What Should I do??

[gemma84]

I'm staying with my boyfriend of over a year for the holidays, and I just found a CD near the television of porn pictures, there are pictures of girls as young as 16 or 17. I am 22 and he is 32, I'm a little sickened by these pictures and I don't know if I should confront him about them? What Should I do??

[emma34]

From my experience I think every guy has a porn phase and then grows out of it.

It depends how u feel about it...theres no way who can say that porn is ok or that porn is wrong - it's up to you. If you are so you say 'sickened' by it, don't feel bad about confronting him. Likely this won't make him stop, he'll just hide it better or something. either way, u should express how u feel.

[isidore]

How exactly do you know these are underage girls? Are you upset b/c you think they're underage or b/c he watches porn? Many men do watch porn, you know. Just a fact.

[kadvati79]

I'm staying with my boyfriend of over a year for the holidays, and I just found a CD near the television of porn pictures, there are pictures of girls as young as 16 or 17. I am 22 and he is 32, I'm a little sickened by these pictures and I don't know if I should confront him about them? What Should I do??

 

As has been discussed on other threads, pornography is very, very common. Also, you may not know for sure if it even his.

[gemma84]

How exactly do you know these are underage girls? Are you upset b/c you think they're underage or b/c he watches porn? Many men do watch porn, you know. Just a fact.

 

I know many guys watch porn, I guess it was just a shock he does, especially when he says he doesn't. As for the underage thing, I don't know for sure.. they might not be, they just look young to me.

[HellFrost666]

About 99% of the male race indulges themselves in porn. That is something you will probably never change about him. But if you know for a fact the girls in the pics are under age you have every right to be diturbed.

[isidore]

Maybe he claimed not to watch it b/c he thought you might be very upset by it, which you seem to be. But just try and take a step back and realize that it's not the end of the world and it has nothing to do with you and him as a couple. I had a previous girlfriend who found out that I watch it tell me she thought that it meant I didn't find her attractive and that she should be my only fantasy. And that's just silly. People fantasize, men are visually stimulated. He was doing this well before you even met. It doesn't mean he doesn't fantasize about you all the time too (that is if you might be thinking that he doesn't). Not to go on a porn diatribe but it's as old as history. Look at some of the wall paintings and mosaics in Pompeii for instance. OK I'm done, thanks for not laughing too hard. Tip your waitress, G'night.

[gemma84]

About 99% of the male race indulges themselves in porn. That is something you will probably never change about him. But if you know for a fact the girls in the pics are under age you have every right to be diturbed.

 

I don't think they are underage, I think I was just a little shocked by them. Thanks everyone I'll talk to him later, I just wanted someone elses perspective.

[kadvati79]

I know many guys watch porn, I guess it was just a shock he does, especially when he says he doesn't. As for the underage thing, I don't know for sure.. they might not be, they just look young to me.

 

Do you know for sure it is?

 

Also, it might just be something he hardly ever does. For example, when people ask me "do you drink coffee?" I say no, because I don't really. But even now and then, for whatever reason, I do have a coffee.

[caro33]

We've been having this debate elsewhere, see the Conflicts section I think for the most recent one. I had my own little outrage about the topic a couple of days ago.

 

Your feelings are understandable. That's not to say that him owning that CD is necessarily wrong, but it certainly brings up a range of issues doesn't it?

 

Have the chat, you may well find it becomes a non-issue. Try and remain open to the fact that this isn't about you, and that he's acting in a way that he sees as perfectly justifiable. I think secrecy can be the bigger problem here, but that depends how he's portrayed himself to you.

 

Feel free to PM if that helps at all.

[GottaLetItBurn]

I know many guys watch porn, I guess it was just a shock he does, especially when he says he doesn't. As for the underage thing, I don't know for sure.. they might not be, they just look young to me.

 

Why would he admit that if he doesn't have to. Telling the truth about that isn't a big deal. I mean, if he tells you it upsets you. If he doesn't, it's not like he was cheating, more like protecting your feelings.

 

Tell him you found it and complain if you feel. Just know that the porn industry isn't a billion dollar industry because only a select few men watch it. It's wide spread and common.