Divorce and stepparents

[Hollylifeinablender]

Hello Everyone! I've been reading some of the post and a lot of people seem to have the question about what happens and what they should do with a child involved.

 

A lot of times people don't understand what can happen in the future. Let me explain. I'm divorced and my daughter was 2 years old at the time of my divorce. (She's now 6 years old.) At the time I didn't want to stay with her father because I was very unhappy. I didn't think that one day my daughter's father would remarry and then another woman would enter the picture. A woman who will forever be a part of my daughter's life. Even if I even had the slightest thought... I never thought of how hard it would be to have another woman as a "mother figure" in her life. Think about how you would or will feel about having another woman or man in your childs life. You know have another person to share this child with... not only that - but you may not be completely over your exhusband or exwife... and they may move on faster than you had ever thought. Make sure you'll be able to handle these feelings and emotions. It's not an easy road to travel. Birthparents and Stepparents aren't the best of friends.... usually it's just the opposite - they are the worst of emenies.

[Princess777]

Helo,

 

You have brought up a very interesting topic that probably affects many people. Thank you for this post, I'm sure that visitors here who are in those situations will heed your advice.

 

Princess777

[Confused Newlywed]

Thank you for your thoughts. I come from a different angle in that I recently married a man who has a 14 year old son and we have 50% shared care with his mother. This arrangement was in place well before I came along.

 

I cannot begin to imagine how it must feel for his mum to have me in her son's life and also for her exhusband to have remarried. I am very conscious of her feelings and have made a point of being friends with my step son....definitely not his mother. I have made this very clear with him and I hope he can learn some useful skills from me that can compliment what his mother has already taught him. He has a mother who cares for him deeplyand I will never stand in the way of his relationship with his mum.

 

I get on well with his mother but we will never be best buddies. I do find my step son manipulative and find this very difficult at times and what you say is right...it is not an easy road to travel.......