Regrets....would you fix them if you could?

[Raincheck]

I really dislike the cliche many people use, that being:

 

"I have no regrets, I don't look at the past."

 

It's not true. All of us have regrets and you know we think about them. So my question is this: the reason most people don't make up for their regrets is because they can't, but what if you could? I mean...what if you could fix a regret of yours but it would require shifting your life for the time being...for example, it might involve moving to another city for a few months or going without a job for a few months....would you do it?

 

I know the question is vague...but its a regret I personally have. I dont want to discuss it because its one no one will understand but me and a few involved. I finished college...and I started something in college that I did not finish, and now I live with the regret everyday of not finishing what I started. Now, I have two options:

 

I can deal with my mistake and try to let go.

 

Or I can go back to school for a semester, just to fix the mistake. this would mean postponing my professional life.

 

Please dont ask me what the msitake is.....but what are your takes on it? what would you do?

[Aldo25]

Honestly? I do have a few regrets, most of them involve letting my relationship to my ex spiral out of control (the relationship ended about two weeks ago). If I had to do it all over again, there are probably several things I would have done differently to try to keep the love there.

 

However, I've recently met this really nice girl who's interested in me and if things go the way I think they'll go tonight, I'll have made a great new friend (and perhaps something more), so you see, I do have regrets about my relationship, but at the same time I'm seeing the positives as well.

[pinkelephant]

I think when people say that, they mean, they don't regret the things they've done however bad it may seem at the moment - because they all led to better wonderful things.

 

 

I think some of those things are true, but the things I've regret.. nothing good has come out of it. I regret my ex bf, a lot. If I could go back, I'd not only NOT be with him, but stayed away altogether. I wish I'd never known him. I also regret betraying my bestfriend last year, if I could, I'd never do it.

[FrancisHouseman]

I have tons of regrest, some that keep me awake at night, that bother me intensly.

 

(edited because: I totally blurbbed my regrets! and realised someone might find them!)

 

I hate that i started college and A levels but left because I wanted to earn money and go clubbing instead and ended up in a rubbish low paying job because i have no qualifications.

 

I regret that I told someone a secret about my mum that my mum trusted me with, that i had to share it with someone because my head was in bits, but that i will always worry about that friend betraying my confidence and tearing my family apart.

 

I think people say that they dont worry abou regrets, a lot of us just SAY that, but i think we would rather not THINK about those regrets because the thought of them makes us feel the pain all over again..

 

I try to let the past be the past, but every now and again it swallows me whole like a dark monster..

[Mavis VDSande]

Of course we have regrets but going back to undo the regret depends on why you want to do it. For example - will it give you more opportunities to develop your profession now? Are you worried about what an unfinished qualification will look like on paper? Was it something you messed up but genuinelly enjoyed and would like to pursue?

[Sweet Buttabean Jellayroll]

i have only one regret

 

no asking this girl out i used to flirt with....thats it

 

and some people dont regret thangs cz they learn from them, so how can u regret something when u learn a valuable lesson from it......

[CreedBratton]

I would go back to when I was in 4th grade and kick my own * * *. Seriously I was a stupid little awkward brat. And if i could go back in time I would tell myself to keep up on your studies, so college is that much easier down the road, and who knows ...... maybe would have gotten that intelligent soul mate ive been searching for.

[Raincheck]

Of course we have regrets but going back to undo the regret depends on why you want to do it. For example - will it give you more opportunities to develop your profession now? Are you worried about what an unfinished qualification will look like on paper? Was it something you messed up but genuinelly enjoyed and would like to pursue?

 

Well, I am a recent college grad...so I don't really have a profession, but in general this oppurtunity can open doors in the professional world, yes. But at the same time, no, it will not prohibit me at all from being sucessful in the professional world, it won't even be on paper or on record for that matter.

 

Yes, it was something I messed up on. Something that could have brough a lot of good things for me. I now have the oppurtunity (if I wanted to) to go back to school just to fix it, but it will mean putting everything on hold.

 

What I am torn between is should I just let it go and move on since it only affects me because I LET IT...or should I go back and fix it to be at peace with myself? To be honest, I think what is holding me back from going to fix it is the fact that I am scared. I am scared of failing at it again and also, postponing my life for it, even if it onl ymeans a few months.

[JadedStar]

That is sad that you think that is a cliche to say that. I don't really have regrets. This does not mean I did not make mistakes, however, those mistakes made me who i am today and some of them were necessary.

 

I don't really have regrets. Even the marriage i was in for 17 LONG years i do not regret. During that time I worked on myself, raised my kids and climbed the ladder at work. I think back and wonder if i had been very content in a realtioship, some of those other things might not have worked out. So I don't see it as a regret. I had my first child at `18, still not a regret. It settled my butt down and I went on to finish college.

 

I don't think something that might be a mistake has to be a regret. I have learned so much from every error I have ever made.

[itsallgrand]

Go fix it!

 

Hmm. Is it a regret if you can fix it, if there is still time and place to do so?

 

I got some regrets. Some things you can not take back. Can not change. Can not make good on.

 

That's not to say that you can't make peace with it, or turn some positives out of it.

 

Let's say a person chose to drive drunk one night and accidentally killed someone because of that stupid decision.

I would hope the person would experience regret!

Even if that person went on to save 1000 lives through good works and awareness, they could never turn back and bring that one life back.

 

Regret is for those things which we no longer have any power over.

 

Regret is self punishing but sometimes just and good! Sometimes we need to feel that sort of pain to know we are so far off track.

 

Rain, you simply made a mistake. It's not too late, it doesn't have to become a regret....

[JadedStar]

Let's say a person chose to drive drunk one night and accidentally killed someone because of that stupid decision.

I would hope the person would experience regret!

Even if that person went on to save 1000 lives through good works and awareness, they could never turn back and bring that one life back

 

Yeah, now something like that WOULD be a true regret.

 

Knock on wood I don't have things like that in my past to get thru. That is why i said i have no regrets. I only had learning experiences. But yeah, an instance like this...that would be really really hard to overcome.

[Raincheck]

I don't think its sad. I think having regrets is human and shows you both think and feel. I don't believe anyone when they say, "oh, I have no regrets". Everyone has things they wish they could go back and change. Regrets aren't only about "love" life. It could be you wishing you had joined that wrestling team in high school, or gone after your modeling passion when you were younger. Regrets push us to do better to kind of compensate for our past. I see nothing sad nor wrong about having regrets, everyone just wants to be seen as "carefree and laidback" that's why that CLICHE of "oh, I have no regrets, I dont worry about the past" continuously comes back.

[JadedStar]

I don't think its sad. I think having regrets is human and shows you both think and feel. I don't believe anyone when they say, "oh, I have no regrets".

 

You did not read what I said. I said i thought it was sad that you would assume that a person REALLY DOES feel this way. Please do not put words in my mouth. I never said that having regrets in itself is sad. You may not believe me, but that is your problem. I know who I am and know that I don't have regrets. There is nothing in my life (thus far) that I regret because even my mistakes have had a silver lining.

 

YOu are projecting YOUR feelings onto someone else. Don't believe me...but I k now what I feel.

 

Did I ever ONCE say there was anything wrong with having regrets? See, you did not read what I wrote, you only skimmed it. There is nothing wrong if you have regrets, but personally I do not have them and what I said was sad was that you are basically telling me I am lying. Speak for yourself. This could all change tomorrow and I end up with a regret, but I am telling you that at 40 years old, right now, I cannot think back and say I feel a regret. I have chased the dreams I wanted professionally, raised my kids the best I could and very proud of it, stuck it out in my marriage long enough for my kids to grow up (some may consider this a regret, i do not regret my decision at all, I made sacrifices and I sleep well at night thank you very much).

[Raincheck]

Good for you.

[JadedStar]

Good for you.

 

Thank you for not telling me that you know what I feel.

 

Not everyone feels the same way. My issue with your previous posts was when i shared why i don't feel i had regrets, you told me i must be wrong!

[Transcendental]

It always sucks to regret something you can't go back fix, but this you can fix, by going back, so why not go for it? I don't know what your situation is specifically but if it makes things better, why not. It's only for one semester anyway

[lonely_4_life]

we all have regets i mean i have one its wiht my lasted realtionship i mean if i could go back in time i would and change it

[glegend]

Everything that has happened in my life would be a regret. The only thing that I don't regret is mt girlfriend but other then that I would change eveything

[Cyndane]

Sure, I have regrets from my past and would happily fix some of them if I could. But thats the thing - I can't go back to the past. So instead of focussing on things beyond my control, I choose to learn from my mistakes. The other thing is, even if I could fix those regrets, whats the guarantee that fixing it would mean a better future for me?

[Raincheck]

Sure, I have regrets from my past and would happily fix some of them if I could. But thats the thing - I can't go back to the past. So instead of focussing on things beyond my control, I choose to learn from my mistakes. The other thing is, even if I could fix those regrets, whats the guarantee that fixing it would mean a better future for me?

 

You make complete sense and I completely agree.

 

This is what I mean. People are always saying, "I have no regrets", we ALL do...unless your perfect. Regrets dont have to be about careers or relationships. It could be small things that mattered to you. I think what they really mean is what you said: since they can't go back and fix it, why let it bother you? So they dismiss it as "not having regrets" when they do...they are just MOVING ON, which is what they should.

 

And your last sentence is so true and such a good point. Who says if we fix our regrets it would mean a better future? Maybe because of that mistake turned regret is the reason someone is sucessful.

[Lark24]

I have a few regrets. I wish I could go back in time and fix them but I can't. It's just something that I have to carry with me for the rest of my life.

 

One of them is so bad that it sometimes keeps me up at night. I often pray to God to help me with it because I was weak and let someone I loved walk all over me and use me. I was like a robot then. I don't feel comfortable explaining what it was that I did. It's embarrassing.

[Linette]

What a good topic. This is my first post, so I am jumping in. I have quite a few regrets, but the one that troubles me the most is the fact that I continue to repeat the same cycle in relationships. I keep thinking that I have improved, but it doesn't seem to be the case. I now realize that just because it is taking longer (years) for each relationship to fall into ruin, it is clear that I am incapable of having a healthy coupled life.