the dreaded were on a break for now thing!

[SeaBisquit]

hello, I started seeing thia guy and we actually were living together for a short time. We got into a major fight one night. One of my friends told me that he cheated on me. I got really pissed off and I punched him in the nuts. I told him to take all his stuff and move out. He moved out and later I found out that he didn't cheat on me at all. That my friend was lying because she likes him and wanted to break us up. He says that it's not over between just that he needs a break from now. my question is 1. Can he get over the fact that i punched him? 2. Can a guy forgive me for kicking him out?

[arwen]

Hey girl,

 

I think that a lot happened in a short time here. How long were you together before he moved in and how old are you guys? Your friend pulling a trick like that is REALLY childish. She is not your friend. I can imagine that your bf is really upset about what happened, he was falsely accused of cheating, then punched and kicked out of the house. If I were you I'd leave it for a bit to give him some time.

 

Are you still friends with the girl who started this? Frankly I think you should explicitly end this friendship.

 

Arwen

[Meow18]

Honestly, I don't know. He's probably really hurt that you would mistrust him that much.

 

Of course, your friend did a really bad thing. But I guess this should be a good lesson that you need your own proof before you can go accusing somebody of doing something so horrible.

 

If I was your boyfriend, I would not take you back. Of course maybe I would feel different if I was actually in his position. But I would be really hurt over what happened. And punching a guy there is never ok.. in fact, punching at all is not ok. So, I would be a little upset about that too.

 

Also, if you were still talked to this friend of yours, then I would definitely not take you back.

[Meow18]

Like Arwen said, give him time to think. Respect his choice for needing a break. He probably has a lot of thoughts going through his mind..

 

Think if the positions were reversed. Would you take him back if he accused you of cheating, hit you (I don't think it's more wrong to hit a girl than it is a guy), and then kicked you out?

[SeaBisquit]

We have been talking about it. He is pretty upset and doesn't understand why I hit him. He says that if I love him i wouldn't have done that. i told him i was sorry. that is really all i can do, I aploligized for everything.

[Locke2121]

I"m sorry, but I laughed my butt off when I read that.....course your friend has done a terrible thing. Course, I don't think you can call her "friend" any more.

 

I'd make sure your boyfriend knows exactly what has happened. And buy the poor guy an icepack with a big "I'm Sorry" card attached to it...and hope the poor guy has a sense of humor!

[SeaBisquit]

locke, to bad for me my brothers has always taught me to go for a guys balls if they ever decide to hurt me. it may be funny, but true!

[arwen]

Hey girl,

 

Well, you can't turn back time. You are genuinely sorry, and unfortunately you can just give him time now. I don't know if the relationship can grow past this, I really hope for you it will. I think it's very hard if you are a trustworthy person and get accused of something you'd never do. Just give him time. Maybe write him a letter in a while, in which you describe all you are feeling about the situation and that you understand you are the last person he wants to see. Then write him that you'd really want to work through things if he wants to, and that you will leave him alone if he wants that.

 

Arwen

[lady00]

Give him space and time to remember the good parts of the relationship. Don't contact him or put any kind of pressure on him...let him come to you. As for the punching...that is a huge problem. It's not okay to ever hit anyone unless they hit you first and you must defend yourself. I think you really need to figure out why and how your anger led you to physically harm him. It may not seem like that big of a deal right now...just one punch...but it is a really big deal to deliberately harm your partner in any way, no matter how upset you are. Even if he had cheated, that would not justify hitting him. I think you need to figure out how to avoid expressing your anger like that ever again.

 

As for the relationship, like I said, just give it time, give him the space he has asked for. Let him contact you and be friendly and receptive. Let him lead the conversations. Most of all, listen to him, let him express his hurt, tell him you understand why he's upset and that you're really really sorry. Tell him you're willing to do some soul-searching and get help so that you would never strike him again for any reason.

[therealshrek]

if a gal believed her "friend" over me and then punched me in the jewels, yeah I think its time to call it quits. trust issues = no thank ya.

 

but i do hope things work out for ya. maybe you should take some anger management classes

[lady00]

maybe you should take some anger management classes

 

I agree. There may be something deeper than just your anger at your bf this one time that you need to explore and figure out how to deal with better.