NC for 2 weeks

[ryan250]

I haven't seen or heard from my ex in a couple weeks, other then a few texts she sent me. I didn't respond. I told her I didn't want to be friends, or hear from her because I need to move on with my life. Hell, we know she has. I am not being an * * * * * * * for not responding to her text messages am I?

 

We dated for 3 amazing years, and she broke up with me out of the blue because she wants to be "single". Later I found out she is with another man.

 

Her birthday is the 18th of April, should I send her a text "Happy Birthday"? Or should I just go on about ignoring her like she doesn't exist?

[Dako]

What would contacting her do to help or detract from your own progress in recovering?

I'd suspect it would open old wounds.

[ryan250]

I know, but I guess I am to nice of a person.

[jony1234]

I wouldn't bother, stick with NC

[andy5128]

Hi

I'm in a similar situation where my ex gf's birthday is next month well end of May so a while yet. Thankfully I am on the mend and should be even in a better position by then. I would say if you feel healed enough to send it and that you dont expect a reply etc or if you do get one and its a nice thanks or something and you dont read into it and just accept the reply then send it if you feel it is the right thing to do. My ex sent me a birthday text as my birthday was in late Feb and we split up late Jan so in a way would feel rude if I didnt send one! I know it's hard to know what to do for the best but make sure you feel ok in sending it is the main thing..

[b2761]

if you are still at the point where you don't want to be friends with her, I can't see that sending her a birthday message is going to help you continue your healing. If that seems selfish- well, you're entitled to be selfish once in awhile.

[1forthegipper]

ryan250,

 

You have to decide whats best for you and what you feel you're emotionally capable of handling. My advice that I've given to many is that you have to handle your actions with NO EXPECTATIONS!!!! If you make contact with her after a period of NC and you're emotionally stable to make contact and not turn into a pile of emotional mush if she doesnt respond..then I say send it.. But keep in mind, if you do this...YOU have to do it with the mindset that you're doing it for YOURSELF to satisfy your own needs and not for a reaction from her... Understand this would be a kind gesture on your part because it's a special day for her but don't expect her to come running back into your arms and dump her new man. IF you send anything you send a simple short bday card and don't go into how much you miss her,love her etc... You're only sending it to be respectful and to show no ill feelings towards her... You have to feel that and be ok with not hearing from her or acknowledging your card....

 

So be honest with yourself, what are your intentions in sending a bday wish to her?

 

Tha Gipp

[ryan250]

I have no intention of getting back with her, in fact if she tried, I would probably say no.

 

However, I want to send her a simple "happy birthday" because I want to let her know I don't hate her guts (though, some days I do). I would feel like a d*ck if I didn't. Am I being to considerate? I know she wasn't considerate to my feelings when we broke up, that’s for sure.

 

It's hard to explain, but after 3 years of serious dating, not saying happy b-day to her would just hurt me. Plus, I don't want her to think im an @sshole.

 

Weird; I know.

[gokings]

ryan im going throught exactly the same thing like you , but step up and be a man! I consider myself a super nice too, but trust me you need to be tough these days ,why she is not thinking about the 3 years that you spent togather but you do? just move on with no msgs or cards or anything trust me you are biger than that and hey my friend ! dont forget there is karma will hunt her big time ..good luck

[ryan250]

thanks! your post truly helped me. your right, she isn't thinking about me. damn, now i am angry again!

 

thanks everyone!

[Bratinella]

dont forget there is karma will hunt her big time

 

I strongly believe in this coz I've seen it many times....in fact, it happened with all the men who dumped me. Well, tough, I didn't want them anymore when they came back crawling for me after finding out that the grass is not greener on the other side of the fence after all.

 

And so who cares what she thinks about you? Does it matter?

[houdini]

gokings and bratinella,

 

I hope what you say is true about karma. My life was ripped apart by my ex, she basically led me to believe we'd be family with my kids, her kids and our son. Only to rip that away from all of us for some unknown reason at the time but now I know it's because of someone else. These selfish people who only think of themselves makes me angry. I know she did what was in her best interest or for her happiness but what about working on the relationship to make things better!!!!! She just chose to give up and run to something new that she felt was easier to do. Hopefully one day she'll realize that grass wasnt greener on the other side.... Who knows though, maybe she wont!!!

 

Houdini

[ryan250]

](*,) Has anyone else noticed, one day you can be perfectly fine and then WHAM! it hits you. Your depressed, not eating again and get that pain in your stomach, the one that hurts to incredibly bad.

 

I can't help but wonder what she is doing with that creep guy right now. It makes me sick, I think I am going to blow chunks.

 

She told me she will never leave me, and she would love me forever. What a liar. And I am sure, she MIGHT have had her reasons for leaving.. but we could have worked it out. I haven't seen her in 2 weeks, I wish I could just hold her again in my arms. Smell her skin as a cuddle with her all night long.

 

Did I mention she broke up with me over the phone/text messages? 3 f*cking years, and thats what I get.

 

We were eachothers first also, which makes it even harder picturing her sleeping around. I wish I couldn't picture the awful things in my head, but it just keeps replaying over and over.

[ryan250]

Oh yeah, and another thing. You don't know what you got until it's gone.