Quick question: anal sex.

[spikey34]

My girlfriend and I tried anal sex for the first time with no results. I couldn't even get in her, and when I used a finger with a condom on it, (tons of lube) it went right in but I think my finger nail caught something wrong and hurt her. She wants to try again (as do I), but I'm not sure if I'm doing things right.

 

I've researched it a lot, bought a book, and browsed the forums, but I still am left wondering as to which angle I need to insert myself or my finger in to her to make things go smoothly as possible. I mean the vagina you go up into her, but the anus seems different. When I put my finger in her, I had to go down at about a 45 degree angle to actually penetrate her and got about half of my index finger in her. Is this the proper angle to take, or is it just a straight shot in?

 

From behind, should I be positioned to go straight in, slanted up like her vagina, or should I am down the way my finger seemed to penetrate naturally?

[shikashika]

was she lying on her back... this can be the most relaxed angle for a woman the first time.. once you've gotten used to that, try it from behind or any other style!

[TiredMan]

She's nervous about it. Sometimes it takes a lot. the Doggie position I found easiest for the entrance. When she is on her back is tough because you don't get to really see where u are.

 

I remember first time I tried anal, I used my fingers until she got used to do that. When that got easier, moved to two, then eventually penis.

[BornToResist]

I simply hate fingers. They never work on me, and I've had anal successfully many times, so don't be discouraged if that doesn't work.

 

As for the angle, listen to her.

 

It works best for me if it is kinda a 45 degree angle pointed downish...but maybe everyone is different. Let her guide you, she knows best.

[shikashika]

I simply hate fingers. They never work on me, and I've had anal successfully many times, so don't be discouraged if that doesn't work.

 

As for the angle, listen to her.

 

It works best for me if it is kinda a 45 degree angle pointed downish...but maybe everyone is different. Let her guide you, she knows best.

 

 

I agree!! fingers don't really help me relax at all... its penis or nothing! just make sure you use lots of lube and she is relaxed.. if she isn't relaxed.. its not going in!

[spikey34]

We were going from behind the first time, and I followed a lot of the right steps as to what I've seen online.

 

I went down on her, and then we had sex for awhile until she was ready to try it. We laid down a towel, and I put a small amount of desensitizing lube on the outside of her anus, and I used a non-lubricated condom that I doused in a water-based lubricant.

 

We started with my penis, but its like sticking a hotdog through a pinhole regardless of the amount of lube. So, I stuck a condom on my finger with lube on it, and inserted down at about a 45 degree angle and got it halfway in before she said I was done. I pulled it out slowly and we called it a night. It took nearly an hour of this, but a lot of the time was taken because I couldn't stay hard enough as I was too paranoid with hurting her.

 

We're going to try her lying on her back on the couch with her legs on my shoulders, and that way we can go straight from vaginal to anal with little delay to keep the mood going. The only concern about having her tell me the angle is, she doesn't know which way I should go. If I try experimenting its going to hurt her and she'll be done.

 

I'm also questioning my placement of the lube, should I actually put some inside of her, or around her anus and lube the condom?

[J6hn]

Do women actually orgasm from it? Or is it just a nice feeling?

I've never really understood it.

[LostInMyThoughts]

I usually use a finger, fully lubed. My nails are trimed too. Then when she gets okay with that, move to two, then three. Then when she is okay with that then I go for the full show.

 

Doggie seems to be the easiest.

[Paranoid]

Stop being such wimps and just do it. I've done it before, no lube except natural lubrication that was moved from my vagina back there. It worked out fine. Never really hurt and he loved it. We did it spooning or with me laying on my stomach. Everyone always says it's this huge process, how it hurts so much, how you need to stretch her with fingers, how you need so much lube......I didn't think any of that was true. But maybe that's just me.

 

There's two muscles she has back there, one she controls so she has to be relaxed or it will be as you say, "pushing a hotdog through a pin hole." The other one she doesn't control....so she has to relax and just breathe and wait for it to relax.

[amtjrtcet]

My b/f & I tried it for the first time this wknd. We were somewhat successful-as in he got it a little over half way in. It was a long process, I was lying on my stomach. LOTS OF LUBE. He had to be very patient and gentle, and he was. It felt really good, when it wasn't painful. I'd be ok for a minute, all relaxed. Then I'd tense up, and it hurt some.

I think it just takes time. We'll probably do it again eventually, but I doubt very often.

[TiredMan]

That depends on his size, how much lube is used and most importantly, how gently he was going in.

[zerohalo]

That depends on his size, how much lube is used and most importantly, how gently he was going in.

And how slowly. There shouldn't really have been 'pumps' as much as there should have been gentle, slow thrusts.

[spikey34]

So I guess the missing link to us being as successful as possible is her just relaxing her muscles more, and being comfortable with something in that area?

[Paranoid]

So I guess the missing link to us being as successful as possible is her just relaxing her muscles more, and being comfortable with something in that area?

 

That could be part of the problem. It also depends on your size....if you're penis is really thick then it's obviously going to hurt more than one that isn't that thick. She has to be really relaxed and into it for it to work. The first time me and my boyfriend at the time did it, it was really unplanned. We were going to bed, spooning, after we started fooling around and got interrupted. And it just kind of happened. It didn't hurt at all really. It was just alot of pressure, really full kind of feeling. I guess before that he tried to put his finger in there....but honestly, that freaked me out alot more than his penis. I'm not sure why. It just did. Just the finger wasn't uncomfortable physically, I was weirded out by it mostly I think.