Mistake i will never make again

[RoseKnight]

this is a long post so bear with me

 

I met this girl online about four and a half years ago.. we chatted a good bit.. probably about a few months or so.. then i finally got up the nerve to give her my phone number and she called... we started talking and BAM it was like magic.. we were awesome togeather.. now i wasn't too keen on the whole online dating thing to begin with but i decided to give it a shot.. we were togeather for about a year or so.. things were great... i was still establishing myself so i didnt have the means to go see her (yes i know my mistake) well we continued to go out.. talked on the phone every day.. spent all kinds of time togeather the best we could... then about halfway through the second year she tells me that she's cheated on me.. ok i can deal with that .. people make mistakes.. so we continue to date.. now during this time i'd been trying to save up the money to go see her but she kept saying that it may not be best because of her parents wouldn't like it... i tried to get her to tell her mother at least about me.. it was killing me but she would never do it... so things kept going and then i suddenly one night find out that she had cheated on me about 4 more times in the past that she never told me about because it hurt me... by this time i was so in love with her i didnt know what to do... i was scared of losing her.. even tho she had hurt me. So come this year... she is 20.. she still hasnt told her mother about me... although ive thought of telling her myself but decided not to on the principal of betraying her trust... so a couple of weeks ago she tells me that she doesnt think she can do this anymore (coincidentally she had just developed feelings for someone) she told me that her feelings for him were dissmissable and that right now i had nothing to worry about... but then she starts barely talking to me and talking to someone else that she never told me who it was...when i know it was him. She talked so fondly of him.. didnt want me socializing with her friends anymore over the phone ( i believe it was to hide 2 conflicting stories) so i just decided to break it off with her because it was waaaaaayy too much strain on my emotions feeling like i was just a "confort blanket" until she found someone... im still hurting atm i just wanted to get a story out on how something so good can turn so sour... Lesson learned: NO MORE ONLINE DATING

[Heretic]

I'm really sorry if this sounds insensitive but did you guys ever meet in person. I'm just trying to assess the situation as best I can. I've never had an online relationship so I'm not sure what's it's all about. Any information you can provide will greatly assist me in not only helping you but others like yourself in the future.

[Maverick32x]

Well, I think a major problem this relationship fell apart was due to the fact that you never saw each other... I mean, you guys never saw each other, or anything.... I assume people are very diffrent on the phone/internet than they are in person...

 

so perhaps getting to know someone online isnt so bad, but might want to actually SEE them before you completely commit yourself?

 

edit on an unrelated note, your avatar is AMAZING Heretic!!!

[Caine]

It sounds to me like this girl won't settle down with one person for a long time, she can't commit to a relationship at all, and at the end of the day, she'll be the one hurting. I 've just started the internet dating thing, and the biggest problem is, you don't really know the person until your actually meeting them, so you can't tell the way they act, or any of their manerisms, bodylanguage etc. I'm beginning to think it's better to meet people in person.

[Joneysnai]

well, i feel bad for you but at the same time, i honestly don't think u can say this was "something so good". i think since u never met her and u only chatted with her and spoke on the phone with her, u were really in love with the idea of the type of person she is. you chat, u talk, yet u never got to meet eachother in real life so u don't know if u would click if u did meet eachother.. u r in love with her personality, with her voice, just with the idea that u know who she is but in reality u don't. u can't possibly know someone until u meet them in person and have spent some time with them!

 

as far as this girl is concerned, it doesn't sound like she wants a serious relationship at the moment. people can say anything they want online and or on the phone. afterall, it's just another person on the other end of the computer and or telephone. if u know what i mean.