Her depression is driving me crazy, HELP!!!!!

[economist]

Hello all,

 

I am new to this so forgive my lack of experience. Also, little long, please help-I need some advice.

 

I have been dating S for 19 months (off and on) - I am going to be blunt, it has been rocky.

 

Background:

We got together and left for the summer at the end of the semester, while away we stayed together. I later learned that she rekindled her relationship with psycho high school boyfriend over the summer, lets call him M while still with me. We got back, I found out, we split, then got back together when things cooled off for me. Sooooo, semester goes on and I am still not settled by it. We break for Xmas get back together and I miss her but am still angry.

 

A new semester begins and after not answering her calls all break I finally do, now keep in mind we weren't together all over XMAS. So I have been seeing other girls, yadda yadda, I hook up with one of her not so close friends.

 

At this point I realize I really do love her and want more than anything to have her in my life. But, I've already been with someone else....and I neglect to tell her, I know, my mistake. The year proceeds, and she finds out, we break up, only to get back together all of this summer in May.

 

We had, no kidding, the best summer 2 people have ever had together-it was hands down the best time of my life. Then this school year started in August. Well, she has to see this girl again. At first she would be upset for a little bit and then she would get over it - and we would proceed with the night.

 

Suddenly, one afternoon, she had been at a function where she had to see this girl for hours, she lost it. She had a nervous breakdown, crying lots, but in a different way. She was really suffering from depression. She wasn't mean to me, but she said it was to hard for her and she needed a break.

 

Here I am:

I'm in this break, still committed to her, but her depression is driving me depressed. She says that she can't have worry about me now because she cares about me so much and I affect her so deeply -and she needs to focus on her problems. I don't get it. Is she lying? Hiding something? She tells me she loves me more than anyone she ever has, and cares about me more than she ever has for anyone. I feel the same for her, but I am having some serious trouble with this.

 

I have nightmares, cant sleep, am constantly anxious, and miss her terribly. I am nervous that she'll realize - hey I like my life better without him. And worst of all I can't talk about this with her, because it makes her even worse. She's medicated and going to therapy but I am feeling really neglected. I love her more than anything and just want things to be the way they were this summer.

 

Will trade love and depression advice for investment advice!!

 

Thank you, I can't tell u what some needed advice might do for me.

[lilcherub]

The best advice i can give you is to be patient and realise that depression is an illness that will never go away, it can be treated, you can recover and not be affected so much but that requires heavy does of medication to control your moods. I wish I could say it will be easy for you but I cannot, and I wish I could say it will all work out but it may not. All I can say is that you need to be a friend more then trying to rekindle a relationship. And be there if she needs you, realise its about her and not about you anymore, but also don't allow yourself to be taken advantage of. Frome experience thats all I can give you for advice its not much but I hope that it can help a little.

 

lilcherub

[Baby Blue]

Let me tell you something - you're lucky. I can't predict wether or not she will get back with you at the end of all of this, but she has made a very big step in getting help. All you can do I'm afraid is just let her do it on her own, and if she asks you for help then do as she asks. I'm worried about my ex gf at the moment because I think she doesn't know she has a problem.....