My bi-polar g/f has no desire for sex anymore.

[BleedBlack]

Me and my girlfriend of one year used to have an awesome sex life. But about 4 monthes ago she lost her sex drive. There were few moments here and there during the last 4 monthes where shed be in the mood but it only lasted for a day. The thing is, she says it has nothing to do with me and shes still attracted to me. I still treat her just as good as i always have. One reason I though might be causing this is that shes bi-polar, and shes going through a depresion cycle right now, so maybe thats doing it. But it's been 4 monthes with no sex drive. I didn't think it was humanly possible to go that long with no desire for sex. She also said that this never happened to her before, and also that this is the longest relationship shes ever been in. She says that she doesnt find anybody sexually attractive, so it's not just me. What can we do?

[Chris4430]

Hi!

I am kind of confused by your posts, because I had read a post of yours yesterday also... and then you were talking about an ex that you wanted to be with and just broke up with and now you are talking about a g/f you are with now who is bipolar.... I am not sure what to think, if maybe the one you are with now you don't feel good about and you want to be with the ex??? It doesn't matter. I just want to say that I have met some people with that bipolar before, and I know that when they feel depressed that it is normal that sex is not part of their oh, how would I say, when they feel bad sex may just not be part of their day. Here is the deal, you have a g/f with a serious mental condition, you will have to be a very flexible man in this relationship. Bipolar is a disease that is helped with medications and I am sure she is on that, but it is an illness that people have for life because it is an inborn biological disorder. You will have to accept her for how she is, ups and downs, sometimes sex and sometimes not at all....

[sabena]

I have to agree with chris, in that you seem to be a little confused about what you want right now. Your current bf may be picking up on the fact that you are acting differently due to the recent relevation by your ex-gf..

 

I think rather than decide whether or not your currect gf has a problem, you need to spend time thinking about what you really want.

 

Also, talk to your currect gf and ask her if there is anything wrong as to why she doesn't want to be intimate. It could be the medication that she is on, mixed in with feelings that you are not the same bf as you normally are because you are thinking of another girl...

 

You need to clear your mind first and then decide who or what you really want.

[BleedBlack]

Sorry about the confusion, I was talking about the same girl in both the posts i put up, I just thought maybe buy getting an answer to this question, I might be able to know what went wrong in our relationship, because things pretty much started to go downhill after she stopped having sex. Thanks alot for the advice though. I've decided to stop seeing her completely until I get over her. When I am over her I'll call her so we can still be friends. I just don't know what went wrong, because I did everything for her and I knew I would have to be flexibal because shes bi-polar, she said nobody has ever treated her as good as I have. So I'm just really confused right now. But don't worry, theres only one girl in my life.

[Chris4430]

Hi!

Yes, I can understand the situation. It is too bad you feel like you have to break up but it is not an easy relationship... I think that she will appreciate your support as friend, I can tell you that. I think she will also understand what directions you guys have to go also because she understands her situation just as well you. It is just an opinion, but if you have felt this strongly about her, maybe you could just hang as friends for a while to just see how things may change for her or improve in the coming months, perhaps she does need more medicine or what have you. I had done some reading though after I had read what you said about bipolar, and it said that the depressed cycle can go for 6 months or so before that clears up, so that may be rocky for you. It seems like people I have seen with the disorder are OK, but that is all just OK... alot of times they do not experience much up or down because of the medicine. Of course that is ideal but, I think reality is often more complex. All the same, people with bipolar can be wonderful friends, workers, and many things in life. I can understand your feeling for needing to chill out for a while moving into a friendship stage kind of thing. One thing to keep in mind though is even though that disorder is largely biological, people with that problem also are very sensitive so things just get to be a real heavy mix of emotions and chemicals... Whatever you do, do it gently. She would probably be appreciative of knowing that you will be as a friend and your first aim is not to just hook up with another woman. Another approach you guys could try is to talk with a therapist or psychiatrist about your relationship and concerns, perhaps there is something they could do to improve the situation or to help her emotionally if you decide to break up so she has proper support, in fact I highly reccomend it.