trying to be honest with myself

[ooten]

Its been two years since we broke up. Haven't talked in 5 months since I sent her an email and she didn't respond. I did write my ex about the girl I was dating at the time but my ex has asked about her before. I think the only thing I am holding onto is that she was so upset to hear about all the fun we were having travelling that she couldn't bear to write me back.

 

I know this can't be the case. I am not living in reality.

 

I am single now. Should I just get it over with and tell her that I still love her or something a bit more subtle? I just need to hear from her that I am a complete afterthought. Or has she already told me this with her actions? What the heck do I do?

 

Also I think the whole idea of NC has built up false hope for me in a way that she might miss me.

[Wandering_Sword]

Aye, there's the rub. You went NC with the hope of her coming back, but that was never supposed to be the case. NC is a way for you to distance yourself from the grief and pain. During that time, healing and self-discovery should have been on your agenda, not trying to get her back.

In response to your question, if you feel that you need that extra kick in your pants (aka, closure) by all means spill your guts to her. But I recommend that you don't bother and try to focus on yourself instead. It's been two years since you guys were together, I think it's high time you start moving along and don't analyze anything that is another big no no. Good luck and keep strong. We're here for you

[Me and myself]

Or has she already told me this with her actions?

 

I've learned, through the relationships I had, and by my own actions too, that sometimes what you see is not what it seems. And I also know that the only way to know for shure is to talk about it or get it demonstrated by honest and true actions.

Just like you, my first period of NC (one month, which ended by sending her an e-mail telling her to stop contacting me if she has nothing more for me than friendship) was motivated by trying to make her miss me. This is a natural way for things to happen but I think I was a lucky guy because, in spite of this "wrong" motivation, I was able to look for my relationship and understand what have I done that might have contributed for the ending of it. And I was able to tell her my findings. Now I'm in the second period of NC (one week) but, this time, I'm having the "correct" motivation since she made clear she considers me only as a friend. If i didn't have "forced" her to tell me what she was expecting from me, by sending her that e-mail, I would still be hanging on to false hopes.

What I would sugest you, if you feel the need to tell her that you still love her, is to send her a letter telling her that. Focus the letter in your person only, your feelings about what happened, your actions, why did you have done them....

[heloladies21]

You've healed to the point where you you can address the issue. Feel free to give her a call and be very blunt about the way you feel and what you're looking for. That way you'll know what her true intentions are for real.

[papalazarou]

Spot on Helo.

 

Cut the b/s. No more beating round the bush. Politely but assertively state what you want. If she doesnt want to reciprocate then at least you can move on.