Whats wrong with my Ex. Girlfriend?

[badja]

I'm sitting here absolutely shocked at how many girls are exactly like my ex. I broke up with my gf on Monday so its almost a week and we have had a bit of contact. She is so similar to the girls being described in this thread!!!!

I caught her flirting with 2 guys over text messaging of which one was an ex. She stopped talking to the ex and I forgave her and moved on and then this past weekend she had been flirting with some random!

She has not stopped contacting me since I broke up with her and the majority of the times I just ignore her, and have made the decision today to not speak to her until I feel ready to...

 

She messages me about how she is working on her issues and is not gonna lose me forever and how she is gonna make things right,etc...

 

Its ridiculous how she behaves,really selfish I think! She had me and messed around and now I'm not there and she tells me how she needs me in her life!

 

Madness!!!!

[annalise23]

Just read what you wrote Badja, I too am enperiencing the madness! I keep getting messages, emails, flowers, all kinds of promises to make this work. Now we are over. Where was this before? He says its because he see now what has been ripped from him, that he now knows how much he loves me...

 

 

It is hard. He has even said he would go to counseling. All this effort. I am worried that if i go back, it will be bliss but then ultimately go back to how it has been. As much as he says its changed.

 

How do you feel about her now she is making that extra effort now?

[macgyver4ever]

Crimson,

 

I broke up with my ex 6 days before Xmas and did not talk to her until she called me Xmas morning. She started crying and telling me how sorry she was and how much she missed me. At this point I thought I was going to come back to see her in a few weeks and we would work this out. That wasn't the case at all. She continued to see him and talk to him. In the middle of January I had taken enough disrespect and neglect, and I told my ex not to contact me until this other guy was out of the picture. 6 days later she calls me telling me she made a huge mistake and she wanted to spend the rest of her life with me. That she loved me and wanted to have my babies.

 

The VERY next day she calls me to tell me she was still going to spend the entire weekend with this other guy, and not me. I got upset, and because I got mad she decided she didn't want to be with me. We tried relationship counseling the following weeks but it was too late. My ex had given up and had already moved on with the other guy.

 

After it was decided that we were over, she did not contact me in any way. I called her after day 16 to cancel her cell phone.

 

 

My ex is 24 and extremely immature for her age. She will not accept responsibility for anything and does not want to make adult decisions. Our relationship worked because I would help her make decisions and lead her to the right choices, but this help I gave her ended up sending her to this new guy. The new guy lets her do whatever she wants, whenever she wants, and she loves the freedom. The bad part is that she is making poor choices and hurt a lot of people in the process.

 

Sometimes it takes losing what you had to really understand what you had. For me, I am realizing that what I had wasn't as great as I thought. At first it seemed like the end of the world, but it isn't. No on deserves to be treated like many of us have been.

[crimson k.]

(macgyver) your breakup situation sounds exaclty like mine. My gf was very immature, she makes poor decisions and i had always helped her and guided her. Makes me wonder why she did not see this and went with the other guy anyway.It was so bad that when we went to restaurants she would take like fifteen minutes(or more) to decide on what she wanted, but the waiter or waitress would become annoyed because i would take about 5 minutes and she would take so long and have about 5 choices that she just couldnt decide on so i had to usually talk her into one. well, my ex was contacting me after we broke up and i guess she decided to just drop me once things got serious with the new guy she was seeing, right now she is enjoying herself going out every night and being free. BUt i know her insecurity will get in the way of this because i put up with a lot of her insecurity issues that even her ex bf stayed away from and broke up with her because of them. I know that her poor decision making is going to hurt her someway or another and as of right now, i feel like i really didnt have something so great. just a big problem that i got released from. i know that there will be other girls out there that wont have these issues as bad as my ex did.

[macgyver4ever]

The problem I am having (and I think you are too) is that even though we know our exs were not perfect for us, we still loved them and accepted them for their faults. We feel hurt and betrayed by the person we loved most because not only did not decided to not accept our faults, they think they have found someone else that is better than us.

 

My ex is so stubborn that even when she realizes she was wrong she won't come back so I need to accept it is over and for the best. Our exs aren't trustworthy enough for our undying love. If they wouldn't have cheated now, they would have done it later. Their insecurities have the best of them, and until they address this it will consume them and their relationships. These people won't take our advice to get help, they will need to hit rock bottom and need to get it on their own.

 

The part that sucks on my end is my ex hit rock bottom once before. She learned her lesson before she met me and had changed into this great girl. Her mistakes and poor choices for friends have brought out the worst in her again, and there is nothing I or anyone else can do to fix it at this point. She's getting close to the bottom again, but won't be there for another few months. By then the damage will be so bad that I don't know what will happen. It won't be good.

[badja]

My ex too is very indecisive and would always rely on me to make choices for her and us...

 

I've ignored her contact today and although this past week has been horrible most of the time, I think I am slowly beginning to realise what a selfish disrespectful person she is.

 

Annalise, I don't know how I feel bout her effort to not let go and to fix her issues!I guess I'm very hesitant to let her near me at the moment because I am pretty sure she says she is putting a lot of effort into herself but is actually doing nothing substantial about it. Unfortunately she is not a strong willed person and is not very sure of herself so she too ends up continually making the wrong decisions in life.....

With your bf sending gifts and telling you he wants you back,I think it would be best to keep a clear mind and don't let his words and gifts overshadow whats happened...take some time before you make any decisions.