Why do I feel guilty??

[Benson]

Why is it that I feel guilty about my ex breaking up with me, even though clearly I didnt do anything directly to her that would make her leave??

 

I want to get mad at her but I just cant seem to do it.... Even though I know she had self esteem issues and various communication issues.... it feels like im responsible for everything thats happened...

 

After a few months of trying to make it work for us both and explaining to her what I needed, and what we had to do to make it work, as always she never did anything for US, and yet I Still feel bad about what happened...

 

I tried so hard to make it work, maybe she took it the wrong way, as in I was putting pressure on her or something and she couldnt take it, but is that my fault??...

 

 

Im not even physically attracted to my ex anymore and I dont even want her back, I couldnt imagine even touching her again after leaving me without an explanation, yet I still feel bad about what happened.. Is there something wrong with me?

[JoeWho]

There is nothing wrong with you at all. Its pretty normal to blame yourself for a breakup even if it wasnt your fault. My ex cheated on me and for a little while I actually thought that it was my fault that she cheated. How crazy is that thinking? That type of thinking only lasted for a couple weeks though and then I could clearly place all the blame where it belonged. In relationships we all make mistakes and when the relationship ends we tend to come down really hard on ourselves for our own mistakes. Best thing for you to do is to forgive yourself for anything you feel you did wrong and then learn from it and then move on when you are ready.

[Benson]

thanks joe.

 

I needed that. My biggest mistake was letting myself get into this long of a relationship with someone that I knew couldnt commit emotionally.. Its weird isnt it? I mean, when you know why a breakup happened and you know you really didnt have much to do with it, yet you still feel so hurt inside it makes you want to throw up....

 

The absolute best thing I can do for myself is move on and find someone with some emotional stability, however it seems so dark and extremely hard right now to do so. I guess I have to wait until im ready, which, I hope will be sooner than later.