crimson k.

(macgyver) your breakup situation sounds exaclty like mine. My gf was very immature, she makes poor decisions and i had always helped her and guided her. Makes me wonder why she did not see this and went with the other guy anyway.It was so bad that when we went to restaurants she would take like fifteen minutes(or more) to decide on what she wanted, but the waiter or waitress would become annoyed because i would take about 5 minutes and she would take so long and have about 5 choices that she just couldnt decide on so i had to usually talk her into one. well, my ex was contacting me after we broke up and i guess she decided to just drop me once things got serious with the new guy she was seeing, right now she is enjoying herself going out every night and being free. BUt i know her insecurity will get in the way of this because i put up with a lot of her insecurity issues that even her ex bf stayed away from and broke up with her because of them. I know that her poor decision making is going to hurt her someway or another and as of right now, i feel like i really didnt have something so great. just a big problem that i got released from. i know that there will be other girls out there that wont have these issues as bad as my ex did.

it kind of disturbs me, in the beginning where you said you dropped this new guy(ed) to go back to your ex because you were wondering what had happened between you two and because your parents wanted to see you married. I think your bf has the right to become upset with you about Joe, you admitted that you would want to be be with him if you were single, except this Ed guy is holding you back. Yeah, youre personalities match, but i thought ed was sweet, supportive and showed took you out. based on what i read you sound exactly like my ex gf. My ex gf left me because she wanted attention, i gave her plenty of attention verbally and physically. I have the feeling you kind of want both worlds, but to me that doesnt seem right. My gf lied to me when she went out with this guy from work and he ended up becomeing her bf in two weeks. why? i found out from her friends that i was "controlling" and i wouldnt let her be "free". i dont thin any guy in their right mind let their wife/gf hang out with another guy unless they knew that person was emotionally strong. my ex gf, is an attention seeker and she is very insecure and emotionally unstable. if i were you id focus more on the bigger picture than whats happening now, you know i could give you so many angles in which to look at this: here are two, break up with Ed and just go out and have fun with your friends whether they are guys or girls. yeah, you wont have the EMOTIONAL support from Ed when you get home, but im sure you can develop this with a close friend whether Joe or a female friend. Second choice: Understand that going out with another guy makes Ed uneasy, would you let Ed go out with another woman? you say you have an insecurity problem and i bet that would bother you, try to see it from his view. Tell Joe,"im sorry but i respect how my bf feels about you" . wouldnt you want to have fun and go out with your bf than another guy? also, if you know in your heart that you wont fall into temptation with him, whether it be kissing or worse, try to convince Ed to show him you are strong. if he suspects you are weak emotionally he will feel uncomfortable, also what is scary is that you would want to be with Joe, if Ed wasnt your bf, you kind of have a desire for another person. I bet that would break his heart if he knew that. Maybe a third option is to not be with both and just really think about who you might hurt, who will be happy. my gf was like you and i really tried my best to keep her, but her desires to have fun overpowered her reasoning to have a good relationship with me. i never called her a * * * * *, but as of now i think of her as one because she was talking to this guy at her work and i found out she was dating him.just take some time off, if you want to go out and have fun maybe you should be single. Take care and i hope you make the right decisions without hurting Ed. hope he said he was sorry. if Ed is really into you, you shouldnt have to worry about anything, you have someone that really loves you. I played a huge impact on my ex gf life and she still cheated on me because of her desire to be free, even though we always went out and had our own good times. be careful.

(savanna) there was just a two year age difference between us. I was born 12/26/1985 and she was born 12/5/1987. When i met her i was 20 and she was 18 and when we broke up she was 19 and i was 21. youre most likely right about that relationship immaturity thing.when i met her she had about 6 months of high school left and then she started going to the community college im going to, we had one class together and she stayed for two semesters before dropping out to raise money for a car. (macgyver) how long did it take for your ex to contact you (after you broke up)? did you do no contact which made her want to talk to you or....? ive gone 8 days already no contact, she hasnt tried anything, i know she is avoiding me because she knows how much it hurt me for what she did.

(devast) no, i would never take her back because of what she did with that guy. Right now she is pretending i was never in her life even though i was there for her prom and winter dances, was with her for she gother drivers license, graduation party and any other big and small event of her life when her ex boyfriends just used her for sex and money. I feel used and cheated by her. but I would like her to just remember me when her new "relationship" blows up into the sky and that guy isnt there for her like i was and she MIGHT realize her mistake if she hasnt already cheated on that guy. Also, i would like her to come back and be my friend so she can see how happy i am without her, because its been 8 days now and i feel great, and there are plenty of fish in the sea without her insecurity/ mental probelms she has. That would be good!

Good post Devast, you sound like you were in my situation!! My ex gf does need help because she cheated twice on her ex bf before me, I knew about the first time she cheated wehn i met her and the second one i found out when i was with her after 3 months and i became so scared of her. she promised she woulndt hurt me. Around the first time i was dating her i also found out she had a thing for my cousin too, but he liked someone else so she backed off. The thing is with her, she doesnt care WHO the guy is(could be anyone regardless of looks), if that guy pays attention to her and she wants that "freedom" of a new love shell go for it. She wants to feel loved. Hasnt been without a boyfriend for the past 4 years. She tells lies every so often, little lies mostly, but what would stop her from lying about bigger things which she later did. She never lacked attention when she was little though. IN fact, it was the opposite. Her parents spoiled her badly. They gave her what she wanted to eat, bought her everything, and they ask her if shes "ok" "how she is feeling", her parents, strangers, and parents friends are alway all over her.Her parents still treat her like she is nine, but she has her own personal space from them at times. She has very good looks, natural red hair, almost perfect smile, bright eyes. She is an attention seeker, that got attention like crazy her whole life. IT eventually went to her head. in her mind she once told me, she thinks she is ugly and beautiful at times.

I thank you all for your help and opinions. Overall, i have the feeling she'll always remember me because of the great things i did for her.Right now she may be having a great time at first, but ill most likely find out when that guy pulls his nails out because my cousin talks to her friend. She most likely has some kind of problem by shifting through boyfriends every so often. I just feel bad for her in a way and wish that she could rely on me for help, but she has moved on. I would never take her back because it tore my heart up due to what she did. I think about the good times we had, but i too have been looking at other women lately. Ive had days to think about my situation and came to the conclusion that she was just being selfish to just pretend im not alive anymore like she did. im 21 and there are some nice looking gals that i could meet and become friends with that ive seen when i go run errands. This experience will most likely make me stronger in the sense where ill be more persistent in confronting my gf when i see soemthing wrong. To heloladies, i did talk about my problems with her but she would always deny it so over time i wouldnt say anything to her. Thanks guys and gals if anyone else has anything to say , please chime in

yes, macgyver you speak the truth. Its been five days without any contact and we were best friends before it went down the gutter. She went back to becoming best friends with one of her old girl friends ( i guess for emotional support since that was my job). I noticed that she wanted me to feel worthless over her because the day after we broke up i went out with an old friend of mind, and she tripped out on me. "i guess youre having so much fun wothout me" kinds of comments. I sounded all happy and she got mad at me for that and she said more sarcastic comments. She is such a hypocrite because she was out having dinner with her family. She actually called me to check up on me because i was at car show at the time. When do you think i should call her and say the whole speech in which you sound very happy to get her thinking? Where did you read about that PErfect plan Match II?

I stopped all contact with her and its been five days. I will never take her back. We had shared so many great memories and we were always together. It just shocked me when i found out she moved on so quickly. Macgyver you are right on everything especially the part in which they just want to be free and have fun.(no boundaries). I found that out because my cousin talks her friend. When she found out i knew she went on a date with that guy, she stopped contacting me, and then i was told by my cousin that she knew it would break my heart for her to tell me the truth. my ultimate goal though, is for her to realize in time that i would probably be the best guy for her, because i never took advantage of her like her past bf did and due to all the good and romantic memories we had. In a way, i want her to comeback to me and face me, but i would never take her back because of what she did, i would be an idiot if i did. Would she ever want to talk to me again and remmeber me?

My ex girlfriend cheated on me with a guy from her work recently. She is one of those girls that if there is something lacking in the relationship she’ll not feel “loved” and she began looking elsewhere. She cheated on her boyfriend before me twice because of he wasn’t paying enough attention to her. Also, she is an attention seeker where she fakes being sick so people can be all over her, and she is very insecure(also, she even began “seeing” ghosts). She even told me that she has always had a boyfriend for the past five years. She would ask me why I loved her every now and then even though I clearly showed it by telling her verbally, and through my actions. I always knew in the back of my mind that if I wasn’t good enough for her she would leave me, and she would always promise me that she wouldn’t. Right after we broke up, I wanted to take her back, but to my surprise she insisted that she didn’t want to(was confused). Then I figured out she had been talking to this guy at her work that knew her from the past and he became her boyfriend within one month. I found out that they go out all the time and are all over each other(kissing). I also know that when she finds out the flaws in this guy she will become distraught from him and look for someone else, I just know it. Also, I was the best boyfriend she ever had in her whole life because I put her on a big pedestal(did so many special things together). I have a couple of questions, did she most likely leave me because she has a history of cheating and because she was selfish and didn’t consider my feelings(maybe wanted to feel new love)? Also, what happens to girls like that who stay with their bf for about a year then quickly find a new guy every so often and automatically start having a good times with them, ie. Kissing, holding hands, eventually sex to feel that she’s loved? What kind of problem does she have?(psychological condition) Right now, she tries to act like I never existed and she didn’t even tell me she was cheating. I found out on my own. Also, may she realize what she lost was really good when the good times end with her new boyfriend and perhaps may want to talk to me again or will she keep leaching off of a new guy in a never ending cycle? What kind of problem is that attention seeker thing she had going on too?(seeing ghosts, faking being sick). How bad her was her insecurity? Could she be thinking about me while out with this guy as in comparing the things I did for her (she always told me I was the most romantic guy ever)? I dropped all contact with her when I found out she went out on a date with him. Thanks for any replies, just trying to understand things better