What do you think???Please Help

[heartbroken23]

Ok, my girlfriend of four years broke up with me last week because she is confused...doesn't know if I am the one. She said she has an attraction to another guy (obviously a crush). She can't be with me when she has thoughts of him. She says we are meant to be, then we will be back together. People say to have no contact, which I am doing. They say that it helps to get over her. My question is what if she ends up getting over me? What if she gets used to me not being there and hits it off with this other guy? Or Could absense make the heart grow fonder? I don't know, now i am confused and worried...if you want more info check out my posts...I would appreciate some opinions because I need to get rid of all this confusion....Thanks

[its your life]

I recently got out of a similiar sitatuion so I can try and help. In this instance you have to look out for yourself. You love this girl, but she isn't sure if your love is true love. Women and men alike all have doubts on whether "the grass can be greener on the other side". You obviously still have STRONG feelings for her. (As I bet she does for you). My advice would be to give her space to deal with things on her own. You have 4 years of relationship together so she isn't going to forget you and things will not be normal without you for quite some time(maybe even a year). I know it hurts not being able to talk, if nothing else you're used to it, but she will respect you for not interferring and you are showing her how much you truly care for her in the long run. So give it sometime, she will probably come to you when has figured things out. Go out and enjoy yourself, make new friends, find new hobbies. If it is meant to be, love will find a way!

[Ccian]

Ok the first thing to do is relax. She is not going to get over four years. How do i know, i was in a 6 year relationship and my girl left me to for someone else and last week she came to me crying and wants to work things out after she cleans out the mess she made. now that was almost 4 months later. The first few months, i chased her, called constantly,, etc,, then i got this book called how to save a relationship when ur the only one who wants too. I also checked out what infatuation really was and yes she was in it. So I will tell u get real busy real fast. Go out have fun, u look more confident and it kind of tosses cold water on them because she is expecting u to be home pining for her. Now no contact, no emails, nothing from u. Only respond if she calls and keep the calls short, no joke less then 10 mins. If not u look needy and conqured. What happens is women see us guys as conqured when we chase. I learnd the hard way. I did not talk to my ex for almost two months, no contact and then now we are talking, and she emails me daily and calls me. Now dont be home for all the calls and if u are, just dont pick up the phone the first time and call her the next day. My ex began calling me last tuesday. I did not pick it up then she called my job the next day. I did not return the call until that night on my way home from work. Dont get me wrong its hard as hell but the sooner u cut her off the sooner u will get her back. I can kick myself for wasting two months of chasing on her.

 

now in the mean time work on you. I been creating the complete package, i been working out, cooking and learning how to be a romantic guy by getting some books like how to light her fire,, etc,,, work on u, and really give her the space she needs. dont let your emotions dictate how u will act or u will lose,, read the art of war that helped me too,,,

 

so get busy, get educated and become the complete package, in no time she will be calling. I have proven that and let me tell you a few friends of mine got the books i told them and got their bfs/gfs/ back,,, no joke, I have been educatecd and this wont happen to me again. My girl is on her way back and I will keep her this time and wont lose her again.

 

stay calm

[heartbroken23]

your advice really helps me take a positive stance. ...I feel a little better and will remain clam. Its hard, but I can do it!! Thanks Again

[adidas7fire]

I was in a similar situation a month ago. Breaking contact with my ex was prolly the best thing i could do because i wasn't worrying what he was thinking about me or whether or not he was with someone else (but i did find out there was someone else). this is a good time for you to find out exactly what you want... in a girl, in a relationship, in life. this is your time to just worry about you. don't dwell on the past because you cannot change it... just try to do things different in the future (if you feel obligated) and keep your head up high. there are plenty of other people out there that are wanting the same things you want. just give it time. take care cand good luck.

[Cecilia]

Well I am in the same situation, after two years he says I am not the woman he wants to marry even when he loves me the most he has loved anyone in his life, but we can´t not work on any project togheter.

 

I think that Ccian is right, but, don't you think that the chasing part is also part of it? ... or it just makes everything worst in the future.

 

 

 

[vampyr]

Ccian gives great advcice.

I've done the same thing. The day after my ex moved out, I joined a fitness club.

That was over a month ago and I've lost 20 lbs. and I'm starting to see the first signs of a washboard ab. I've probably rolled back 5 years on my body.

I also eat alot better too. So I have actually gotten in better shape.. hopefully look better... and feel alot better too.

I've also picked up some cookbooks and read some books about dating women. Anything to improve myself.

 

All this and after a month of not hearing from my ex... she calls me crying about how much she loves me and how much she misses me. I keep the phone conversations short and try not to tell her I love her or miss her (though I screwed that up on sunday when she called). She said she wanted to see me and she would call me a little later, so I left the house.. and sure enough she called and left a message.. then she calls me the next morning.

 

Unfortunately I am starting to lose attraction to my ex because she is so screwed up in the head over what she wants, I don't want anything to do with her.

Heck... she even tells me that she hasn't done anything sexually with this guy she left me for. I think to myself "How long can someone keep lying like that?" I just pity her, as she is constantly lying to herself everyday.

 

Anyhow... Ccian is right... just let her out of your mind and heart, and she may just come back to you. But remember, even if she does come back to you, it has to be on your terms only.

 

"ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS"

[Ace90650]

Hey Man U know what u gotta do. And that's get over her. Believe me I know it's easier said than done. I just broke up with my girl who I was with for a year. She did something and said that made me mad enough to do it. The thing is I did it over an e-mail. Then when I came to my senses it was to late to regain her. The point is if they want they know they can come back. The thing u gotta figure out is do u want her back by the time she's done making up her mind. Will u take her back after she has been with somebody else. And if u do will u be able to deal with the fact that she had to test your love and u didn't. Man I know it's hard these girls they get u so co-dependent then they drop u like a bad habit and we still love them for it. Just do ur own thing man try to forget I know it's so hard to do I'm still trying and will keep trying to forget. It's been over a month but life goes on. Hit me up anytime u wanna talk homie. Late.

[vfunkera]

man this site is soo cool. i just got so much hope and inspiration readin these replys. jus had 2 mention it. thnx u guys helped me out as well