Guy who talks too much

[cantexplain]

Dear Everyone,

 

I am getting better ... but I am still the fellow who, when attracted to someone and in a budding relationship, gets nervous and talks too doggone much. As the relationship matures I am really a quiet, but emotionally available, companion. Its in the initial stages I get insecure and screw things up with nervous energy.

 

(And I am an experienced business person quite skilled at getting people to talk so I can listen. These skills never come out when I am attracted to a woman.)

 

Tomorrow I have a first meeting with a new romantic prospect. I want to get a reality check here on what I should hope to do and when to stop.

 

We've spoken over the Internet a bit (not too much!) and just enough that I suspect I will want the second date.

 

So I am already worried about getting through tomorrow in anticipation of getting through this initial asessment of one another and having a second date.

 

This is an internet initiated first encounter in the mid-morning. She suggests coffee/tea and a walk in the neighborhood. So that's the plan.

 

Any advice so I don't build a snowball to bury the chances for a second date?

 

Also I recall a long posting on this site by a woman (self-proclaimed dating advisor) about us guys who talk a whole lot and don't act romantically in good speed. I was hoping to find this post and read it again. Does anyone know how I could search for it? I recall it had many views and many replies - but can't seem to put my finger on it now.

 

Thanks for you feedback.

 

cantexplain

[Roasted Carrots]

There is a 'Search' option in the blue bar at the top of the screen. It helps, though, if you remember the person who started the thread. If you posted in the thread, search through your posts ( I think that's available in your profile).

 

As for the talking to much...sorry, but I don't have much advice. I don't really tend to talk 'too much', but rather I tend to blurt out things that most people would refrain from saying. People my age find it amusing.

 

I guess all the advice I have is to try not to talk too much about yourself, at least. I'm sure you'll be fine.

 

Sorry I couldn't be of more use. Good luck!

[Aurian]

An idea... perhaps make the date an activity so you can do something together and be a bit distracted from talking too much? Interact over minature golf or bowling or something so you don't feel nervous and fill up the empty silences.

[cantexplain]

Roasted carrots and aurian that sounds like fine, simple wisdom.

[CanadianGirl]

There is a 'Search' option in the blue bar at the top of the screen. It helps, though, if you remember the person who started the thread. If you posted in the thread, search through your posts ( I think that's available in your profile).

 

As for the talking to much...sorry, but I don't have much advice. I don't really tend to talk 'too much', but rather I tend to blurt out things that most people would refrain from saying. People my age find it amusing.

 

I guess all the advice I have is to try not to talk too much about yourself, at least. I'm sure you'll be fine.

 

Sorry I couldn't be of more use. Good luck!

 

are you my boyfriend? he seems to blurt things out at the wrong times .. I don't always find it amusing, but mostly I do...so it may be my problem too.

 

too much RAMBLING is harsh. talk about meaningful things and dont be so scared of awkward silences.

[cantexplain]

no roasted carrots is the one who blurts out clever things.

 

as it turned out this date went very well - at least in regards to me talking a lot and especially about myself.

 

methinks this site may have helped cure me of this early stage romance disease of blabbermouth.

 

Indeed, my date referred to our conversation as unique and refreshing - and I thought to myself how wonderful it was that she was doing most of the talking.

 

so I am quite pleased thanks for the good advice.

[rnorth]

Glad the date went well. My suggestion would have been to ask questions and listen. Keep questions from being too personal ie sex, past relationships, personal hygiene, etc. (sorry to be obvious but you never know!).

 

Ask her about her interests, vacations; why she liked those places, what she likes about her job, her family, what it was like where she grew up...etc. Don't force humor. I find that when I listen more often, whatever I say is much more meaningful and funny especially responding to her cues. Women typically have better communication skills, although this varies depending on family backgroun, etc.

 

Great topic! I think most of us guys have been there!