Crippling Butterflies

[JasonQ]

I am for the most part outgoing and do not have a problem talking to people. I really dont. I can go on and hold a conversation with someone and not think twice.

 

When it comes to girls, different story. IF I have never met the girl and this is the first time seeing/talking to her, then I will be mostly fine.

 

If I see a girl I like, or find attractive, it is a no go. I will go introvert and clam up. Just cant talk to her or even find the most simplest thing to say.

 

I have become to the point that I get very sick when I think about even trying to make the slightest move. Im not even sure why...

 

I have been on ONE (semi) date, and I ended up throwing up.. You can only imagine how I felt. Only after taking two weeks to get the courage to get her to go with me... It was horrible.

 

I dont dare going out to eat... I cant do it.. even if I have an attractive waitress, and my friends (who are always trying to hook me up) are there... I get sick.

 

I dont know how to overcome the crippling butterflies. They make me sick and get the best of me.

 

 

Now... Heres the deal. There is this girl at the local Wal-Mart (I know it sounds... odd -- but I have my own thoughts on that) that works there and I find her somewhat attractive and I would love to even somehow chat her up. It wouldnt even have to end up in a date or anything... Heck just for practice. But in the long run, it would be cool to get hooked up with her.

 

 

Anytime I have such an issue, I can normally end up finding what I could have said... you know 20/20 hindsight?

 

Right now I cant even think of a way to start a conversation with her. ANY WAY AT ALL!?

 

What can I do to get rid of the crippling butterflies and how can I talk to this girl at wal-mart.

[Blackhawk2009]

wait so a u like a girl at a wal-mart? easy way to talk to her would be to just ask her a question about something. Or my personal favorite "which in your opinion would you prefer?"

 

i find talking to girls in stores is the easiest because you have a legit reason to talk to her, start by saying like "hi can you help me with something" and then maybe say something on the side, or make a joke.

 

I get the butterflies too a lot, esp. around girls I like, but this is a good way to meet people

[JasonQ]

Yeah, at Wal-Mart. I know it probably sounds low-class to some people for some reason. We should all know by now that Wal-Mart is a necessary evil.

 

The problem is I just dont know how to make it sound like I am not a creep. I would know that I am not talking to her for help... as that is the cover... I really need help because I want to talk to her and have no other reason. Its weird... I know I am overthinking this...

[Locke2121]

Blackhawk wasn't putting down her job Jason, calm down. Hawk was pointing out that you already have half your problem solved. This girl is USED to people coming up and talking to her. So its real easy for you to break the ice by just asking her a question about something in the store. Then, when she's answered your question, pause, throw out a big smile and start talking about HER.

 

Your not a creep, your an interested fella. Just go for it....oh, and don't eat anything before you talk to her! No barfing on her shoes!

[JasonQ]

Oh no... I never meant for my last reply to be charged... I understood what he is saying... That comment was more coming from myself... because it sounds weird to me saying that its at walmart... its more me being an idiot... or looking for some sort of way out perhaps.... I dont know..

 

No, I never meant for it be taken like he was slamming. I was just trying to find some sort of justification for myself or something... Its me thinking out loud or something. You get what I am saying....

 

 

Anyways.. you see I could surely ask about a product, but getting further than that would be the issue... because I really dont know how to transistion from the legit question to small talk. That is where I freeze up and get the instant butterflies...

 

I mean, how do you go from: [question about product] to "so would you like to see a movie this fri/sat?" or "do you have an email address" or whatever.

 

 

And lets say some miracle happens and I talk her into a date (then i go buy a lotto ticket) and she agrees. I surely cannot go eat... because I will get sick. I could probably barely make it thru the movie without getting sick.. I dont know why.

 

Could it be possible to overcome the initial shyness by overcoming the sickness (or as I like to call them the cripping butterflies)