Break up by telephone...

[thatislife]

Hello,

 

I'm a guy (27) from Holland, 4 month ago my girlfriend who is Turkish and lives in Turkey broke up with me after 2 years (that week it was 2 years). In 1/2 a year she became really famous and busy with her dance career.

 

One week before she broke up, she came to visit me in Holland, she should stay 2 weeks, but went one week earlier because she had a danceshow... (She only visited me 2 times in 2 year, i visted more than 8 times)

that week she was really cold, i thought it was because of stress and that she became tired of the stress, dancing and fame. The last night was really cold, at the airport there were no tears.

 

One week later we had a nice talk in the afternoon and again in the evening. Suddenly she went away without saying goodbye. Because for quite a while she was cold, not really interested. I called her and asked her why she didn't say goodbye or a goodbye kiss (on msn), and was so cold. Suddenly she freaked out....She told me all kind of things, i was not aware off and she went hysterical......that was the end. So she break up on the phone!

 

For 3,5 month we had some contact, but it came all from me. Sometimes a small sms txt or email, but it's so small that it's almost meaningless.

 

She always told me, i was the only one, about marry etc... She tells me that for now it's over, but she cannot look into the future, she still loves me, likes my personality and think i'm handsome. I talk with 2 friends of her, she told them i love him but never again together. When i ask, is it defently over for ever..she cannot say yes or no, just that she doesn't know the future.

 

For me this came all out of the blue! I was so excited about everything. This year was really busy for her, getting famous and getting eveything she wants to do. Playing in movies, dancing, nike sponsership. There were some "fights" and arguments on the phone, but she was always so stressfull and in a hurry. The year before i was busy and for a couple of times she blamed me for that, now she is busy, and says i cannot make you happy anymore.

 

She said i was not happy with you anymore, why because we live 3000km away and i also would like to get some attention? I was the one calling and paying the bills, if you can understand me. I did everything!!!

When i asked her about other person's she says, it's not about other person, just about fights (for me it was not that big!). I don't need anybody in my life, I don't give a about anybody, she always tell me.

She wants to be my friend she says, hmm after what she said to me???

 

She could get really angry at me, shout hang up the phone etc..I was always able to stay easy and not let myself go. But i'm so intens sad about this all...I love her so much. Broke up by phone and never see her again, is really hard!!!! All her friends were in shock, they really thought we had a good future.

 

Questions are:

 

Has anybody experience with such a long distance NC?

Is there a chance I can make it up to her, because we live 3000km away from eachother ?

Should i go to Turkey? ( I asked her so many times, why we couldn't talk face -to -face)

 

Maybe some txt, but it's also quite complicated. Hope somebody can give me some usefull advise. Thank you very much!

[audrey]

hi there, well actually i've never had this experience, but i can imagine how you feel. i have a LDR too and my bf is from Holland as you. you know this is one nightmare i have that one day he could do what your ex gf did to you. i hope not. i don't agree with her, she's doing wrong and i think you have to give time. if she said it's over and you are willing even to go to her, she'll feel like you're in her hand.

i think you give yourself sometime to think what's the best to do, and who knows, maybe if you keep quiet for a while it'll come along that she's trying to contact you. it's not sure but there is a chance. to end, don't give her the impression you're begging her, if she really loves you she'll want to talk things over.

 

i hope my advice helps

good luck

[thatislife]

One thing I forgot to mention, is that during the summer. She broke up like 18th of Septembre...

 

I was there in Turkey and out of the blue she asked me...if something happens can i call you back in 3-5 years...? ofcourse i laught about it, like yeah ofcourse but nothing will happen right???... Something did happen 2month later, but this runs in my mind everyday...

 

When i ask her about this after she broke up, she had to laugh.....like yeah what soever.

 

can somebody please help me...i know it all inside yourself, and at the end it's only YOURSELF....