Dating and sex..

[smiles21]

Allright, I've dated two people since I have been 17, one was for 1.5 years, the other was 4 years, which ended about 3 months ago. Now, I have dated girls, and for some reason I have this issue. If a girl is really into me, and wants to sleep with me in a short period of time, I am not into her anymore.. and I become not interested in sleeping with her. And I love sex, and dont get me wrong I'm freaky as hell, but i feel the need to be comfortable with someone before we have sex, I cant just hook up with girls randomly. Why the hell is this. It turns me off for some reason.

 

I feel sex as not only a physical experience, but emotional as well. Is this a normal thing?

[zerohalo]

Hell man, I could've written this. I feel precisely the same way. I don't think your feelings are out of line even in the least.

[applepie]

Some people take longer to open up than others. Despite what some may say, I don't think sleeping with someone soon after meeting them necessarily makes you easy. I think some people just have different abilities in timing to get to know someone. I often meet someone and within a day, they say they feel like they've known me for years. The feeling is often mutual. This doesn't mean that I would just sleep with anyone who tries to get to know me, but there are just certain people I click with in this way. Consequently, I tend to have sex sooner than most people would.

 

I don't think what you described is abnormal in any way. There are any number of reasons why you feel it takes time. There are plenty of people who are the same. Just don't let anyone force you to do anything.

[CharLit]

Yes, you're perfectly normal! People have hugely differing views on sex and sexuality, ranging from 'sex is a purely physical thing, the more the better and who cares who with' to those who wish to remain virgins until marriage, or never want to have sex at all. Your view is one of the more common ones, I'm sure you'll find plenty of girls with the same attitude. Don't worry about it!

[Relationship Coach]

Maybe you also like to be the initiator and somewhat enjoy the pursuit, just a thought.

 

RC

[candy604]

i'm glad to hear ur not in a relationship just for the sex. Props to you. I don't think you should feel it's wrong, it's normal!!

[offshore00]

you guys are weirdos if you ask me...

[zerohalo]

you guys are weirdos if you ask me...

Thanks!

[Day_Walker]

You have already stated why you believe this is true. In my mind you just seem to be looking for something profound instead of something casual. You have this idea that if you sleep with a person early on then it will not develop into a relationship. This does not have to be true it just depends on what the other person wants. In my mind if you find a girl that has sex with you early on and actually wants a relationship then I dont see why you would have a problem. That is fine if you do not want anything casual but if this is your problem then I would suggest finding out the girls motives so that way you can see the ones that just want to mess around from the ones that actually want a relationship.