My Impulsive Friend

[one_old_broad]

How do you tell a friend she's going way too fast in her relationship without ruining the friendship? My friend is in her late 30's, never married, and she's planning to marry a guy she's never really dated, just hung out with in group situations. He's either in his late 30's or early 40's, is still married (to wife number 4!), and, according to my friend, he's everything she's always wanted in a man and more. As soon as his divorce is final, if his wife doesn't hold things up, she says she knows he's going to propose to her and they'll be married in the fall. He's going through counseling with a clergyman, who is telling him to break off the relationship and give himself some time before he gets involved again, but obviously this isn't happening. I suggested that my friend go into counseling as well but I don't think she's going to do that. I don't want to stick my nose in where my help isn't wanted, but I care about my friend and this seems to be a trainwreck waiting to happen.

[Meow18]

Unfortunately, all you can do is offer your advice. Let your feelings known, but don't push it on her because you don't want to push her away.

 

I think she's going to have to learn this lesson the hard way, and she will need a good friend at the end of it all.

 

If she's still going to choose to go through with marriage with this man, then what can you really do but support her and be there for her when she does get hurt?

[Batya33]

Agree completely. You can only ask for advice if she asks. What you can say is "I want to be there for you but I cannot listen to you talk about your affair with this man - it upsets me too much. If you want advice or want my input on where you can get appropriate advice, feel free to talk about that wiht me."

[Jetta]

Woah, sounds like this guy runs when the novelty wears off. Well you've already told her how you feel all you can do now is be there for her when he dumps her for the next one.