Do you find yourself seeking validation.....

[AwdreeHpburn]

Or is it just me?

[renaissancewoman101]

I am ALWAYS seeking validation from people, friends, etc. I tend to have a very bad self-image and think badly of myself to the point I rather believe in what people say about me, but then if people say TOO many good things about me, I tend NOT to believe it either.

 

Yeah, I seek validation from outside sources. Not a good thing either.

[AwdreeHpburn]

Nice new avvy Ren! love it!!

 

I do too. Its sort of a weird thing and I don't get it but I am always wondering...."do other people do this or am I a freak?"

[addictedblue]

yes i constantly seek validation.

[AwdreeHpburn]

yes i constantly seek validation.

 

How do you and why do you think you do?

[AwdreeHpburn]

Everything OK, Awdree?

 

Sure! Thanks for asking V.

 

I actually asked the way I did to be funny, but I was thinking about it because I really do that. I find myself comparing....myself, to other moms or other wives, or other women just to get validation that what I do or how I act is "normal."

 

Guess I just feel a bit abnormal most of the time or something...I dunno

 

Know what I mean? (

[DropToZero]

nope, I dont care what others think, I'm not out to prove myself to anyone...it's pointless, because who cares what they think, who said "they're" right, and what "they" say is wrong or weird, or normal, or whatever....it's just based off social norms by mass people(and again, who says they're "right"?). Anyways, yeah I had a great time proving that tonight(also kinda risked my job hah)...but no, live free, live happy, live careless of what others do and think about you, you'll be much happier.

[cristal]

I do not care what people think. As long as I have o'kayed it with me.

[rocio]

Nice new avvy Ren! love it!!

 

I do too. Its sort of a weird thing and I don't get it but I am always wondering...."do other people do this or am I a freak?"

 

I've resigned myself to the fact that I'm a freak. I don't seek validation from other people but I'm constantly seeking it from myself. Not that I don't like myself, but I feel the need to prove myself over and over again.

[AwdreeHpburn]

nope, I dont care what others think, I'm not out to prove myself to anyone...it's pointless, because who cares what they think, who said "they're" right, and what "they" say is wrong or weird, or normal, or whatever....it's just based off social norms by mass people(and again, who says they're "right"?). Anyways, yeah I had a great time proving that tonight(also kinda risked my job hah)...but no, live free, live happy, live careless of what others do and think about you, you'll be much happier.

 

I agree - that one could be "happier" in the not knowing part - as they say, ignorance in bliss. But the not caring part? I can do that occasionally....but I think I would DIE if someone said something like, "Oh my gosh!? Did you REALLY just say or do that?" "Hey everybody...look at the freak!"

 

I know, I know - it sounds and IS ridiculous but I DO think that way sometimes.....

 

 

....see - you all prolly think I'm a freak now huh?

[AwdreeHpburn]

Well maybe that's the key HazeyAmber! Maybe I just need to accept that I'm a freak and get on with it!

[ImThatGirl]

I've resigned myself to the fact that I'm a freak. I don't seek validation from other people but I'm constantly seeking it from myself. Not that I don't like myself, but I feel the need to prove myself over and over again.

 

This is pretty much what I was thinking as well.

 

I do need some validation about certain things in life. Things that may be unclear to me.

 

However, most things like my work, children, home, friends - - > I know who I am and love myself. So I may do things a little differently. May make no sense to others. But, I know what works for me. Others may not understand but this life is my life and I've given up on the falling in with the norm.

[DropToZero]

I agree - that one could be "happier" in the not knowing part - as they say, ignorance in bliss. But the not caring part? I can do that occasionally....but I think I would DIE if someone said something like, "Oh my gosh!? Did you REALLY just say or do that?" "Hey everybody...look at the freak!"

 

I know, I know - it sounds and IS ridiculous but I DO think that way sometimes.....

 

 

....see - you all prolly think I'm a freak now huh?

 

 

I didn't say you had to be ignorant, it's okay to KNOW what others think of you, the point is to NOT CARE. Not everyone is going to like you in this world, for one reason or another, -you can't please everyone, so don't try.

 

So..if that person says that, who cares...? What makes them all of a sudden so sure on what makes a person a "freak"? I'm sure she does things personally others dont know about, but they may consider "weird" if she ever did them publicly. The idea is that this is all just based off OTHER's ideas, people believe anything...so what if you can take your full fist and put it in your mouth, I'd think that's cool, others might be thinking of some sexual innuendo at that time haha, but again...it's just all context, and how you view it. (and no, I have no idea if awdree could actually do that, dont ask or accuse lol)

[ImThatGirl]

I've learned that a life of trying to please and appease everyone is very taxing and can lead to severe unhappiness.

 

Is it possible that you actually are feeling anxiety in these situations?

[Grosse vache]

I am a freak. I am in no way normal. thereforeeee, what people say or think of me shouldn't really matter because I already think that I am worse then they say.

 

Yet, sometimes, it does matter. And sometimes it makes me want to kill myself.

[renaissancewoman101]

I've lived most of my life trying to make everybody else happy, but it turn, I've been unhappy most of my life and felt alone.

 

Tis ironic.

[sddeaston]

I am pretty much the same way ren. It's weird how trying to please others, doing something that makes you feel good, eventually hinders you.

 

It's like looking after yourself or stating what you want in certain situations feels selfish to you, or like it would embarrass you. Well, at least that is how it is for me. I have tried very, very hard to reverse this but it is something that is always there for me. My default. Something I am so used to doing that I don't even think about it anymore. Althouth, it has improved a small amount with age.

 

I thought I was a rarity, perhaps I am not as unique as I thought

[ImThatGirl]

Got this email yesterday that listed personalities depending on signs...

 

Mine is this:

The Cutie

MOST AMAZING KISSER. Attractive. Very high appeal. Love is one of a kind. Very romantic. Most caring person you will ever meet! Entirely creative. Extremely random and proud of it. A Freak. Spontaneous. Great telling stories. Not a Fighter, But will Knock y our lights out if it comes down to it. Someone you should hold on to.

 

So the verdict is in! I may as well accept who I am. Just had to post - thought about our discussions of being a freak (as some said) and also about just being ourselves and happy with ourselves. lol

[AwdreeHpburn]

I can put my whole fist in my mouth.

 

Just kidding.

 

Hey - someone gave me a reputation point. It just said, "Here's your validation Awdree! You're tops!"

 

That was sooooo awesome and nice and totally made me feel really good for a whole day! But I have NO idea who it was so I can't say thanks.........

 

So if you know who you are and you're reading this THANK YOU!!