Should I bother waiting?

[zippitt]

So I have wrote before about the problems I have had with my GF and there is some new light, but I am wondering if I should bother waiting.

 

So we started dating at the end of her last quarter of school, after the first month of dating things progressed nicely, we were both really into eachother.

 

I noticed while dating her she gets stressed easily. Even when things where best, stress would cause her to become non-romantic, non-intimate. At this time I was not the cause of her stress.

 

She wanted us to move to the BF/GF status, and seemed to really be into me and had no problems letting things progess quickly, of course I had no objections.

 

About 1.5 months in she started her next quarter of school, nursing prereqs. She was told not to take a couple of classes together because it was considered academic suicide, she did so anyhow.

 

About 2 months in the relationship things seemed off, I started getting irritated about her talking about her school all of the time. I never took anything out on her, but I think he made me feel and act distant in the relationship.

 

Apparently during this time she mentioned to a mutual friend that she felt the romance was gone, and that she felt ignored when she brought her daughter over. I spent time keeping her daughtered pacified and was trying to make a connection to her daughter in order to be accepted by the both of them.

 

Anyway she eventually told me within three day span that she doesn't know what to do and she is overwhelmed. Then to, we should go back to just dating. And then finally to, we can talk when we have time, but there should be no obligations. She basically said she felt bad for me because she couldn't give me her time and the thought of me waiting around stressed her out.

 

I ended up writting her a big letter about how I like her, and she just said she would respond later with something. Well she never did, but I suppose it didn't help in the letter to her I told her I understand how stressed she was and to take all the time she needed.

 

I went to NC until I received something as I am trying to respect her space. Eventually she popped into messenger one day do say hi for 5 min, complained a bit more about school and went to her next class.

 

Part of me just wants to drop it, and forget about it. I am conflicted though as it's obvious she is stressed out. I guess we all handle stress differently as I feel she could spend at least a little time writting me something if she even cared. She will be done in two months, but I feel I am probably wasting my time.

 

If it were you would you wait the two months to see what happens, or just cut your losses?

[MasterT]

You know what's interesting... The more I read about your story, the more I learn about mine.

 

This is the hardest semester my exgirlfriend has ever had. She grew incredibly distant to me for about 3 weeks, then ended it... Stress does things to people. I tried to be there for her and she just kept pushing me away... Sometimes it makes me wonder if the reason she dumped me was simply stress related and nothing else.

 

Sometimes it makes me wish I knew the answer... But I know that doesn't help me. I wish I could give you some advice on what to do, but I'm just as lost as you are right now.

[friscodj]

Hey zip-

 

My feeling here is that a relationship with anyone is not a priority for her. Given her goals, pursuits of such, and her propensity towards dealing with stress how she does, I'd say you are better to leave this one alone. One lesson I have learned is when her romantic interests shift to feelings of sympathy for you, forget about it. It's done and you are better off sparing your self-esteem by making the decision firmly and completely to break it off given your hopeful desires and attachment to the situation.

 

It is apparent to me that she was slowly distancing herself this whole time, from wanting a relationship, to "just dating", to "just talking with no obligations". I think the relationship just reached it's expiration date. No one's fault, just not there, a casualty of a difference in life stages, focuses, timing, and circumstance. You both tried but it just didn't happen.

 

I don't see the underlying issues which caused the distance and split changing. I've dated focused, driven, overachieving woman like this and you think it's "just this semester" but it isn't. It's them, who they are, where they are in life, where they choose to focus their energy. She IM's you and what does she talk about? School!

 

She's long gone with the pedal to the metal towards her career and her best interests I think. Better to get out of the way I think or become road kill on this one.

[zippitt]

Yeah I figured as much, just had to get a second opinion. Sometimes I think my closest friends are too biased with their similar relationship issues to give me an honest answer.

 

The best part for me is the last ex let me relearn how fun it can be to be single, I am looking forward to parts of that again.

 

Thanks for the advice

 

-Zip