

Camouflage Chic is the safest and the most painless way I know to look thinner. I'm too squeamish to get into the unappetizing details of liposuction-or the gruesome horror stories of overzealous or underqualified doctors, for that matter. And I'm sure you're aware of potential risks of diet drugs. Suffice it to say, Camouflage Chic is a much milder, less perilous alternative - just a little harmless shopping with no recovery time. So forget that "No pain, no gain" mantra. It's old hat. The most agonizing part of Camouflage Chic is coming to grips with your imperfections. And since nobody else is perfect, that shouldn't be a big deal either. We're all in this together

This is not to say, incidentally, that I'm not 110 percent in favor of exercise and good healthy eating habits. I'm not letting you off that easy. They're both too important for your well-being for you to ignore them. Although I'm no fitness guru, I do try to work out, eat well, and keep up. And study after study confirms that regular exercise and healthy eating habits decrease the risk of serious disease, increase longevity, and improve general health. And they give a very lovely natural glow, too. So let's hop to it!