she can't get a job here

[abbett]

i've been dating a girl for 6 months now and we are both ready to live together........the weekends are fun, but we are ready to live together daily.

 

she works at a botanical garden and her degree is in horticulture and agriculture.

 

she's looked for jobs here where i am located and has found about 3 or 4 but no one is getting back to her. she interviewed at one place - we think they hired someone else. she gets no feedback. she sent her resume in to another place who is hiring - she's not heard a word. another place, she sent in a blind resume - someone called her. she called and left a message with the appropriate person and has heard nothing back. she also applied for a city job.

 

you might say, she needs to call these places and check in. she has. she always gets voice mails and rarely any calls back.

 

i'm getting discouraged that nothing is going to pan out. there aren't many jobs in her area anyway and the ones she has stumbled on don't respond.

 

how can i deal better with this? i'm feeling sad and disappointed and hopeless about us coming together. i'm starting to feel like maybe we aren't meant to be together.

[Mythical_Suicide]

Why don't you relocate? Or why doesnt she look in other fields of job opportunities?

[abbett]

hi...

 

i thought someone might ask why i don't relocate. i have a job that's a really good job. i am happy here. i have good benefits. i have a lot of years of service here. and i've tried finding other jobs and they don't pay as much or offer as much as what i already have. i also like my city. she, on the other hand, would like to move and is unhappy with her job. other jobs in her field have the potential of offering more to her. she wants to move here. and i don't want to move there.

 

i'm not sure what other fields she could go into. it seems that all jobs want a particular type of person who majored in something specific - she doesn't have that. any suggestions?

 

thanks.

[Meow18]

I would say to be patient in the job search.

 

There's no rush. I mean, what would the difference be if she moved out there in 6 months rather than a year?

 

Obviously there are obvious differences, but if you are sure about living with her, then you must be sure that the relationship will last.

 

Just keep looking for something. The worst case scenerio is that she takes a job that she isn't too thrilled about, move out there, and continue to look for something she would really like. I mean, she doesn't like her current job anyway, what could be worse?

[shes2smart]

Do you make enough that you could support both of you in the short term? It would be easier to find a job if she is physically there and can devote full-time attention/effort to doing so.

 

Is she looking only in her field or would she consider something outside of her field just to have some income until she finds something more in line with her ultimate career goals?

 

About 2 years ago, I was considering a career change and went to a career coach. During those sessions I learned that more jobs are attained through networking rather than blindly sending resumes or answering help wanted ads. I don't believe you mentioned what sort of distance we're talking about here, but I'll assume it's enough of a distance that she doesn't have any or many contacts where you live.

 

This is where you can help. Start mentioning to everyone you know -- friends, family, co-workers, etc. -- that she is looking for a job. You never know when someone will turn up a valuable lead...like "Oh, yeah, they're looking for people where my brother works...lemme give you his number so you can ask him about it."

 

The other thing is that getting a job is, in part, a numbers game. In my industry, for instance, it's not uncommon to send out 100 tape/resume packages and not get a call back. You learn that you have to be creative, get in people's faces (in a friendly, not overly-pushy way), tell everyone you know that you're looking for a job and ask for their help in getting leads. This sort of thing is why anyone who's been in radio for any length of time knows a boatload of people. First thing I see radio people who've never met each other do when they get introduced is start comparing notes on who they both know. It's nuts.

 

The more people you can let know she's looking for a job, the more people you have helping her look. Most people *want* to help...you just have to ask...and be sure to thank them.

 

Here's an example for ya. Some friends of ours had a son who was being released from jail. He was invovled in a car accident and blah, blah, blah. Point is he didn't intentionally kill anyone or steal stuff or sell drugs. Anyway, he wanted to find a job. They asked my husband if there were any openings where he works. He gave their son info on who to talk to, and where to go apply. He found out who their son was interviewing with and turns out the interviewer was someone my husband's on good terms with, so he put in a good word for our friends' son.

 

Our friends' son was upfront about his situation, did well in the interview and was offered a job within a month of being released from jail. He's doing well and getting his life back on track.

 

That's how networking can work.

[hosswhispra]

Are you anywhere near the U of Alabama---this is where I would apply if I were your girlfriend:

 

link removed

 

Looks like a great place to work

[shikashika]

you say only 3 or 4? Give it time.. hopefully something will come of it is she being picky with her job search? What size of town/city do you live in?

[abbett]

hey, thanks for all the replies. i live in bham, al - the biggest city in the state. there are opportunities, but i do think she is being picky on where the applies........she is qualified for landscaping, but i don't know if there is enough money in that for her........she currently is on a staff of gardeners who tend the grounds at a bot garden.......she wants to do similar work here........however, there are only a handful of jobs like that in any city.

 

i can't support both of us and actually, i would rather her move down sooner rather than later because of my expenses........a year and a half ago, my long-term rel with someone else ended and i kept the house.......mortgage and all........i had a roommate but now i am living solo. i love it but can't afford it all by myself. i was thinking i could for a few months, but that was considering she had some leads by now. i guess i just need to try to get another roommate, but i'm afraid if i do, she'll get a job and we'll be stuck with this other person.

 

i am a little perturbed and it's because i don't think she is being aggressive enough in her search. she's young and hasn't really had to search for a job before. the one she has now came really easy.

[Iceman26]

Hey abbett.

 

I just moved a few months ago to be with my wife. I moved from California to Texas without having a job, but I found one within three weeks of being here.

 

It was stressful, but my suggestion would be for you guys to save up money and have her make the move.

 

It might be a little stressful for a while, but once she is down in Birmingham she can physically go to these places and apply for jobs, like I did when I moved out here.

[abbett]

hey, thanks. we talked last night......and she made some more calls yesterday and sent some more resumes out.......i also talked w 4 people at work who might have some contacts. i work at a mag that has an extensive garden staff.......hopefully, the leads i got from them might help. i had a little emotional breakdown yesterday about it. my parents are trying to encourage me to be more positive and that something will come out of it - they think in the next couple of weeks. i sure hope so.

 

i agree - moving down here without anything might be a way to get something accomplished - but then if it didn't happen, she might regret leaving her job.........it's taken a month of waiting on the places she's applied for becuase they are huge places and also their closing dates for applications are so long-range - they are open a month or so before they even start interviewing candidates.

 

i was just hoping i could get some feedback from you guys on how to handle myself better instead of feeling discouraged and critical of how she's going about the process. id on't want to argue or be upset..........thanks for all your great feedback.

[abbett]

well, i'm feeling a little better about my gf's job possibilities here. she's applied at some great places and we've heard very little back.

 

yesterday, i decided i have some great contacts, esp here at work.......so i talked with them and they gave me several great names that might could help her or give her more contacts - so now we are tapping into the old networking......

 

we were also told that the places she had applied for jobs take a very long time to go through - the process - just those types of organizations.......city, university, non-profit........

 

i am hoping the contacts, patience, her education and experience will pay off eventually........ networking is really the most important component tho, isn't it?

[shes2smart]

i am hoping the contacts, patience, her education and experience will pay off eventually........ networking is really the most important component tho, isn't it?

 

(un)fortunately, yes.

 

I say (un)fortunately because, to some extent, networking has gotten a bad name....it conjures up images of people being fake-nice to others just to use them as a contact when they need something later. And, yes, there are people who network that way.

 

But I can't (and don't) network that way...and no one else has to either if they can't stomach acting like that or its not their style. I tend to only network with/help out people that I genuinely LIKE and/or respect.

 

I have the job I have now because I worked for the guy who hired me here at a different company several years ago. In hiring me, he KNEW what he was getting. He already knew my work habits, my personality, my strengths and weaknesses. He knew that I was very likely to continue to be a "good employee" because I had been a good employee for him in the past.

 

It's a gamble for a company to hire a new employee. Depending on any sort of training programs or company-paid benefits, it can cost a goodly amount to bring a new person on board...so they want to avoid making a bad choice -- someone who's going to up and quit in a few months or a year or someone who's going to have to be asked to leave.

 

If the person who does the hiring hears of a candidate from someone they already have some sort of relationship with, it can help reduce the risk to the company to hire that person. So that's why networking makes sense from the employer's standpoint.

 

From a job seeker's standpoint it makes sense because it means you've got people helping you look, and it gives a job seeker a point of contact/commonality with a potential employer. If the person doing the hiring knows "Susan" and I contact them saying "Susan" suggested I call, then we already have something in common to start a discussion. Even better for me if the person doing the hiring likes/respects "Susan."

 

Best of luck to both of you. Try not to get too discouraged. Finding a job can be a difficult process, but you should be fine.