Calling all men...and women in similar situations...

[needopinions]

GQstatus...I grew up with the exact same thing...and it has not affected me one bit in my adult life either...in fact i probably respect my dad more than any other person on this earth.

 

finding things like playboys did not scar me...if anything it probably made me a more open person sexually.

 

apparently i'm doing wrong by living with my boyfriend and my son while not legally committed...I guess i should cancel the showcase chanel as well...or all primetime tv for that matter...so that my son doesn't see anything untoward...heck I might as well cancel everything but the cartoon channel!

[needopinions]

Batya33...I have to say that I've come to the realization that you are a woman with very strong views on certain things...as am I.

 

To be quite honest with you, it bothers me that you think some of the things that you think...I feel like you have a negative impression of what kind of person/mother I am without knowing the whole story.

 

My son is the MOST important thing in my life and I would never do anything to hurt him or scar him in anyway...I will only do what's best for him...which is what I'm doing now.

 

So please don't pass judgement before knowing the whole story...I'm willing to defend my actions and if people still think that of me then so be it. No one is a perfect mother or wife or daughter...but it doesnt mean they should be scrutinized without the scrutinizer knowing the whole story.

[Batya33]

Needopinions (like your screen name choice!) - I am sorry but I am baffled. I wrote in response to the previous poster that I disagreed with what he said in general and I sent him a private message -- I am not sure how that becomes passing judgment on your situation.

 

I understand you don't agree with what I posted above quite awhile ago, but you asked for opinions, if I recall, and I gave mine. As far as specifically responding to your last post, I choose not to here because I already shared my opinions and from your response it doesn't sound like it makes sense to continue the discussion (if you would like me to respond, of course please feel free to PM me and I will respond but other than that it doesn't seem to make sense to, I hope you understand).

 

With respect to my "I disagree" response above to the previous poster, I did so only because the poster initiated the issue again, and, since my comments only applied to the topic at hand generally and not specifically to your situation, I believed a private message to him was the right way to go, since otherwise it might be "off topic."

 

Thank you for sharing your opinions of me and my character. I respectfully disagree with your opinions. I wish you the best for you and your son. I hope this ends the "conversation" but of course feel free to post whatever you wish or to send me a PM.

[needopinions]

I'm sorry...like i said i could only read the first two lines of that post as i could only get into your posting history...not that actualy post. so, if it wasn't about me personally i apologize...just seemed like it was as (from what i can read) it mirrors my situation of living with my boyfriend and son and not being legally committed.

 

i guess i just felt like you were passing judgement on me without knowing my full situation...and maybe i'm wrong about that.

 

i understand that people have differences of opinion all the time...that's the way life goes. i hope there are no hard feeling between you and i and i'm sure one day there will be things that we both agree on.

 

i'm the type of person who takes things VERY personally and i guess i felt by your posts in this thread that it was an attack on me and i apologize if that wasn't the case.

 

i have put some thought into your opinions on this...some of the things made me think...but i still come to the same conclusion that i am not doing anything to hurt or scar my son...maybe when he's older i will handle the whole situation differently...but for right now i don't see any harm in what's going on...what he doesnt know wont hurt him.

 

maybe we can just agree to disagree and not have any hard feelings?

[Batya33]

No hard feelings at all. Again, I am glad it is all working out so well and all the best to you and your family.

[CallingAllAngels]

My husband started out "innocently" looking at porn. While I did not like it, I looked the other way.

 

I found an odd looking charge on our credit card in December, and called to question it.

 

The woman on the phone was very forth coming...explained that they are an "adult web site"....that husband has had his "account" for a year and 1/2. (Guess I never looked at our bill that closely!) Their site works like this:

 

There are hunderes of women with profiles on this site. Men go thru, and find one they like. They then invite the woman into a private room. They are able to see each other and hear each other, via web cams. (We don't have a web camera, so, the woman could not see my husband, BUT, he could see and hear her.) The man tells the woman what he wants her to do. Each woman charges her own "fee". If the man accepts the fee, she will do what he asks, and, depending on how long he is in the room, money is deducted from his account.

 

She gave me all the dates and time my husband was in "rooms" with women.

 

When confronted, he denied the whole thing. It was not until I started quoting dates and times that he admitted to it.

 

Porn can become quite a problem!

 

Oh..and I should add, one week later, I found out he had an affair.

 

That, on top of the on-line prostiution was too much for me, and, we are no separated.

 

He sees nothing wrong with his actions.

 

Just my 2 cents...

 

~Allie

[daveygravey]

Allie I am so sorry to hear this. But please don't believe that all guys have the same desires for other women as your ex obviously did. Most guys I know will watch a bit of porn now and again, but that's it -- no chatting online, no paying for private shows, and certainly no affairs! And the fact that he sees no wrong in his actions says a lot about his mental state of mind - not normal!!