Dont know what to do

[dl217]

Hey

 

I've been dating this girl for about a week or two now, and for the most part, i like her. The problem however is, she's a very negative person, and also boarderline depressed from what i can tell. She's very untrusting, and almost on a daily basis, someone does something piss's her off (or something like that, i dont know because she wont tell me), she gets all quiet on the phone, and when i ask her whats wrong she say's "I dont want to talk about it", then she'll pop onto msn later on, and she'll change her name to off everyone" or "2007 sucks so far"... I mean, we have a lot in comon for the most part, but i dont think i like this whole "negativity" thing she's got going on.

 

What i want to know is, is it worth it to get involved with someone like this? I mean, is only bad stuff gonna come out of dating such a negative and boarderline depressed person? Any advice or opinions welcome, i just dont know if i should continue to see this girl, or break it off before it gets too far.

 

Thanks

[finewhine]

Short answer: probably not.

[annie24]

I certainly wouldn't get involved with her. who wants someone with a chip on their shoulder?

[cpc28655]

She wouldn't happen to be about 5'1", about 120 lbs., with long brown hair??? lol, I'm kidding, but that does sound like my ex-wife.

 

All jokes aside, in the book Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, The author discusses how men and women react to problems and stress. Women handle problems by talking about them. As men, we tend to react to this as a request for us to solve the problems, which just frustrates them, because all they want us to do is listen. The book refers to this as being "Mr. Fix-it." An example given in the book, when Susan says "My job really sucks, I hate it.", Mike responds with, "Well, why don't you quit that job?" Have you ever done anything like that? It may make her less likely to want to discuss her problems with you. If not, then I agree with "Short answer: probably not"

[dl217]

Well she actually does tell me she hates her job and what i told her more or less is something along the lines of "If it gets too much for you then maybe you should find something less stressfull" but i dont know, the first day me and her started to date, she told me "I feel like i can tell you anything" and she was referring to literally, anything. Because she has told me a lot of really personal things before we started dating, so now that she say's she feels like she can tell me anything, but wont is kinda bothering me. Not because i wanna try and fix the situation, but i want to at least listen, and she knows i like to listen, but since she wont tell me, im taking it personally because its making me think its something that i did.

 

I guess the problem now is, if im gonna break it off with her, im gonna feel kinda bad doing it at a time that she's having problems with someone, and not in a good mood. I just dont wanna pile something else on top of it, but every time i think about it, i realize, when the heck isnt something pissing her off?

 

I dunno, i really do like this girl for the most part but in a way, because of how she is, i dont think i see it working out for too long before she brings me down with her.. I guess i want a girl who isnt always depressed like her.

 

If im gonna break it off however, should i tell her the truth why? I mean, should i tell her its because i think she's too negative for me? I just dont wanna come off like a jerk.

[cpc28655]

It is very unlikely that it is anything you did. From what you described, she does seem like a very negative person. This will only lead to you feeling negative yourself. Being that this is a negative person, she is gonna think you are a jerk no matter what you say. But if you don't tell her the truth, she will think you are a lying jerk. I had to end my marriage because I was working while she sat at home, bleeding me dry. She was more like a "mouth to feed" then a spouse. If you ask her, she will tell you that I ended the marriage because I am a jerk. The point is, do what you gotta do.

[real2]

Have you had sex with her yet?

[Ikatu]

It is very unlikely that it is anything you did. From what you described, she does seem like a very negative person. This will only lead to you feeling negative yourself. Being that this is a negative person, she is gonna think you are a jerk no matter what you say. But if you don't tell her the truth, she will think you are a lying jerk. I had to end my marriage because I was working while she sat at home, bleeding me dry. She was more like a "mouth to feed" then a spouse. If you ask her, she will tell you that I ended the marriage because I am a jerk. The point is, do what you gotta do.

 

Yea thats a good point. I'd like to do it in a way that we can remain friends but i dont know how she'll take it, but if i decide im gonna end it, which i probably will since everybody thinks its the best option, ill make sure i tell her the truth. Thanks dude.

 

 

Have you had sex with her yet?

 

No i havent had sex with her yet, but she wants to. She's expressed it a few times, but im not the type of guy to have sex with someone so soon for reasons like this. I need to know if i want to continue on, and after only a week or so, i never usually know if i want it to keep going and get more serious.

[annie24]

I don't know, she sounds too negative, too early. imagine what she will say when she REALLY lets loose around you! YIKES! I mean, would you complain like this on a date if you are trying to impress someone? Someone needs to tell her that "dating is not therapy!"