Knowing when to call or not/respond or not is hard

[everythingchanges456]

Hi...It's only been two weeks since I broke up with him. You can read my previous post for some of the background on the break up (though there is so much more to it)....but tonight I'm struggling with how I should be behaving. It's NOT EASY. When I'm out and about during my normal day...it's not too difficult to put it in the back of my mind. For the first few days last week (probably 4 days) when I "threw him out" he didn't call/write. The he text and called non stop and i didn't answer...until finally I had to text back in the morning when he just wouldn't stop to tell him to let me be and that his constant calls were making me mad. The messages were basically all saying "please talk to me." Not I love you and I want you. They said "give me the chance to redeem myself" or "fix this."

 

Then a couple days of nothing. Then a random text or email nothing mushy. Since we own our home together and have home repairs/renovations in process...I need to work with him to get these things complete so we can sell the house. These are the only times I will contact him...and so far it has only been last Saturday...which was the first time in the 10 days at the time from when i asked him to leave that I spoke with him...so as fine as I thought i was...I was crying quietly the entire conversation I kept it mainly to house stuff. I did ask what he wanted to say that he rang my phone all week...he said he wanted to fix things...i asked what that meant...he said to make things like they were before. To be together. I told him he doesn't want that or he wouldn't have done it again when he still had me hanging on even if it was at the time by a thread. He tried to ask how i was...how work was...I told him I wasn't doing that.

 

Then Monday a text from him...about coming by while I was at work (his father coming by actually) to work on the house. We had already pre-arranged this so this text was unnecessary and that's basically all I wrote back. Then a text saying "how are you" which I ignored. Then yesterday and email asking if I saw he dropped this off for the repairs...etc. When I didn't reply by the end of the day...he called/text 4 or 5 times asking if i got the email and if he could call. I wrote back to get him off my back...but when I went to send the email....I realized that there my email will be probably sitting in his inbox amongst potentially the other women in his life and I decided screw that....and I sent it to a different email he has but doesn't use often. He responded by telling me he thought it was "weird" i emailed that address versus the one he always uses. Which in turn made me upset he would even bring suck a trivial thing up....so i fired off one line to tell him that....to which he wrote back twice saying something simple and then I realized as much as i wanted to keep it going to keep contact...I probably had to be strong and not respond. So I didn't.

 

Today he emailed to say "heard there was bad traffic this morning...hope you didn't get stuck in it." I didn't respond.

 

I don't know how I should be handling this. It's hard not to be normal with him. In my moments that I'm sad or mad it's easier...but sometimes I miss him or want the normalcy...etc.

[Locke2121]

You're doing good. You're keeping it as professional as possible. Sooner or later, he'll get the idea.

[everythingchanges456]

I just now checked my email again after writing this. He wrote twice...once to ask if i received last night and today's emails and then twenty minutes later to say...

 

"i guess you dont want to talk to me. i understand. i wish i could take back everything i have done, i truly mean that. i am sorry"

 

 

 

 

 

This is sooo hard...I want to call him. I miss him.

[Locke2121]

This is sooo hard...I want to call him. I miss him.

 

DANGER WILL ROBINSON, DANGER!

 

Do that and you know you'll never be able to get rid of him without a monumental effort.

[renaissancewoman101]

Do you think that he might be really sorry about what he did, and is willing to change? I would give it a chance and talk to him.

 

People do change, esp when they realize they are going to lose something that was good to them.

[everythingchanges456]

I think I know deep down with all the bickering, break ups, lack of passion and now (if you read my original post from a few days ago) THIS...i have to learn that we should NOT be a couple. The hardest part is the thought of NOT having him in my life. But...I don't know that I could be in his life NOT be the most important thing in it...I wouldn't know how to be "one of his friends." I miss him...I love him. I want to talk to him but am afraid of being the fool...he gets to talk to me and is probably still talking to her. I'm afraid if we stay together in 10 years I'll be looking back regretting it. Like I look back now and think how much better this would have been if we did it eight years ago. Maybe we should get together just to talk....I don't know. I think I want an impossibility. I'm so lost...I need an answer book.