Let me know what you think please

[Dan629]

Hi everyone. I posted on here about 2 months ago when my ex-g/f broke up with me. I nearly lost my mind when it happened and strongly considered suicide at times over it. However I have been doing better recently. I've been dating different girls now. Focusing on myself in the gym (and doing very well) and spending more time with my family. But... I still love her to death. I still want her back and I don't even know if she is right for me anymore. We stopped talking for about two weeks and then she called me the other day. We have been talking almost every day since and tonight she stopped by. I thought I was finally getting over her and was able to be "friends" but it killed me when I saw her again. She was very nice when we talked and saw each other. She even asked what I was doing the following night because she might want to stop over again. But at the same time she showed NO signs of wanting to get back together or date again etc. It's so weird. One of the reasons she left me was because she wanted to start hanging out with her friends more and meet new people. But even though she doesn't seem to want "us" back right now I can tell she is still in love with me. She told me she has been dating other people too which kinda hurt. I am just confused. Should I just tell her I am not ready for this and tell her not to come over or should I try to go with it and see what happens? By the way for anyone who was wondering, we were together for 3yrs before we broke up and she was my first love and the first girl I slept with. So she is very special to me because of that. Any advice is appreciated. Thanks

[Wandering_Sword]

BTW, I love the avatar

Anyhoo, if you're not comfortable don't push it. You might ultimately resent her or worse, beat yourself up even more. Either way if it is no benefit to you, don't do it. Be willing to go as far as your comfort level takes you.

[tylercdurden2004]

Read the above bolded please. Does any of this add up?

 

I didnt think so.

 

I am going to be very blunt with you. You need help. Considering suicide because a girl dumped you is not healthy. You feel hurt naturally but most of it you are doing to yourself.

 

First off girls who love you do not walk away from you. They do not risk losing you.

 

Second love and relationships are 2 different things. Just because you love someone does not mean you should be together with that person. Love and relationships are not mutually exclusive. You could be in love with a heroin addict but it doesnt mean you should marry them.

 

She is playing with you and getting what she wants. Someone who fawns over her and at the same time the freedom to choose someone "better". Take that power away from her and get your own power back.

 

Again you are doing this to yourself. Stop it.

[Dan629]

Well thanks for the advice and I am sure u are right about most of it but about the suicide part... It wasn't just because of her breaking up with me that made me consider it. But like I said b4 that was in the past.. about a month ago.. I already realize it was a stupid choice and nothing is worth taking my life over.. thanks for the advice tho

[tylercdurden2004]

I realize that the suicide is not about the girl. It never really is. t may be that she was the straw that broke the camels back.

 

She is bad for you and you need to get away.

[Dan629]

Also I do agree with what you said about her taking satisfaction in knowing she has me on a string while she goes about her life dating who she wants and doing what she wants.. I think if I shut her out of my life completely it would be the best thing like you said.. Its just so hard. She is my best friend and it hurts not to be in contact with her. Do you think I should block her number from my phone? Or would that seem a little too harsh? I love her to death but I feel like she may be playing games with me. And I know you showed how I was kinda all over the place in my post and that is because I am obviously confused about everything.

[tylercdurden2004]

Shes your best friend. but guess what? your not hers otherwise she would be straight up with you and not do what she is doing.

[Locke2121]

Excellent point!

[Dan629]

I guess ur right.. the truth hurts.. lol

[tylercdurden2004]

Yes and all too often peoples egos get the best of them and they avoid or are blinded to reality. The best way to get to the bottom of things I have found is to bottom line things. That is look at actions as opposed to words.

 

People can say all sorts of great things but at the end of the day its the actions that matter.