itsallgrand Posted February 20, 2007 Share Posted February 20, 2007 Quite in shock. Just got back from having coffee with the fiance and live in of my ex. Ex....who was playing us both for a long time. Even though I was moving on from him - I didn't expect this. It's a blow. This day has been nuts. Too many deceptions and lies and betrayals. I feel physically sick. I feel especially sick, knowing, he hurt two of us. For so long. Lying about the most sacred of things. And she is a much worse place than I to recover. She lives with him. She got fed all the lines I didn't. Marriage. Family. Babies. He is the worse kind of loser. And I wasted so much of my life with him. Blind as a bat. I need to grow up. The self pity and doubts got me here. I couldn't see. One of Robowarrior's inspirational pep talks on when life gives you a blow, keep slugging back and living would be great. I looked him in the face and saw a selfish selfish man. Without regret or understanding of the damage he has done. And it makes me sick. I could only express myself bluntly, and even that much seemed too good for him. I didn't cry or get angry. I just said what was on my mind. To hear it outloud. Know it is real. It was for me. I found myself my worse nightmare in him. And I walked away from it tonight with my head helt high - walking away like that felt good - yet completely drained dry. Of all the times for this to come out, this is the stupidest time. It is like he baited for it. With the simplest efforts, he could have avoided it all and no one ever would have known. I mostly just want to puke. He doesn't have the right to do this. To tear at people's lives. To toy with them as though they meant nothing. He is weak. I am stronger. I've been through worse than this. Quote Link to comment
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