I want her back

[phishhead1981]

Ok, here's the deal. I love my ex-girl, we were together for a year and wanted to take some time off. On Aug 14, we broke up, but got back together on the 22nd. Then on the 27th, we broke up again, she wanted more time than I gave her. After hounding her until last night, (the 1st of September) I have decided to let her go. She said she never wants me back and she doesn't love me anymore, but I find this hard to believe. I am just wondering if I drove her so far away in calling her for like 3 days straight begging for her back that we will not get back together. I have talked to a therapist (for anxiety) and two psychics and they all say to leave her alone, but the psychics both said we would get back, it would just take time. What does anyone think I should do? BTW, I am 22 and she is 19.

[bryan]

Though I dont believe in fortelling the future, the psychics were right. You need to let her go for now. Dont forget about her, just let her go. One day things may work out but calling her and begging her will only make her frustrated and push her away more. I know from experience man. My ex left me 3 months ago for a complete loser of a guy. Now guess who has been blowing up my cell the last 3 weeks?? She misses me and realizes what she lost. Maybe that will happen to you. She can only miss you if you are not in the picture. Let her realize what she lost. It may take time, but if you were good to her, she'll probably want it back. She needs to get out and see the world for now but when she realizes the grass isnt always greener, she will call. Just give it time and let her make all the moves. Show her you can live without her and that you are not weak. Let her chase you. Once she sees that you are strong without her she will get curious and wonder whats going on and why you havnt been begging for her back. Girls find guys who are self confident and self reliant very attractive.

 

When she does call or contact you is where you need to be very careful. Dont sound desperate and dont talk about the relationship. Keep us updated! Good luck man,

 

bryan

[Mar]

I have to keep reminding people in this situation of one other thing.........why did you break up in the first place? If it was over something serious....or even a bunch of not-so-serious stuff.....then a couple of weeks isn't going to fix that. You both need to do some serious thinking about where you want your relationship to be and what compromises you're willing to make to get there. Don't rush back into it before you've thought about WHAT you're getting back into.

[S4il]

ERmm..! Tough situation:

 

Well if she is completely ignoring you, than Yes she needs space, you sound really desperate to win her back, will only make her slip away more...Listen, You need to Cut your attempts, OFF everything Like a Light Switch, It's going to be hard. and very painful mentally inside to complete this task.

 

but having and Keeping that Strong courage to proceed with the Limitations of keeping in contact, have to be Solid. no port holes in the system,. Not even E-mails, or Text messages. NOTHING/NULL/ your oblivious to her, like she doesn't exist....than the interesting part is going to be when you least expect it...she will contact you, It will bother her to think, "OMG maybe phishhead1981 (your name) Got over me" and will Drill deeper and deeper into her mind. until she either calls. or makes it an obligation for you to call her. a Hint, maybe threw a Mutual friend.

 

It happened to everyone my friend. and its Going to be very difficult for you Follow thru with this (no contact) state of mind. But good things come to people who wait. and plus your two psychics you have called said they see you getting back together, Not sure if that is 100% true,. but staying positive has positive results.. Hope i helped keep me (us) posted.

 

Good Luck...

[X ShadowDreamz X]

alright, forget the psychics, ya sometimes we get so desperate for answers that we don't use our brain to be realistic about stuff. If anything is going to happen between you 2, you have to give it time. You can't just assume that a week from the day u broke up will be when you get back together. It might be a week from now, or even a month. You just don't know. Time is everything. You have to let the relationship be part of the past for a while. Sometimes not being with someone for a while helps you to realize a lot of things about them. She might change her mind, she might not. Let some time pass b4 u make any kind of attempt to get her back. Maybe in a month or 2, try to get her attention again. If she shows you that she isn't interested, don't hound her for an answer that will never come. Try to move on in your life, its going to be really hard to wake up everyday and know that she isn't yours, but soon the pain will fade. good luck, i hope you get back together!

[phishhead1981]

I will give some more insight. One thing that she said hurt her was her Grandma died in July. I could not go to the funeral for a number of reasons

1.) My dad died 2 years ago and I cannot go to funerals

2.) It was in Little Rock, Arkansas and I live in WV

3.) I could not get off work.

So now you know the main reason that she says she no longer loves me. I am leaving her alone, and I know that the thing I did was bad, but I could not help it!

[S4il]

she doesn't love you because you couldn't attend a funeral...?

 

damn that is pretty harsh, What a Guilt she is trying to put on you, True it would have been more comfortable for her to see her grandma for the last time if you were present, but that Extreme of a Guilt just doesn't make any sense, she isn't worth your time....Don't dwell on it., and let it rent space in your mind, you can't change the past, Only the Future...

[Ccian]

Just leave her alone, no contact. My ex and I broke up after 6 years (second time we broke up) we broke up in may after a few months of her playing games with me to pull me back in (i guess things were not going well) i cut her off for a month totally no emails nothing. She would im me about bull, i called her last week she was with her new thang in a different state and we talked for 40 mins then she said she will call me when she got back. I said what ever, at this point i am making no effort well i get home around 7 when we were together now i get home earlier figures right, well she called me at 7:07 i did not pick up and then called my cell again i did not pick up. I am not going to be to availiable to her. She did not leave a message so as far as i care, nothing to return.

 

My ex moved on before we broke up. did the same thing last year too. Always has to find someone to jump too. Well summer is over(did last summer too), i guess she wants her winter ususal back. Oh well not this time. So just be patient. When i want someone I treat them like a cat. When you ignore a cat it always comes to you. I always got these beautiful women because I just ignored them no matter how i felt for them.

 

I love my ex, but she has to learn what life is like without me. I will ignore her until she gets angry enough to actually leave me a message. lol then i wont return it until the next day.

[Breaker24]

Listen I'm facing something very similar to you. To be honest I'm not sure how I'm going to deal with it. I was in New York and over the phone she's telling me how she wants us to take a break. Totally crushed my heart because I was not expecting it, plus on holiday. We haven't been together for about a month, but she made me make this promise way back to always be friends, and when I try to bring up us getting back together she tells me she doesn't feel that way about me right now.

 

When the right time to approach her about it? I just can't believe she doesn't feel anything about me. I can see it in her when she smiles at me, but she just denies it.

 

Plus that promise to always be friends means that I feel compelled to call her, but do you think it would be better if we just broke it off completely? I just can't take the fact that I've lost the love of my life, and my best friend at the same time.

 

To give a little more background, the reasons she's feeling this way is because I haven't been paying much attention to her, since I've been so worried about paying bills. Now that I have a roomie, I'm totally in a position to give her my all, but she doesn't want to give me a chance. Aren't gf's supposed to be there for you when you need them most? It would be easier for me to think she was heartless, but I know her character too well. I'll probably post my own message cause there's too much detail, but I think these questions kind of tie into both our situations.