How can I stop going for the wrong girl and getting broken?

I'm a 25year old guy and I've just had an awful, terrible time with relationships. I've only had 3 aswell.

First one was just teen romance that fizzled out but the second recent ones have been pure hell to get over.

The second girlfriend was just so highly strung and emotional (I'm very emotional guy myself) that we just clashed and argued to the point that it became an abusive relationship. I don't know how we lasted over 2 years!

And the recent one was a rebound relationship that only lasted 4 months, we met 6 months after the previous girlfriend left me.

This girl is the opposite of me in every sense and we dated each other because we were very attracted to each other although we didn't have much in common. We've been split up for 6 months now and she works in the department next to mine so I see her at least 2-3 times a week. She's so cold as a person and after we split she was just incredibly mean and b1tchy, trying to shut me out of her life completely.

I tried speaking to her recently just to be civil, but she literally told me to F off and sent me an abusive message over Facebook, which I'm not going to read because I know it will be nasty and upset me. We just didn't get on at all.

I'm really saddened to think that at my age, I'm ready to completely give up on love and avoid getting close to women. I don't know why but the rejection still gets to me months later and the thought of being in a relationship ever again makes me feel sick. So many people get divorced, whats the point in risking heartbreak?

I'm so cynical because of these two horrendous breakups. Does anyone have any advice for me? I'm scared that I'll never be capable of holding down a healthy relationship.

Okay, first of all understand that feeling the way you do right now is normal and understandable. You just got through with two draining, unsatisfying relationships - it's natural for you to want to stay single awhile, and probably the best thing for you, so without your conscious mind even realizing it, your brain has chosen the healthiest course of action for you. That's a good thing! I've been where you are, feeling that all marriages are doomed to failure so why bother, and feeling so scared of relationships. It will pass.

The question is, what will you do with your time alone? You can use this time to make yourself a better person, to learn and grow so you don't repeat past mistakes. This time alone is a gift - use it wisely!

I sometimes wonder whether the problem is just me, my sensitive personality. Or whether its just a bad choice of partner.

I sometimes wonder whether the problem is just me

You're the common denominator in all your relationships; guaranteed there is something about you that makes you choose these partners. This time alone is when you figure out what it is, and address it.

All of 25 and ready to give up. I hate to tell you but some people are still looking well into older age.

You've had all of three relationships. Teen romances and rebounds rarely work so one relationship with a shot at working.

Get back out there and date once you feel better. Just learn to be.more discriminating up front. Life's a crap shoot. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. But unless you want to become a hermit, there is no other alternative than to try.

I know people who are well into their 40's who are still single and looking... One friend in particular is happy he waited, after telling me he watched all of his married friends get divorced, one by one. I think a lot of us are in the same boat this day in age....Myself included. Ive had my fair share of relationships in my early 20's, some good, some bad....and then it was all over. I was crushed at first.....but slowly after time passed, things started to look more positive. OP, In your case, the thing is that you really need to do right now take time to yourself, get a shift of focus into other areas in your life, and try to find happiness in life without a partner first. You might soon discover that It's great to be single and free... Then, maybe you might meet someone along the way...

" I don't know why but the rejection still gets to me months later and the thought of being in a relationship ever again makes me feel sick"

- That's the thing..

Rejection and break ups hurt.

YOU just need more time I feel, on your own. Don't aim for any involvement for a while until you're over this 'emotional rollercoaster'.

"So many people get divorced, whats the point in risking heartbreak?"

- This is what i've thought as well, over & over.. but it seems like we end up going for it again.

I think because we don't want to be alone forever. Some time alone, on our own is good. To get ourselves back to 'good' and be satisfied with who we are.

Okay, so you are 25 with 3 BU's under your belt. The world isnt over.. but YOU are feeling a lot of negative right now.

So, do some serious down-time for yourself.

IF you feel too overwhelmed, maybe consider some prof help? That never hurts.

Also, remember, it takes time to feel better after a BU occurs. Can take months.

So, slow things down, for yourself. Work on getting your self esteem back and your emotions in check.

Give yourself time.

I feel in a few months down the road, you will start to feel a bit better.

gd luck