dad cheating?

[kekep]

the other night, my sister called me into her room b/c she was upset. she said a few weeks ago while she was out w/work buddies at a bar, that my dad came in with 3 women my sister had never seen before. he told my sister he had met the ladies at a restaurant in the area while he was out with some colleagues (well, they're basically his drinking buddies), and that they had just walked down there for a drink after eating. my sister said he introduced her to the women, and it was very awkward. he also asked her not to tell my mom about seeing him out. well, the night she called me into her room, she said earlier that one of the women had been calling my dad's cellphone. she said that she asked my dad why she was calling, and my dad said he didn't know, then took the cellphone into my parents' room to call her back. she couldn't hear their conversation. also, my dad was intoxicated that night.

 

my sister is really upset about this, and so am i. i want to tell my mom b/c if my dad is fooling around on her, she has a right to know. she is a very strong lady, but this would devastate her as she loves my dad to death. but what if this lady and my dad are just friends? i don't know want to blow it out of proportion if it isn't anything to get upset over. the other thing is, my dad and i aren't the closest, so approaching him about it would be really weird for me. what do you think i should do?

[chantal]

Talk to you father first.

make him brake down if he has to. what is he going to do? take somthing away? ground you? dis-own you? then he would have to explain it to your mother right?

I dont have a dad really so i dont know how a father daughter relationship works. But for the sake of your mother the one who has no idea and who hasn't done anything to deserve this.

This must be killing you and your sister, so you cant just leave it alone.

Spy on your father or get someone you know to do it.

call the show CHEATERS? they might help you.

But talk to him , you will know if he is lying

[Dilly]

I would tell my mom, frankly. I would tell her exactly what you told me, but I wouldn't sell my sister out unless she was cool with it. I would want my mom to know that I respected her enough to tell her and I probably would talk to my dad, but I don't like how he told your sister to avoid conveying that information to my mother. That's sneaky right there. And what kind of an adult hangs out in bars? Does your mother drink? Does she do the bar tour?

 

I wouldn't respect my dad for being a lady's man and I would tell my mom in a heartbeat. Having said that, my dad is totally not like this. He's very charming and good-looking, but my mom rules the roost and he would not stray. My mom on the other hand.... I am not so sure about that one... If my mom was cheating on my dad, I'd tell my dad straight up about my feelings and my suspicions and let him follow up as he deemed appropriate. I would NOT do this with friends, but family for me is quite different.

[fnlyfrei]

Your father put you in a terrible position. In the middle...which is horrible. I am sorry. You do not owe him your secrecy. Sounds like he is being naughty and he knows it. But to tell your mom would be hard too. I hope he either knocks it off...(maybe you could tell him to knock it off or you are talking to mom...) or your mom finds out on her own.

[Dilly]

The pro's of telling: your mom knows you respect her, your mom confronts the truth (if there is a private life your dad is leading), your mom finds the impetus to act (straighten things out with dad)

 

The con's of telling: this could be a fling (not a serious thing), this could be innocent, your mom and dad might be better off not knowing (but who could ever know??? and isn't knowing always best??? isn't enlightenment the most desired state???), your sister might disagree with you and your family may get divided

 

TOUGH SITUATION! But as your mom, I'd want to know.

[Bankers24]

As a wife who was cheated on...I would want to know! Your mom probably already has her suspicisions, but just has no evidence. Talk to your dad or tell your mom. You need to do something becuase what he is doing is not right. It is probably more involved then you know. It is also possible that this is NOT the first time he has cheated.

[jengh]

Yeah... I agree--- you have to tell your mom. Tell her your suspicions. Don't say "I think dad is cheating" but something more like "*enter sister's name here* saw dad at the bar the other night with a few women... i thought you should know...."

[sophie274]

You have unfortunately been put in the middle of this, but I think your goal should be to get out of the middle, fast!

 

If I were you, I would tell your dad what you and your sister saw, tell him what it makes you think and how it makes you feel, and then leave it up to your parents to work it out. I'm not so sure you should tell your mom ... either way I think you should bring this up with your father.

 

Whatever you do end up doing - and the decision is going to be hard - stay out of your parents' business after that. I mean, tell what you have to tell, and then make it very clear to both of them that this is THEIR business, not yours, and to keep you out of it. Make sure you aren't made to take sides and aren't brought into their arguments. It's both your right and responsibility to be kept free from it, in my opinion.