So my girlfreind can't get me to cum through masturbation, and I got a few answers from people on the web here saying that it is either psychological, or bad technique. So today after we laid in my bed and I started to get a little intimate with her and she said she didnt want to because her tounge hurt. I didnt want to seem like I was forcing it on her, and I didnt say that she didnt need to make out with me to do what I wanted to do. So I got really frustrated and just turned away and told her how much I hate myself for having this problem. I just wanted to tear down all my posters and push my tv over and break everything in my room, but I just sat there. She grew really worried and later we talked things out. After we started going at it again, I started to finger her, and she grew really really tired after about 5 minutes of this. So, we waited, and I asked if she wanted to keep going and she said yes. So I decided to try somthing new, and use lubricant. We used lotion, and after she tried making me cum for only a few minutes, I could tell she was loosing interest (and hope), and was growing very tired. I know that she has asthma, but I dont know if that was what was making her so tired. She and I talked again after we stopped, and I asked if she wants to try a blow job sometime, and she agreed, but she has a gag reflex. Im not THAT big, but Im sure that if she tried deep throat, it would deffinetly trigger a gag. She has never done anything with any other guy before, so she is very inexpirenced. We talked about it, and are comfertable with our plan on having sex in may when she can get her birth control, (with condoms too). Please help me, and give me comments on what I can do to make the intamacy in our relatonship work.
Would it work for you to just not focus on the actual orgasm. Just enjoy any time you two are intimate and she wants to use her hands or mouth on you. It should feel really pleasurable. When you get to the point you want to have an orgasm, use your own hand or maybe try using her breasts to make it happen. DIY for now
Why the urgency and frustration over not being able to orgasm with her that way? You are making what should be a wonderful experience seem like an emotional nightmare. Chill.
I have the same problem fyi so I am not just talking out of my rear.
Sometimes it just doesn't happen, it usually takes me 30+ to cum from a hand job or a blow job. Good technique can help, but the idea is your sharing something special with someone else. If getting off is that important you can take care of that yourself.
"Stop talking about love, every *sshole in the world says he loves somebody it means nothing. What you feel only matters to you. It's what you do to the people you say you love that matters, that's the only thing that counts."
So I decided to try something new, and use lubricant.
LOL! very new.
Originally Posted by Vandilism33
Please help me, and give me comments on what I can do to make the intimacy in our relationship work.
what’s the big deal about ejaculation? you should be enjoying the intimacy. in this society people are lead to think that the only important thing is the 1 second of pleasure at the moment of ejaculation.
what about enjoying every single touch, being near her, the sensations as you kiss/tickle each other etc. there is a lot more to it then simply the ejaculation.
putting pressure on a girl generally makes it worse. often a lot of it is psychological.
maybe it's good to take it a step back on the physical side and work on the emotional side, building some emotional intimacy. opening up to what's really going on in your heads, listening and understanding each other. not forcing anything just enjoying your time together.
as you strengthen the relationship and the emotional bond it'll strengthen her feelings for you, and she'll enjoy the cuddling more, and be more enthusiastic to please each other for the sake of the joy of making someone happy instead of doing it out of duty.