Terrible person!

[edjuvreason]

I feel really terrible. My second-most recent ex just told me that I was too selfish for trying to make him communicate with me instead of just giving him sex, and concurrently the most recent one is saying I was not selfish enough for allowing him to have sex with me without communicating enough about who I am and what I wanted.

Pretty much, I gave each one what he wanted, and now each is angry and faults my character for doing just that (at least on the surface ... in each case, I had continued to act like myself when I was alone or with other friends).

 

But I have truly begun to hate myself, even more than I did before ... just when I thought I was getting better. To make things worse, it is my bad time of month and in conjunction with my depression, it is making me want to eat chocolate, which is making me feel and look fat -- just when I had started to whittle my body back to my ideal weight (which is actually pretty thin, but still, it made me feel a whole lot better when I was very thin).

 

Could someone please tell me how to stop eating? I only had one chocolate bar in the house and will not buy more, but the compulsion and desire is still there. I'm afraid I will drink all my chocolate soymilk and eat all my organic chocolate yogurt, and then feel enormously fat, which will make me suicidally depressed.

[nilli]

Hey,

 

relationships are learning experiences so perhaps this is a cue to find a balance between giving and taking, rather than just one or the other.

 

I know that food compulsions are particularly distressing. How much do you think about it? What activities do you do that occupy your mind/body?

[Karainbow]

Your ex's don't sound like they are very supportive. I agree with the above post that relationships are about learning. And i think you have learnt that in order to be happy you have to be true to yourself and not do what you think others want regardless of what is right for you, just to make them happy. Love yourself the way you are and so will others.

 

Good luck

[fnlyfrei]

I think a really great relationship takes some back and forth. Some people want the other person just to give, give, give...they act like spoiled brats. And every relationship IS different. Because people are. I wouldn't go hating yourself or beating yourself up for someone elses perceptions. You will eventually find someone, and it won't be so much work..it will just feel natural to be with them. That's the one we look for.