Should I? or shouldn't I?

[Brawnee]

Okay. Been a while since posting here, and hopefully I can gleen some good advice from the forum. Here's the situation:

 

There are 2 women. The first one is my age (33), from my place in the world and I've spent a fair amount of time with her. I've known her for almost a year. We haven't had sex, but we have been intimate in other ways. She seems so interested in me at times and doesn't want me to leave her whenever we are together, and this is very sweet to me. I get along with her exceptionally. I am convinced that she is in a secret relationship/ in love with with her best friend (who is also a woman). I believe that she is confused, likes me very much, but is afraid of her girlfriend in some way... It's like we are on the cusp of something really great but there seems to be something holding her back from making that first leap into my arms. I have been told by a mutual friend of ours that she "keeps me on a pedestal" and thinks that I am awesome... great. She is sooo slow to come into my arms, and its frustrating to me. (Exaple: we sing and dance, holds hands and tell each other how fortunate we are to have met... When I get that lusty look in my eyes and I go in for the kiss she usually withdraws) I think I am falling in love with her.

Then there's the other girl. I've known this girl casually for about 2-3 years. She is 13 years my junior (20) and so very cool and attractive (true long legged hottie). I haven't spent too much time with her and we've never been intimate in any way other than just hangin' out, firin' up a doobie and talking or her cutting my hair. I am about to purchase my first home and she wants to be my roomie. She offered money towards the mortgage and cooking, cleaning and laundry services. It sounds very tempting. I like this girl very much; she seems to be a free spirit with a servant's heart. I am worried because I do not really know her all that well. She's so young and if she moves in with me, it will be her first living away from her parents. I can tell that she is attracted to me, and that there is potential for something good... but potential for something bad also. I could definitely use the help around the house and the company. However, I know that if I did this, it would probably ruin any chance for the other woman whom I am falling for. I need to spend more time with her before I decide to let her live with me.

 

Anyway, I know the post is lengthy but this something that is weighing heavily on my heart and it is difficult to talk to my friends about it because their views are skewed by the simple fact that they know me. I would love to hear any advice from an unbiased stranger.

 

Thanks.

Brawnee

[Momene]

Get both girls to have a duel and marry the survivor.

[robowarrior]

Well basically the first woman is your emotional choice, and the second woman is your logical choice.

 

It would be not fair to go with the last woman while your in love with the first. You definitly have to be honest to yourself and to these woman on what you feel towards them.

 

Basically as long as the first woman is together in a relationship with that other woman, then you cannot intervene, its neither your right nor place to do so.

 

So my choice would be that you'd go with neither woman, your not in love with the last, and the one that you are is unavailable.

 

So basically its a no-go for either both of them.

[Brawnee]

So my choice would be that you'd go with neither woman, your not in love with the last, and the one that you are is unavailable.

 

True, while I'm not in love with the 20 y.o., I do like her and the potential for falling in love with her is there.....

[valiantv]

I'm thinking this is one that we (the forum) shouldn't answer! It's up to you!

 

Just from an unrelated legal point of view..

She offered money towards the mortgage

Be careful here, a friend of mine who bought his house on his own, but had a girlfriend who was living with him got this advice:

Make sure she knows it's rent and not "towards the mortgage" (rent book or something)... A bit heartless I know, but if you guys have a falling out or something, she may have a stake in the house since she has been paying half the mortgage! I suppose check the legal situation in your country.