Men V Women : Cheating & Promiscuity

[caro33]

Okay I'll share what I believe, for what it's worth. I guess I am referring more to the OP's posts as well.

 

I wouldn't have a clue if men or women cheat more, but I do think there are aspects of our biology and culture that would affect the rates of cheating. However, these issues may well cancel each other out.

 

I have tended toward believing the cliche that men can separate sex and love more easily than women, but I also am well acquainted with the various exceptions. However I am prone to thinking that anyone who can separate sex from love is more likely to have more sex with more people. Not that that means cheating exactly, but I think it gives more opportunity to those who want to cheat. Just as actual opportunity does.

 

I think that if you have two populations of people who are prone to cheat or be promiscuous, and the only difference is that one population goes out and meets more people than the other, then the more social population is more likely to have opportunities to meet people and hook up. I'm not even differentiating between men and women here.

 

But perhaps to make up for those men who can easily separate sex and love, there are the women I am familiar with who confuse the two so much they'll bonk guys with little judgement, because they want someone to love them and they think sex is the way to a man's heart. This can thereforeeee be evidenced as promiscuity relative to the more conservative or careful types, or it can be cheating, where the person is prone to cheating (the character issue).

 

I keep hearing about how wild young women are now compared to when I grew up and it's a little scary. There seem to be pockets of girls gone wild which may have existed in the 80s/90s but not with the same..err...exposure. The exposure in turn makes this behaviour seem more "normal". Maybe some younger people (women?) are more promiscuous today than they were before, but I don't know how those wilder types reflect the general female population. Maybe there are just rootrats out there now for girls like there always were for boys; it's evened out, and there are still lots of other young men and women who keep themselves chaste in comparison.

 

My own personal view is that a 20 year old who has done it with 20 or so people is not being very good to him or herself. If they keep up at that rate, how many people will they have been with by 40? What makes them do it? What about sexual and emotional health? I am not a fan of promiscuity for men or for women, but I think that for women it can often be more dangerous because most women I know align love and sex to some degree. The women I know who slept around have tended to be more damaged by the experience than their male counterparts.

[Royltnxile]

women are just as likly to cheat as men are, it depends on the person, not their gender.

 

 

This simple statement should have put an end to this thread because it's absolutely 100% accurate!

 

However, from my observations and experience I would have to say that I think women are more likely to cheat for the simple fact that women seem to have far more issues in the areas of self-esteem than most men do. I've seen women with low self esteem and in need of validation who don't think twice about cheating on the guys they are with. I do think men and women are drawn to cheat for different reasons.

[SexySadie7]

Well... boughs.. I think you cannot say that all women are this way: "through my experiences... girls do something worse than cheating... its called manipulation and backstabbing."

If I wanted to be that judgemental, based on the experiences I've had with some men, I could say that men to the same.. only it's called manipulation, lying and then complet amnesia!"

There's too many men out there that treat women like trash. They lie and scheme, flatter and cajole to get into the girls' pants when they hardly know the guy... then after the girl gives into his demands, she's suddenly history."

Of course, I don't really think all men think this way. Just the dirtbag guys are like this.

I really don't think decent men treat women like this, but unfortunately, it saddens me to see that this has become a popular way for young men, and not so young men to treat women in our society lately.

I think alot of it has to do with the media images and messages we receive all the time now. Casual sex has become as popular and prominent as oral sex used to be. Now oral sex is kinda old hat and anal sex and threesome and promisciousity has become the new "it" thing to try!

i think alot of whether someone will cheat depends on lots of things, opportunity sure, being one of them. Men do the asking, , and unless you are knock-down gorgeous or the guys in your area are sex-starved, women generally have less opportunities than men.

Alot of time, I see that if the person, had a parent who cheated on their mate, they are more likely to cheat too. Sometimes, it's just the opposite, though, because that person has been traumatized by the cheating, and wouldn't impose that kind of emotional abuse on some one else.

I think too, if someone's needs aren't being met, or they don't feel appreciated, they will much more inclined to cheat, regardless of anything.

I knew a couple, the woman was model-pretty, and the husband, while decent looking, not as good looking. He was the one who cheated. You had to ask yourself, why would this guy cheat when he had such a beautiful gorgeous wife?

i am not sure of the answer to that. I knew the wife's family well, and the parents were faithful to each other. I do know, that, she would always point out nice looking guys to her husband though when they were out and about!

Her argument for doing that was... well, i'm married, not dead!

Well, i think it got to his self-esteem after awhile and he cheated on her to beat the band. It was sad to see cuz they just had a young baby, but I could kind of see why he felt neglected by her, as she was making these comments not long after they got married. Where is the respect in that?

He seemed to treat her well, and I think he felt very fortunate to be married to her.. but you gotta think.. after awhile that would take its toll on your dignity and self-worth.

People are funny creatures.. Yeah.. we need food and shelter, sex, etc. but we are also very complex on what we need/desire for our emotional needs too.

If these are left neglected, people often go elsewhere to fill them.

[Grosse vache]

Some men sleep around.

Some women sleep around.

Some men treat women like crap.

Some women treat men like crap.

 

There is no "more likely"

There is no "less likely"

 

I know a guy of 20 that has slept with around 60 women and thinks it's great.

I know a girl of 20 that has slept with around 60 guys and thinks it's great.

I know a guy 0f 28 that has slept with 2 women and thinks it great.

I know a girl of 27 that has slept with 2 men and thinks it great.

 

See how it goes?

[gixer]

Thanks for the replies guys and gals.

 

Some very good points have been made and it would seem that most people think that both sexes are equally capable of cheating and promiscuity, and I agree with that. However I still think that there is a difference between being capable of doing it and the actual act of doing it, and when it comes down to the actual physical act of cheating and promiscuity then I still think that men do it more, even in 2007.

 

However I do accept that the reasons for this are largely down to social attitudes and, to a lesser degree, biology. For instance it would be interesting to see what, if any, differences there were if derogatory words for women who sleep around such as sl*t, wh*ore, sk*nk etc etc were banned and society's attitude to promiscuous women was one of complete acceptance.

 

That said though, even if this were the case I still believe biology would play a big part in both sexes attitude toward cheating/promiscuity. At the end of the day we DO still tend to act on our primative animal instincts, hence why most women are still most attracted to alpha males and men are most attracted to submissive females. Call me old fashioned but I still believe that good old testosterone means that men will always "hunt" lots of females and females will "snare" a good man. These natural instincts do and will continue to affect our attitudes in the pursuit of sex, and consequently, love.

[doyathink]

I have more difficulty with my friend's belief that women have no more loyalty these days than men when it comes to sex and relationships. If that is truly the case then I think society could suffer meltdown within a few generations as no-one will trust each other, family values will evaporate

 

Seeing how the divorce rate is soooo high now days....I think your statement above is already true. I think I'm entitled to sleep with whoever I feel I want to...regardless of what others think.