I feel so bad

[xoxkatyxox]

well i am 14 years old and my ex was 15 and we go to the same school and we dated for 11 months. we really loved eachother but i felt myself growing a apart from him...during a fight i told him that i love him alot more like a best friend than a boy friend, he broke up with me saying that he doesnt want to be in a relationship where my feelings for him are unstable...well for about amonth the only contact we had was the hi and smile when we see eachother in the hallway. but last week he asked me if i still liked him and i said no and i asked him and he said that he still loves me and i asked him why he asked me all of a sudden and he said that he didnt want to live his life with regrets and didnt want to think about that what if for the rest of his life. and i feel so bad because hes been nothing but good to me. he never prssured me for sex and after 11 months all we did was he fingered me with his hands in my pants and make out. hes always thought of me before him and always cared for me. the thing is though weve been talking like friends for the past few days but he just looks soo sad when we talk and hes getting really depressed and he tried to cover it up around other people but i know him better than that and he used to be the life of a party with his friends but now hes always quiet and hes always getting high and one of his friends ttold me that he told him once that he does it because it makes him forget about me and the break up while he is high.his same friend also told me that he thinks that a part of the reason i grew apart was because he never innitiated things liek sex and that stoppedus from getting clsoer but the only reason he didnt was because he knew i was uncomfortable with it. i feel so bad. do you think that if i gave our relationship another chance it would change?

[Stu147]

Hi Katy,

 

It seems like you broke up with your guy for valid reasons, that you didn't feel you loved him anymore and that he had become more like a friend to you. And you don't mention any real heartbreak for you after the break-up, so it seems like you were ok with your decision at the time.

 

Now you hear that he is missing you a lot and is getting high to forget his troubles, and it's natural that this upsets you. And you feel a little guilty for hurting him. But you have nothing to feel guilty for Katy. Relationships break up, it's a fact of life, especially so when you're young. You were honest and up front with this guy, you didn't cheat on him, you didn't string him along. You told him the truth. If he genuinly loved you then of course he is going to hurt for a while. And he probably lacks the maturity to deal with it in the most constructive ways. But he WILL get over it in time, and he will bounce back.

 

What I am trying to say is don't go back into the relationship out of guilt or sympathy because then it will not work and you will regret it. If you really feel you want to be with him and really think it can work then ok, but otherwise you would just be lying to yourself and him and that's not fair on either of you.

 

He will work this out, and he will be back to his usual self. He just needs some time to work it all out.

 

Be strong, and take care...

[intotheocean]

Girl you are only one year older than me, and your being fingered! Thats nasty!! Even I know I shouldn't be dating (i don't want to grow up, that fast!), relationships at me and your ages typically don't last, sorry but it's kinda true!

[xoxkatyxox]

Girl you are only one year older than me, and your being fingered! Thats nasty!! Even I know I shouldn't be dating (i don't want to grow up, that fast!), relationships at me and your ages typically don't last, sorry but it's kinda true!

 

all i can say to thatis that youve obviously never beeen in love before