Beyond my imagination...help

Hi all,

Let me start by a brief summary of my recent encounter.

I and my ex has an age gap of 11 years. She's 24 and I am divorced. I went after her for 2 months b4 she accepted me. I put in my best effort to love and care for her as i wanted us to work. We spent almost every day together during the courtship and during our short span of 5weeks as a couple. She was initially very reluctant to accept me coz of my age n status but was touched my sincerity eventually. I could feel our love growing and the attraction was strong.

But the unforeseen happened. I was totally wasted 1 night and sent her some nasty text messages. She broke up with me the next morning, refusing to see me n talk to me and the reason for the break up: i am not what she wants and she is better off without me.

I am lost and can't function at all. I can't reconcile the fact that this moment we can't even bear to part with each other and she can tell me such hurtful things the next. When she broke off with me, her tone was like i have cheated on her and she hated me to the core. Its has been 2 days. I missed her so much. Every where i go i see her image. Everything i do, i think of her. I am dying. I resent myself for drinking that night. I resent myself for being lousy. I can't stop my tears...how can i get her back? She is a taurus and stubborn as a bull.

She doesn't want to talk and has deleted me from all social media.

I feel like just ending my so imperfect life....

She wasn't really into you, she gave you a chance, you blew it.

All you can do is work on your drinking and move on.

5 weeks is not too much in the grand scheme of things, don't build this up into something bigger than it was.

You're a Byson... you WILL get over this.

Honestly, their 'sign' has nothing to do with this.

Yes, you've done something hurtful to her. She's lashed back as she is also hurting.

Best is to leave her alone now.

Are you truly over your divorce? To me, in ways, it sounds like you're acting out as a bit 'insecure & clingy'.

How about considering some down time for YOU. Work on your emotional & mental stability?

Take a few months to be on your own now. Stop looking for dates... you can't move on in a healthy manner if you're not all together mentally.

Slow down... breathe...

As mentioned, watch your alcohol consumption.

My divorce was 4 years back. I have moved on since. I may have a little drinking problem coz i have a sense of resentment and frustration towards life.

I agree that i am insecure n thus clingy coz she is younger and pretty and she has a few guys going after her.

I told her if she needed space or anything she is uncomfortable with, pls tell me coz i want us to be transparent and have a healthy r/s with lots of communication.

Do you guys feel that my mistake deserve a death sentence?

It is the first "mistake" i made, why can't she give me a chance?

I am still paralyzed by the shock and totally lost now...