Update on oddball guy...did i overreact?

[BrokenHeart82]

I wrote yesterday about my guy of 2 months who wanted to be exclusive but not ready for "emotional committment and giving every moment to eachother" boyfriend/girlfriend thing.

 

Then a week later he intro'd me as GF and gave me the wink wink hand squeeze. I havent brought the BF/GF thing up at all since it happened two weeks ago.

 

He is fighting for full custody of his infant son and to file papers this week, also busy with work (we talked about this last we spoke).

 

Soooo yesterday he told me he'd text but no word for 3 hours after "text ya in a bit!"

I send a text "you okay" and get "call ya in a bit!"

I go to my class and then its about 9 so i call and he sounds sweet and says "hey babe! can i call you right back?" I say sure...i know he had the baby that night so i texted

"Listen, i know you have the baby tonight and an early morning, just calling to see how youre doing! If you give me the address id like to stop by on sunday"

 

30 minutes later he texts "I definitely want you to come down!" (his parents house)

 

This morning he text me the address and says "thanks for being so understanding, i will tell you all about whats been going on the last two days, i really miss u!"

 

So was i overreacting and he is just in a whirlwind with work, taking care of his son, and trying to get custody? Also did i come on too strong last night?

[Batya33]

I think you called him too much. Also, you need to find out why in the world he would think that being BF/GF means "giving every moment to each other" - never heard of that as part of being in a relationship, whether BF/GF or marriage.

[kellbell]

Hey there,

 

See, I knew he wanted you to come by his parents' house and if you stated clearly what you wanted (via text you sent) he would respond.

 

I don't think you over-reacted at all. You were concerned and wondered what was up. It does sound like your boyfriend has his hands full. Perhaps let him know, whenever he needs you, you are there for him. To talk, to vent, to help or what have you and leave it at that. Believe me, it is enough.

 

But also, maintain your own life, your own interests and hobbies.

[BrokenHeart82]

I agree i called too much...normally wouldnt be how i wouldve reacted...week moment I suppose. Had a need to know my position..justified it with the memory that when i was busy with family issues a few weeks back and he couldnt get to me he texted and called numerous times but shouldnt have justified it.

 

I agree KellBell that sounding wishy washy is a turn off to either sex..so i decided to take your advice and clearly state my position (thanks!) Actually on Monday i sent him a text that just said I knew he was going to have a rough couple of weeks, that i was here is he needed me and that he was in my thoughts. He addressed that in his text this morning, that he is thankful of y support and understanding.

 

 

 

FOr now he is busy so ill fill my time with other things...i was just thrown for a bit because of the whole awkward bf/gf thing a couple weeks ago.

[kellbell]

Hey there,

 

Well, I am sure you will know what he has been up against when he fills you in this weekend. When he does that, I would let him know you are there for him when he needs you and perhaps ask him what you can do to help.

 

I am sure things will be okay. There are just some heavy issues going on at the moment.

[Batya33]

Sounds to me like there is wayy too much texting going on particularly about things that are important to you and where you run the risk of being misinterpreted or misinterpreting. Given how much he has going on, I would have made other plans for the weekend already and if he got around to inviting me over I would have said that I would love to but I already made other plans.

[kellbell]

I do agree with Betya about the texting. It is a bit much and texting is a bit impersonal and gets old. Perhaps tone down the texting a bit and speak on the phone or in person more.

[BrokenHeart82]

Sounds to me like there is wayy too much texting going on particularly about things that are important to you and where you run the risk of being misinterpreted or misinterpreting. Given how much he has going on, I would have made other plans for the weekend already and if he got around to inviting me over I would have said that I would love to but I already made other plans.

 

 

Batya, he invited me to his parents Sunday..this past Monday actually and I told him id get back to him on it...thats why i brought it up.

 

Yes I agree, too much texting probably isnt a good thing..ill try to make an effort to give him a call during the week in the future to catch up rather then relying on impersonal texting.

[Batya33]

Since he seems to be pulling away some and does not want you to be his girlfriend I would let him do most of the calling from now on. And, even though he invited you in advance, you need to see if he is reliable about following up and confirming with the details - you shouldn't have to chase him down for that.