when you start talking to a girl.....

[heloladies21]

But thats the thing, she knows I like her in a romantic way and I think she's trying to play with my emotions or something. I like people being straight to the point instead of dancing around situations....I want her to tell me how she feels so I either keep pursuing or leave her alone, why make a complicated thing hard, I don't understand honeys sometimes...

Well she can't give you definite answer on how she feels about you because she hasn't made up her mind about you. It is very much possible that a girl will play with your emotion, not enough info for me to say for sure but I doubt that is what she is doing.

 

She can't help what she does, this is her natural reaction. Just accept it and learn how to work with it.

 

So feel free to go home. If she calls you back while you're already home, just talk to her on the phone for a bit. Flirt with her, make things fun. Make her want to talk to you again! Then when you get back you can try and set things up again.

 

In the meantime while you're at home, let's get you some other girl's numbers.

[cingularity83]

Well she can't give you definite answer on how she feels about you because she hasn't made up her mind about you. It is very much possible that a girl will play with your emotion, not enough info for me to say for sure but I doubt that is what she is doing.

 

She can't help what she does, this is her natural reaction. Just accept it and learn how to work with it.

 

So feel free to go home. If she calls you back while you're already home, just talk to her on the phone for a bit. Flirt with her, make things fun. Make her want to talk to you again! Then when you get back you can try and set things up again.

 

In the meantime while you're at home, let's get you some other girl's numbers.

 

 

HAHA....nice, I finally understand what you're saying. I'm probably taking things too seriously. Well it's been nine hours and she hasn't called back yet, so I've already made plans to leave for los angeles tomorrow.....I'll just talk to her when ever she calls I guess..

[txblues]

When I'm interested in a girl, I assume that she's also interested until I hear otherwise and act accordingly. With my current gf, we hung out a few times, I made out with her one night. We hung out a few more times and things just kept proceeding physically. There was no option for friends, either she was interested in the same or we stopped talking.

 

The way you want to do it makes it seem like you want to negotiate a contrat with her. It takes all of the emotion out of you the situation and girls are turned off by this.

 

There's this girl that i want to hangout with more. I've been in email contact with her after meeting her once about a year ago. it was on her hint that i visit again. which i did. when i went there and called her on a friday night to see about saturday she said she wanted to hangout and sight see the city that day. i call her late saturday and she told me she tried calling to see if i could do come out to dinner with her friends. well we met late saturday and had a lot of fun at the club, flirted alot. though we don't talk on the phone much she tells me to call her when i visit again. how do i maintain this momentum to let it proceed from hangingout to something more? what signals do i look for? what signals of interest/flirting do i give off without getting too far ahead of her comfort level? she lives far away. so it makes it difficult.

[ghost69]

it's usually in the eyes. that's how i tell. if she looks away a lot, she is either shy or not into you. you need to figure that out. if she keeps eye contact, always good.

[txblues]

i've never noticed her looking away the times we hung out. in fact i was the the one being shy and looking away from her eye contact. i think she's the confident type.

[spiderman_56]

dude , you are stressing way too much over this .. counting the hours she hasn't called you back .. * * *

Well with women you have to take charge and lead , you have to make decisions, do not make excuses for your desires as a man. The girls out there some of them will be very clear and very easy to understand and some of them will be a nightmare to pinpoint what they want ( to determine whether she is into you or not ) , never ever panick or stress , keep your cool in all situations.... unless it 's a blatant NO , acquire the response as a yes and proceed accordingly.

 

what is that ? u shy away from eye contact ...dude there is no woman in this world who should make u shy ! I'm not saying stare like a robot but dont be scare of holding the eye contact

 

go to L.A , chill with the boyz , have fun ... you r stressing yourself too much for this case.

[cingularity83]

well here's update,

 

I still haven't heard back from her after I called her and left a message asking her if she had any days off this week that we can go out. So now you see the type of person I'm dealing with. Not even a call back for 30 sec. at the most to say sorry, I can't go out this week I'm busy.....I'm glad I came home, though. At least I got to eat my mom's good cooking, and I 'm treating my long time friend to movie and a dinner since his b-day was just two days ago, and I feel bad cuz he always does something for me for my b-day. As for the girl.., do you think I'll be considered a mean and rude person if I don't talk to her anymore.

[heloladies21]

Don't be so mad. She's just reacting to the situation that she's presented with. She's looking for the best guy out there, so we just need to keep improving your skills so that she can see it.

 

Put it back on yourself, ask "What could I have done better to show her I'm the man." It's not mean not to call her anymore, but it's not a good idea to ignore her calls. If she tries to contact you, do not get mad at her. I usually tease a girl if she doesn't get back to me right away. Let her know you're not a wimp, but also let her know that you are not phased by it.

 

In the meantime, other girls await.

[cingularity83]

I just saw an e-mail from her sent last night, saying she's sorry she wasn't able to return my call and that I shouldn't worry it wasn't only me, she said she's been sick the past couple of days and couldn't eat, sleep or hold any food in. She also wrote that right now she just dosen't feel like talking to anyone......

 

Thanks alot for your responses Heloladies, it's kept me level headed.....

 

I'll think about the next course of action to take and just proceed with caution from here on out as far as I'm concerned with her. It's snowing here, so I doubt I'll be running into any honeys to talk to, but I think thats my problem.... when I talk to a chick, I only like talking to one at a time, and I think thats why I tend to stress over it so much if it dosen't work out.....I think I'll start talking to multiple chicks now so I can handle situations like these easier next time...

[cingularity83]

I forgot to add,

 

In a situation like this, would e-mailing her back today seem like to early to respond since she sent the e-mail last night, or should I respond tomorrow.....I don't want to respond too early and have her thinking one thing, and I don't want to respond too late and her thinking another thing.

[ghost69]

it's an email, so no.

[omayra]

I think you should tell the girl that you like her and see where it goes from there you nerve know cause she can have feelings for you also.

[heloladies21]

She's being straight with you so play it straight with her. Email her back right away.

[ghost69]

i have no idea why people take so long to reply back to things. the whole waits 2-3 days thing is stupid. if you like somebody, hit em up.

[cingularity83]

I guess the honey is still sick and dosen't feel like talking to anyone. Anyway I replied back to her e-mail in a casual way saying I hope she feels better and that she should take things easy and get some rest....

[ghost69]

i'd forget about this girl at this point.

[cingularity83]

i'd forget about this girl at this point.

 

 

Yah, I've pretty much made up my mind, which is something I should've done a couple of months ago actually....she forwarded me a text last saturday that was just completely rediculous, my sister thought it might've been a joke... because it was forwarded, so my guess is that she didn't even write it ( which I'm glad because then I would have thought she was psycho ). seeing as she never called back or reply to my e-mail wishing her well, I didn't even feel the need to react to the text. I threw away her no. so theres no chance of me calling her again, I was going to take the high road and talk to her if she calls, but that's useless, some people just don't deserve ANYTHING, and right now my time is precious to me.

[Batya33]

I think it's fine that she declined to date you - that is her perogative and I would avoid getting all cynical about it or thinking of her as a bad person just because she didn't feel the same way. I forget all the facts but I don't think she promised to go on a date with you and then didn't show up. If I remember, she suggested she might have time to see you at some indeterminate point in the future, that's all and now she has changed her mind.

[cingularity83]

I think it's fine that she declined to date you - that is her perogative and I would avoid getting all cynical about it or thinking of her as a bad person just because she didn't feel the same way. I forget all the facts but I don't think she promised to go on a date with you and then didn't show up. If I remember, she suggested she might have time to see you at some indeterminate point in the future, that's all and now she has changed her mind.

 

 

I do not think she is a bad person, if I did I wouldn't even had wanted to talk to her in the first place, so I don't know where you're pulling that one from. The way I see it NOW, it's actually more my fault for all this....I made up my mind not to talk to her and a month passes, she sends me an e-mail saying sorry she got busy and I bit the bait and started communicating with her again, and this is where it all led to. I just said I wouldn't waste time or energy on someone that I don't need to But I never said she was a bad person, nice one though Batya33...

[Batya33]

"I was going to take the high road and talk to her if she calls, but that's useless, some people just don't deserve ANYTHING, and right now my time is precious to me."

 

I thought you were referring to her not deserving anything. Sometimes people misinterpret typing. You might want to keep that in mind if you e-mail women for dates.

[cingularity83]

"I was going to take the high road and talk to her if she calls, but that's useless, some people just don't deserve ANYTHING, and right now my time is precious to me."

 

I thought you were referring to her not deserving anything. Sometimes people misinterpret typing. You might want to keep that in mind if you e-mail women for dates.

 

 

Yeah, but where in that line did I say she was a bad person. I choose who I feel like giving my time to, just like she does. But I 'm over the girl right now and just do not feel like talking about her anymore. Knowing me though, I just don't have the heart to be impolite to people, she'll probably send an e-mail in a day or two saying sorry she's been busy and I'll start talking to her and end up with what got me there in the first place.

[Batya33]

I read your post as commenting that "she doesn't deserve anything" as if you felt her behavior in declining to date you was bad behavior.

 

I wish you luck and the best in however you decide to proceed with this person.

[cingularity83]

I read your post as commenting that "she doesn't deserve anything" as if you felt her behavior in declining to date you was bad behavior.

 

 

No, not really...I'm sure she has her reasons for feeling the way she does. She did tell me that we have nothing in common as she's a vegetarian, and i'm not, she smokes, and I don't, she has a certain taste in love and slow songs and I don't, but I didn't feel like those were huge to me. But I guess she values those things though, so it's perfectly Ok.

 

Thanks Batya33.........

[Batya33]

You're welcome and this is all just part of dating - win some, lose some. Been doing it on and off for 25 years and so far have survived nicely with mostly good experiences.

[cingularity83]

wow......I finally get a call from the honey two weeks later, I missed the call but listened to the message. She says "hi this is *****, haven't talked to you in a while so I'm just calling to say hi, bye." At this point I don't even know if calling her back is the right thing to do. And this is why I'll never understand chicks, it's obvious she's not interested, so why call two weeks later? if you don't want somebody talking to you ( especially if it's a guy that shows he's interested in you, you don't play around with his feelings. ) It's not like we're friends or anything, she's just a girl I had a class with last semester.....