gixer

Thanks for the replies guys and gals. Some very good points have been made and it would seem that most people think that both sexes are equally capable of cheating and promiscuity, and I agree with that. However I still think that there is a difference between being capable of doing it and the actual act of doing it, and when it comes down to the actual physical act of cheating and promiscuity then I still think that men do it more, even in 2007. However I do accept that the reasons for this are largely down to social attitudes and, to a lesser degree, biology. For instance it would be interesting to see what, if any, differences there were if derogatory words for women who sleep around such as sl*t, wh*ore, sk*nk etc etc were banned and society's attitude to promiscuous women was one of complete acceptance. That said though, even if this were the case I still believe biology would play a big part in both sexes attitude toward cheating/promiscuity. At the end of the day we DO still tend to act on our primative animal instincts, hence why most women are still most attracted to alpha males and men are most attracted to submissive females. Call me old fashioned but I still believe that good old testosterone means that men will always "hunt" lots of females and females will "snare" a good man. These natural instincts do and will continue to affect our attitudes in the pursuit of sex, and consequently, love.

Yeah I see what you are saying. I guess what is a perfect relationship for one person is a nightmare for the other. Its all down to taste and personal background I guess.

Ok, one of the primary reasons I posed the question is because I have a friend who has embarked on a relationship with a girl. Now this friend is a serial cheat who also believes that women are not much better. The girl who he has been seeing was someone he knew of long before they got together. In the past they have had conversations where the girl admitted she had cheated on a previous boyfriend. Now since my friend is a serious philanderer he now refuses to trust this girl and consequently keeps drilling it into her head that she is "just like him". Consequently instead of having a proper relationship they have something more approaching a f-buddy one. Now this would be fine and dandy if both parties were happy with the arrangement but the truth is the girl is actually very smitten and would like the relationship to be proper. She is also adamant that, providing she could trust my friend, she would not cheat but he wont have any of it. He says she is a natural cheat and will always be that way. I'm on her side and believe she would be faithfull to him but he wont entertain it!

Dont get me wrong, I dont think anyone ever cheats and then says to themselves "I do it because XYZ has happened to me, or I am an XYZ type of person", ie looks to make excuses for it but I guess I'm just looking from a psychiatrist's viewpoint! If someone cannot be faithfull in a perfectly good relationship then surely something is wrong somewhere?

So was this girl insecure at the time?...or was she stable and confident enough in herself to be fully in control of her actions?

So are we saying here that there are some women who are incapable of being faithfull in a relationship?...and if so are there no particular underlying psychological reasons for it?....because for sure there are men out there who seem to be inclined that way. Or are there some/lots of men out there who are somehow psychologically damaged?

I'm not arguing!...just saying that it's what I hear a lot! And whats worse is that these same men think they are doing nothing wrong!

Maybe you are right but, like I say, I have met so many men who have girlfriends who are also capable of getting other women, and they have no shame in doing so. When I ask them why they do it they say that they 'cant help it'. I have yet to meet a single solitary female who does/says the same.

Do you mean by this that women kid themsleves that they are comfortable with casual sex in the same way as men??, because if you are then I tend to agree with you.

Yeah, I thought it might light the fire with some people I agree about the double standards thing, and I *generally* would not judge a girl on the amount of partners she has had, but I do know of some girls who have recently slept with 6 different men in the space of a month, and I cant quite work out if I find it distastefull or if I'm simply jealous! To be honest when I read forums such as this one I cant help but think they are a bit of a twilght zone and not in touch with reality, because most of the men I know are cheating swines whilst the girls are loyal and devoted so I do have a problem with my friend's somewhat sexist and hypocritical views that women cannot be trusted!

So what is an 'extreme' number? If a girl has had 20 different partners by the age of 20 is that extreme?

Hi guys, another newbie here! I enjoy reading these forums but had to post this question as it is eating away at me, having become close with a group of 20 year old girls, and I need your opinions on it! What's your views regarding men and women and their attitudes/instincts towards sex, promiscuity and cheating? The reason I ask is that I have a male friend who is absolutely convinced that women are exactly the same as men when it comes to the likelyhood that they will cheat on a man, are just the same when it comes to wanting sex with as many different partners as possible and that girls in general in cannot be trusted. I dont agree with him! Now dont get me wrong, I am no prude and yes this is 2007 when a woman is entitled to as much sex with as many people as she wishes, but my belief is that the old instincts that have driven men and women are exactly the same as they have always been, ie men have a natural predatorial instinct to have sex with as many women as possible, even when in a good relationship..whereas women have a much stronger natural instinct to be loyal and committed to one partner. Sure, a girl (especially a young girl) will like to experiment sexually and have as much wild, filthy, passionate sex as possible but to them it is fine if that sex comes with simply one man. A bloke however likes all of that...and then wants to do it with ten other women too! Am I right or am I simply being naive? Also, whats your views on women having sex with a multitude of different partners in the same manner as a man does? Do you regard these girls as * * * * * */sluts or is it a case of women finally being allowed to express themselves fully as a sexual being? If you met a 20 year girl and she told you she had already had 20 different partners would you be alarmed or impressed or neutral? My view is that a girl, in theory, is entitled to have sex with as many men as she wishes but in practice there has to be a line where she keeps her self respect whilst still having a damn good time! I have recently met 20 year olds who have had these amounts of partners and it does seem to be increasingly the norm these days. Now I have to admit to being slightly fazed by this but I guess I have more difficulty with my friend's belief that women have no more loyalty these days than men when it comes to sex and relationships. If that is truly the case then I think society could suffer meltdown within a few generations as no-one will trust each other, family values will evaporate and the human race will wipe itself out! Waddya reckon guys? And it would be interesting to get some girls views on this too!