Ahh Questions!

[jorgehorge23]

Hi everyone,

 

I have been checking this site regularly the past couple of days and I really like the advice people are giving so I'm hoping everyone can help me a little bit.

 

Lately, I have girls call me sweet names in school (college), but the problem is those girls are taken, so I don't put much weight on their 'sweet talk.' I am however a bit concerned as I feel like I'm being treated like a baby, and don't know exactly how to take those (although I appreciate the compliments and they do make me more confident).

 

However, I met this girl a few weeks back and I know for sure she is single. We both have similar personalities as we both smile a lot and I love making eye contact with her and she seems to be responsive. My problem is that she is already working while I'm still in school (one more year). I feel insecure about asking her out becuase of this (she is older than me, but I usually hang out with friends who are older anyway).

 

So my questions are:

 

1. Why do girls flirt when they are not single? Does that mean they are attracted to me or just playing with my head?

 

2. Am I setting myself up for failure with the girl I talked about since she is ahead of me (in terms of career)?

 

3. I'm naturally introverted, but I'm working on becoming more outgoing. Is being introverted necessarily a bad thing?

 

Thanks

[emit_remmus]

1. Everyone that is outgoing and beautiful likes to flirt with everyone because its the social thing to do.

 

2. That shouldn't matter.

 

3. No, but you won't be getting any much. The more you get out there and try to get some the bigger chances you have of getting a lot more. I'm not talking about just sex, I'm talking about love.

 

Look at it this way: Do you see lots of couples around you? Don't they piss you off? Why? Are you jealous? Then go get someone. Now when it comes to asking a girl out. Just talk to a girl, if its good conversation, ask her out to coffee then get her number. The rest gets easier from there....

[Locke2121]

I would like to say, you can turn introverted into a plus. Its called being mysterious. By using a shy smile from time to time, you seem like you have something to hide. Alot of women like just a touch of mysterious in a prospective SO. Just don't take it to the extreme!

[blueangel]

I would like to say, you can turn introverted into a plus. Its called being mysterious. By using a shy smile from time to time, you seem like you have something to hide. Alot of women like just a touch of mysterious in a prospective

 

I actually agree with this. It doesn't matter what you say (only at first) except if you make a LOT of eyecontact. Make sure your eyes are smiling.

 

The most important thing is to carry yourself with confidence whether you are introverted or extroverted. How you carry yourself displays true mystery because girls then wonder, "What makes him so comfortable with himself?" and they will really want to know, whether they act on that wondering or not. It is a rare thing for a person to smile often and hold themselves high no matter what.

 

Just don't take it to the extreme!

 

Quite important to note about being mysterious!

 

Lastly, I used to be an introvert and the thing about introverts is that we can sometimes go too far inside our minds and become extremely analytical...and this paralyzes our outward actions. My solution formed slowly and it came from having to learn to just speak my mind even if I fear my mind be too deep for people at times, too silly, or awkward or stupid. The less you care about how you sound, the less you hold yourself back.

 

It takes putting yourself out there. You'll find that to do this is simpler than it seems. Pick whatever pops into your head, whatever thought you think of while someone else is speaking- however deep or shallow your thought seems- and voice it. Pick a memory, pick an opinion or voice your reaction. Often us introverted people don't let our thoughts out but that's what it takes to let people in.

 

Often, we are pushed back by a barrier of fear that we have built ourselves. You have to disallow yourself to be so self-controlled and in your body language and conversation, relax and let go.

[MushroomGod]

1. They may be playing with your head, they may not be fulfilled in their current relationship, they want to use you as a back up, and finally they just like the attention.

 

2. Your setting up yourself for failure by basically saying she's better than you because she's out of school. I'm sure she doesn't care about it at all. If you keep "putting her on a pedestal," you're gonna fail no matter what.

 

3. Nope as long as you are social at the right times. I'm not introverted so I can't really comment.

 

Have confidence in yourself man. For the girl that's out of school is concerned, to put you at ease, she went through what you are going through and is on;y one year removed for it. No big deal at all.

[jorgehorge23]

First of all thanks for the replies. I never thought you can turn being intoverted to being mysterious. I need to work on this one but I think that confidence factors in a lot. I guess being a confident introvert goes a long way compared to just being an introvert.

 

 

1. Everyone that is outgoing and beautiful likes to flirt with everyone because its the social thing to do.

 

So how can you really tell if someone is interested before asking someone out? are there signs out there the girls give out to make it obvious that they really like a guy?

[MushroomGod]

First of all thanks for the replies. I never thought you can turn being intoverted to being mysterious. I need to work on this one but I think that confidence factors in a lot. I guess being a confident introvert goes a long way compared to just being an introvert.

 

 

 

 

So how can you really tell if someone is interested before asking someone out? are there signs out there the girls give out to make it obvious that they really like a guy?

 

Everyone is different so you have to go for it without a obvious signal because sometimes there aren't any.

 

Just go into it like they are interested and if you get shot down, O well her lose and try again.

[ghost69]

1. women love messing with guys

2. shouldn't make any difference

3. usually, women like outgoing guys