My whole life might change, please help me! please!

[shep88ner]

i couldnt be any more scared. i am 18 and my GF is 17. we had sex today and it was all alright until i pulled out after orgasm. the condom had torn at the top and was all bunched down at the bottom of my penis. i came inside of her and we both freaked out.

 

we rushed instantly out of my house to go to the local health department. lucky for us, the health department was closed, like it always is.

 

so we rushed then to meijer where their pharmacy was open. i bought "Plan B" and a coke. she went right to the bathroom of meijer and took the first pill.

 

she said she had stuff coming out of her vagina, which i assume was my semen.

 

the total time it took us to get the pill from when this happened was literly less than 40 minutes. it may have even been around 1 half hour.

 

she takes the second pill at 4 in the morning tomorrow.

 

i'm so scared, ive thrown up already and im shaking and it's hard to type. both of our lives are going to be crushed if this fails.

 

is there any good news any of you can suggest? has Plan B worked for you? Did we act fast enough? Did we act TOO fast???

 

(also, is it true that it's easier to get preg. right after your period? ive heard it's the least likely time to get pregnant and it's easier the closer you are till your period. anyone have any comments on this?)

 

thank you

[BornToResist]

If you got the plan B pill, you should be fine.

 

I have used it on several occasions and many of my friends have too and none of us ended up pregnant after using it.

[jazzykat]

Hey seriously,

 

you acted quickly and responsibly... you should be fine..

 

Just make sure you get a pregnancy test done in a week or so, just to make sure.

 

Chill.. it'll work out ok.

[nomoretears4uboo]

Don't worry. Relax, if she took her pills like she was suppose to she would be fine. I took plan B like 2 days after it happen and I was totally fine. I've also had friends who have taken it and have been fine. I'm glad to see you both are being responsible. I suggest, if you guys have sex a lot. You may want to have her get on the pill or something. So if things like this happen, you know you'll be okay.

[sophie274]

She will probably be fine. There is NOTHING more you can do right now, so try to relax. Have you two discussed what you would do if she were pregnant?

 

As you have just learned, condoms can be unreliable. Think about an additional method of birth control. I personally am on the pill, and my boyfriend and I use condoms every time: much better for peace of mind.

[shep88ner]

we dont have sex very often at all. maybe once every 3 weeks or so, if that. im in college and she's back home so we dont really see eachother enough to have sex as regularly as we used to.

 

this is the SECOND condom to do this to me. the first time though i got really lucky. i didnt orgasm and pulled out for a breather and realized my condom was all bunched up and torn away. this always scared me so bad because of what would have happened had i came in her.

 

today when i pulled out and saw it had happened again but this time i did orgasm, my heart just dropped...

[jengh]

Is your girlfriend on birth control? You may want to consider this as a back-up...just in case...This by no means says you don't have to use a condom.

[sophie274]

 

this is the SECOND condom to do this to me. the first time though i got really lucky. i didnt orgasm and pulled out for a breather and realized my condom was all bunched up and torn away. this always scared me so bad because of what would have happened had i came in her.

 

Exactly!

 

This is the second time - time to invest in back-up, don't you think?

 

You might also want to check you are using the condom correctly - sounds silly but there is a right and a wrong way. Two breaks in a short period of time sounds like a lot to me...

[shep88ner]

Is your girlfriend on birth control? You may want to consider this as a back-up...just in case...This by no means says you don't have to use a condom.

 

ironically enough she starts BC after her next period. this all happened just a few weeks too early. and i will still wear a condom even though she's on BC. but after this scare we've agreed to not have sex for a long long time. this just hits so close to home cause our friend that is our age is pregnant and we've seen how it has destroyed her life. she's dropped out of college and is living in this appartment with a boyfriend who doesnt have a job and it's just a mess when in the beginning she had it all going for her.

 

we really love eachother and to save our futures and our relationship we can sacrafice sex for a little while

[shep88ner]

i read the post on down the line about Plan B which is what we used. i do have one little problem though...

 

my girlfriend is anemic and she has irregular periods. her periods can start at way different times. sometimes her periods start say, on the 25th, then the next month will start around the 6th. so it's tough to determine if she's late on her cycle or what. if we take a pregnacy test, when should we do it? because ive read all over here about take it a week after you miss your regular period date.

 

also...are you SURE this pill works? im sorry to keep nagging but i am so scared you have no idea. this wont only hurt us but it will destroy the people around us too...im just really really scared is all. i just need some comfort.

[sophie274]

Ok, the effectiveness of plan B is about 95%. So there is a 5% chance that it won't work. I think there was a poster on here who had gotten pregnant after taking plan B. So nothing is certain, and we can't assure you that everything will be allright. However, it most likely will.

 

Secondly, 1 week after missed period = about 3 weeks post-conception for the average female. So you could probably test about 3 weeks from today. Your girlfriend might even get a period before that.

 

Finally, I know you're stressed out. Relax. There's nothing you can do right now. If you and your girlfriend have not talked about what you would do in case of pregnancy, now might be a good time to sort that out, so you know what decisions you would make if she were pregnant.

 

Try not to freak out everytime she gets a headache, her boobs hurt, she feels nauseous, etc ... She won't have pregnancy symptoms at 3 days pregnant, it's just stress!

 

Next time, prepare.

[shep88ner]

thanks sophie, im trying real hard not to freak out but i just keep thinking about all of what's going to be ruined if she is pregnant. i'll most likely not finish college, if she goes she might not finish, we're both financialy strained, our images with the other's families will be ruined, all trust in us will be gone...just everything...im too young, i made a big mistake and i realize now how stupid i have been...im trying not to stess out, but i can make the prediction i might very well be like this until she starts her period

[katie831]

I gather this 'plan B' is emergency contraception? I was in the same predicament as your girlfriend, i had sex with my boyfriend, condom split and we went straight away to get emergency contraception. I am part of the 5% that it didn't work for so i would definitely advise in 3 weeks or so time that your gf takes a pregnancy test (clear blue or first response are really reliable) just to put your minds at rest.

until then you should try to relax and get your gf to take another form of birth control (pill, patch, injection, implant etc) ASAP and they can be started anytime during her cycle so there is nothing to stop her going as soon as she finds out the pregnancy results.

good luck and try not to let this 'scare you off sex' as long as you take precautions everything will work out

[shep88ner]

i went to link removed and it says it's only 89% effective, but the sooner you take it the better it works. she took it about 30 minutes after this 'oops'. so we took it about as fast as you possibly can without having it ready from the beginning.

 

but then i kept doing research about it and i found this site that said Plan B wasnt even 89% effective. it said that 89% is OPTIMISIC. i just dont know what to think. i cant get my mind off of it. she doesnt have her period for another 2-3 weeks. i dont know if i can wait that long to have her start and be relieved

[ImThatGirl]

shep88ner - - - Hun, you are going to be worried until she starts her period.

 

Find a way to relax and calm your anxieties. You cannot feel this way day in day out for 3 weeks.

 

As you know, there are other alternatives. If it did not work. Sounds like you two have your heads on straight. You'll be okay. Stop letting this consume you!

[shep88ner]

ok...so are there any like, little signs or hints or tips or anything that we could notice now? any little thing that may point one way or the other?

 

im sorry again but i cant calm myself down. im a little better today than i was yesterday but waiting 3 weeks to find out if my life is ruined or spared is just a little heavy on my mind right now...

 

i appreciate all of you that havnt gotten frustrated with me or gotten annoyed...im just scared is all

[sophie274]

Hey

 

As I previously said, pretty much any "pregnancy signs" you detect this week or next will likely be psychological, not real. For many women, the first sign of pregnancy is a missed period. Then there are sore breasts, frequent urination, problems with strong smells, and just "feeling different" - but again, because of this scare, she is likely to convince herself that she is peeing funny, to feel nauseous because she is scared etc ... I would not try to analyze the way she feels, just wait for the period to come.

 

Also, you keep saying your life is ruined. I have asked this before but you haven't answered - had you and your girlfriend previously discussed what you would do if there was a pregnancy?

 

From what you're saying, it sounds like you would choose to have the child (I'm just guessing). If that seems unfathomable to you, keep in mind there are many options available to you.

[shep88ner]

oh...sorry...yea, we kind of discussed what we would do if she is pregnant. but really, we dont know. that's so much to try to comprehend and the thought of it overwhelms us. but we have kind of talked about what we would do and all that.

 

if she is pregnant, we also talked about what we would do about it physically. we pretty much came to the quick mutual conclusion that she would have an abortion. so really, it's not a matter of whether or not we have a child at the end of this, its more about the people around us like our parents and how it will effect our relationship.

 

here's how i see it, if she is pregnant and actually has an abortion, her mom and aunt (her guardians) will never be the same towards me. they love me and im great with them, but her mom is really against abortions and we've gotten the sex talk from her several times. so the relationship with her parents will be over, my parents wouldnt look at her the same either. and all in all i dont think we could ever be like we are now relationship wise. after something this dramatic and damaging, i just dont think we could be the happy/laughing/loving couple that we are now...i'd love for us to be but i just think things would change because of it all...it'll hurt a lot of people besides just us, it'll hurt a whole lot of people. we were stupid and made a mistake, i just wish we could have a second chance...

[sophie274]

First about the parents: are you sure you would need parental consent in the state you are in for an abortion? (By the way I want to add that she is probably not pregnant, this is just to ease your mind so you know your life won't be ruined.) Some states have 16, others 18, it's probably worth looking up. I'm sure her parents might be disappointed, but in general parents far exceed one's expectations - I'm sure they will be supportive.

 

About your relationship: I can definitely understand. It's something that I have worried about in my relationship too (I am only about a year older than you, it seems, in college also, anyway ...). If you two remain mutually supportive, encourage communication, avoid blaming each other, I'm sure you could get over the hump.

 

And I want to add again - don't get too freaked out about it, it is unlikely that she is pregnant. Cover your bases and keep your fingers crossed.

[shep88ner]

yea, i checked the age of consent and in ohio it's 18. i was reading this thing just now that said without any medication or anything, only 8 in 100 even get pregnant when they had unprotected sex. normal contraception pills bring that chance down to 2 out of 100. and progestin-only contraception pills, such as Plan B brings that down to 1 out of 100.

 

chances are small but it still worries me that there is a chance at all

[shep88ner]

when is the earliest we can do an effective pregnancy test? someone in this post said to do it in 3 weeks from monday. so as of right now that's my plan...do you all agree this would be best? if not when do you feel is the earliest time?

[sophie274]

Some tests promise as early as 5 days before your next period, so about 10 days after intercourse basically ... but really they are only about 65% effective when you do them so soon. I would just wait it out. A negative after only 10 days could very likely be wrong. Wait until it is unlikely that the test will be wrong - a week after the missed period (if there is one), or about 3 weeks after intercourse.

[shep88ner]

i know there is a post in here about how i shouldnt be concerned about any pains or cramps she has. but i cant just be satisfied with just that so i figured id ask you people...

 

she said she's been having off and on stomach pains lately and one day it got a little more intense than the other days. (couple days ago).

 

is this something i should be concerned about or is this typical of Plan B? i just figured i'd ask on here since there are people who have taken Plan B before and have experienced all that, and then there are some of you that have had babies so you've been through that experience...this is the only place i can get personal testimony on stuff like this...

[Mythical_Suicide]

The on and off stomach pains she is feeling is more than likely nerves. I've never taken Plan B so it very well may be that causing it but it isn't pregnancy related, way too early. As everyone else has said calm down and wait the 3 weeks or so to test. That is the only way you can know for sure. I also don't want to be the bearer of more nerve wrecking news but even if she starts her period here soon i'd take a pregnancy test to be 100%.I had my period the first three months of my pregnancy. She really needs to get on some form of Birth Control ASAP after she takes a pregnancy test.

[shep88ner]

The on and off stomach pains she is feeling is more than likely nerves. I've never taken Plan B so it very well may be that causing it but it isn't pregnancy related, way too early. As everyone else has said calm down and wait the 3 weeks or so to test. That is the only way you can know for sure. I also don't want to be the bearer of more nerve wrecking news but even if she starts her period here soon i'd take a pregnancy test to be 100%.I had my period the first three months of my pregnancy. She really needs to get on some form of Birth Control ASAP after she takes a pregnancy test.

 

ok...so you're telling me that she can have a full period and still be pregnant??? i thought that once a girl started her period she wasnt pregnant. i was going to do a pregnancy test in about 2 and a half weeks if she hadnt had her period yet...but if she can have one and still be pregnant then dang, i need to do one anyway i guess

 

oh...and if she gets her period, does this mean there is a better chance of her not being pregnant or does that not matter? like...if she has one they does that mean she most likely isnt? it's probably a stupid question but im trying to learn all i can all at once here...