Boyfriend and I broke up 2 months ago after he "needed space". Want him back!

My boyfriend and I were together for 2 and a half years as of this past February. Last July, he asked me to move in with him. Our relationship was an LDR (as he went to college 4 hours away) and then we went right to living together. We never had chance to just date.

After we started living together, he started to change. Every couple of weeks we would have to talk about it because he was putting NO effort into the relationship while I could feel him slipping away so I started putting ALL the effort into the relationship. He said he just wasn't happy because I was "too clingy". I moved to a new state for him, so at first yes I was clingy. I didn't know anything here or have any friends here.

So finally, March 1 I sat him down and said "I can't do this anymore. This isn't fair to me. I want to be with you so badly, but I can't continue this relationship like this if you don't put any effort in" and he said he understands, he just needs space. He's scared to lose me, as I am him, but he just wants "me time". So I decided to move out and get my own place. The first couple weeks after the breakup we were on and off, acting like we were still together. Then the past two weeks, I stopped texting him as much, he stopped texting me completely. And that's that. I've been crying every single day since I moved out because I miss him so immensely.

This past Wednesday he texted me asking if I can pick up my mail that was still coming to his place. I said that probably wasn't a good idea plus I'm busy, so I asked him to mail it to me. Then he asked how I was doing, we made small talk, but he could tell I'm being offstandish to him so he broke down and said he missed me, but still doesn't want me back. He's terrified I'm going to find somebody else but he still wants "me time" and to be alone and do his own thing. He said that if we ever do get back together, now that i live 20 minutes away we can have the chance we never got to have and finally just date. But he doesn't want to jump back into things right away at the fear of slipping back to how we were. I agree to an extent. I feel that if we did jump back into things, we wouldn't slip back to how we were because I would still go home to my place and he would go home to his. We don't live together anymore so I feel that would help. But regardless, I felt great after that conversation knowing how miserable he was.

Then this past Saturday happened. I got drunk. I texted him and poured my heart out to him which I know pushed him away. I told him I don't want to do this, and now we can have the chance we never got to have. I said I missed being his girlfriend, cuddling with him, kissing him, etc.. And he said "I do too but I need space". He kept saying things like that which pissed me off, so I told him last Friday I went on a date (which is true, but it was awful- the whole time I was comparing my date to my ex, which is how I know I'm definitely not ready to move on yet). And he said he was extremely hurt by that and can't believe I'm moving on so quickly. We ended it at that.

Yesterday morning I woke up and re-read the conversation we had. I was horrified. I texted him immediately and apologized and blamed it on the alcohol, and said I hope we're still on the same page with the possibility of ever getting together again in the future. He said maybe, but his "views were now skewed" after I lashed out at him last night (when I told him I went on a date). I know I messed up completely by texting him Saturday. We haven't talked since yesterday and I'm not going to text him until he caves and texts me first. I'm not sure when that will be but I hope soon. I hope I didn't push him away even more, which I probably did. I know I need to give him the space he keeps requesting, and I also know I need to work on myself during this time. I just really wish he was still with me and by my side. I can't imagine ever being with anybody else, and he has also said that before.

I'm just scared also that because he knows I went on a date, he's going to start dating and forget all about me. Ugh.

He isn't ready, willing or able to be in a relationship. And you are acting as though being in a relationship is your reason for living.

He isn't going to cave. He isn't that interested. I think you should focus on being an independent single woman and having a full social life.

His actions tell me otherwise though. Last week he was telling me how much he loves me, can't imagine being with anybody else etc... But then still says he wants space. He has said that he believes what we had was "true love" and "what's meant to be will be" and we might find each other again, and if he comes back he'll "be serious and have a ring". He's also said that he doesn't want to throw away what we have, but then keeps throwing it in my face that he needs space. I really don't want to give up. I don't want to start over with somebody else. I just hope that once I finally let go, he comes back.

His words don't back up his actions in any way, shape or form.

Space is his operative word and action. You have no choice but to give up. It takes BOTH people to have a relationship. Without space.

He won't start dating because he can't even cope with being with the one he wants let alone date another girl and make his life even more complicated.

I can't work out if he's stringing you along or really does want space. I think if this carries on you may need to give him an ultimatum x

Ultimatums don't work. This relationship (or whatever it is) isn't working. He doesn't want to put the effort in.

Find happiness on your own and when you get to "that place", then start looking for someone to date.