No contact with ex affair partner

[fortywhatever]

Decided too delete message. Thanks

[fortywhatever]

I decided to return to this post. I've been struggling alittle I guess this weekend. It is a milestone in a sense for me cause it is the longest "he" and I have gone without uttering one word to each other. In the past I would hold firm to no contact and he always broke it. Maybe this time he knew that I was nothing but seroius about getting out of the affair. I never wish anything bad for him, and told him so. It was time to finally walk away and not look back.

[robowarrior]

Good to see you showed some spine and didn't look back. However i advice not to make your heart a murder hole, just spit out all the issues you have in here, and we'll help you out. sorry that you've been going thru such a hard time breaking up.

[fortywhatever]

Good to see you showed some spine and didn't look back. However i advice not to make your heart a murder hole, just spit out all the issues you have in here, and we'll help you out. sorry that you've been going thru such a hard time breaking up.

 

Doing the right thing is so darn hard sometimes. Saying goodbye is never easy, but what I lived with everday had to end. The guilt, the secret of it all, everything just wore me out, emotionally.

 

I just at times still feel like the bad person for breaking up, but really i'm not. I remind myself alot that I did right.

[little red]

Yes, it is. The guilt and secrecy becomes too much.

 

You have done the right thing, draw strength from that.

 

I've very recently done exactly the same thing, after many times of trying and failing, but this is different. I have a strength this time which means that even as I write this reply, the temptation to contact him as I can see he is online is huge but I'm resisting. I've turned a corner.

 

I really hope that your strength and determination continues and that this becomes easier as the days turn into weeks.

 

LR

[fortywhatever]

Yesterday was a hard day to get thru. I did not contact him at all, don't plan to ever again, however all day I was full of sadness and heartache. I feel like I'm going thru some kind of withdrawal. Longing for somethig that I thought I needed and wanted, but don't really have to have it to survive.

 

Maybe I'd feel alittle better knowing that he was suffering alittle too. But I know it would not change anything. I will not be anyone's best kept secret.

 

Hope today goes better.

[Cyprian]

Did he cheat on you? Were you two having an affair?

 

My EX cheated on me with another guy, and is with him still. She wasn't even planning on telling me...instead simply tried to say we needed some space from each other.

 

It is so hard for me not to contact her either. I know that although she might be hurt somewhat from this experience, she still has HIM, my replacement, and so she is not suffering as much as I am.

 

I think people who don't have to deal with the betrayal of a cheating ex should feel somewhat lucky...

[fortywhatever]

Did he cheat on you? Were you two having an affair?

 

My EX cheated on me with another guy, and is with him still. She wasn't even planning on telling me...instead simply tried to say we needed some space from each other.

 

It is so hard for me not to contact her either. I know that although she might be hurt somewhat from this experience, she still has HIM, my replacement, and so she is not suffering as much as I am.

 

I think people who don't have to deal with the betrayal of a cheating ex should feel somewhat lucky...

 

 

Hi Cyprian...Yes we were having an affair. I am done with it all. Each day I feel little bit better........

 

But however today he called my work. Trying to not let me know it was him. I would not have answered but the number came up on my phone as one I did not know. Said - he was sorry, he had the wrong number, I said okay and hung up. That was that.

 

I think he was testing the waters so to speak, but who really knows.

 

I hope you are doing okay, I'm sorry about your situation.

[Cyprian]

I am doing OK. I just cringe every time I hear the words 'cheat' or 'affair'...

 

I think you are doing the right thing, in so many ways. Keep up the NC with your affair partner...

 

You also might want to delve into why this happened...why you strayed from your marriage, etc.