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Sex changes everything


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I was in bed w a girl, things were getting hot and heavy, we started to get ready to have sex, and she stopped me. She said, 'no, it's too soon. Sex changes everything.' Of course, we wound up doing it anyways. What exactly did she mean by 'sex changes everything?' In my mind, it doesn't have to change anything.

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Some of the things it changes/can change:


You risk becoming a mom or dad;

increased risk of STDs/needing to get tested

in come cases it means the couple has to discuss monogamy/exclusivity

many people get emotionally attached - more so than without - and that is a big change

if there are "issues" in bed you have to deal with those too and it might be too early on to be able to deal with them in a comfortable way (and some of the issues are always awkward but at least if you know each other well you will do better at communicating)

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Protection can fail both for STDs and pregnancy - I assumed you used protection. I assume you're either ready to be a daddy or you two discussed her comfort level with an abortion. She probably did mean the monogamy/exclusivity part but since she decided to go ahead with it you can assume she is ok with it being just casual.

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To some people it doesn't change anything, but when someone says it will change things there's an excellent chance that they are one of the people for whom it's an intimate act that does change the perameters of the relationship.


My advice, don't have sex with her again. Don't back off but go slower if you don't intend to have that close a relationship with her, and don't lead her on in order to get her back in the sack.

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