guilty for cheating on my spouse

[guiltycheater]

As I said I ended up telling my husband all and broke his heart.

Since then he has made me call the guy up to see if the guy would meet with me although i wasnt going to meet him. Then he made me call him the next night to see if the guy still had feelings for me, which I never got the answer anyways. Then last night which was the most horrible of all, my husband called the guy up to tell him he knows abut the fling we had. The guy was scared and I was scard for him. My husband told him he was not going to tell his wife for the sake of the kids. The first two times i talked to him, it felt good to talk to him only because we were friends before any of this happened. Then last night i felt very sorry for him. I don't think of this guy at all other than now that I am reliving the nightmare, I don't have any urges to see him I didnt get any pangs in my heart when I talked to him nor the desire to see him. My daughter thinks i am infatuated with him. I dont think so cause if i was i still think i would have continued to talk and see him.

how do you know if your infatuated by someone and if you are how do you get rid of the infatuation

[Crazyaboutdogs]

You were married before and cheated on your husband. Your current husband is the guy you had the affair with. Now you cheated on this person (he should have expected that outcome since he was the "other man") and keep obsessing about how you had cheated. Your current husband was willing to forgive you (probably because of the circumstances on how he became your husband...by seeing you while you were still married) but you kept pushing it and pushing it until it escalated into this over the top situation. I think your daughter is very perceptive. But I am not so sure you are infatuated with this guy per se. It sounds to me like you are addicted to the thrill of having an affair. You need to ask yourself why you are a serial cheater. It is not the guilt that is getting to you, it is some inherent unhappiness within yourself that wants to create drama. In your previous marriage, the drama was the affair and subsequent breakdown of your marriage. In this case, there was no drama because your husband forgave you...so you had to create drama by continually reminding him of this affair.

You need some counselling to figure this out.

[guiltycheater]

Hey,

 

Im still messed up as you know I confessed everything to my husband. I broke his heart and I feel so bad.

I have an ache in my heart now, and I cant figure out if it still guilt I am feeling or is it a broken heart for breaking my hubbys heart.

Can you have a broken heart for breaking someones heart, let me know cause i dont know what this awful feeling I have is.

Or is it that i still feel guilty for what i did and cant forgive myself. Please help. Going slowly but surely crazy

[Hope75]

GC,

 

At this point I honestly don't think you are going to be able to get past this without some sort of professional therapy.

 

You have recounted details several times to your husband and you keep rubbing the salt in his wounds trying to assuage your guilt, and yet it's not working. Instead it is doing the opposite- tearing your marriage apart.

 

What is it that you are looking for from your husband that keeps you telling him more and more details? He has already said he forgives you, but you continue to harp on him about it. What do you want from him that will take this away? Do you honestly think you will get it from him?

 

Think about this- because I honestly think that you have to forgive YOURSELF to get over this- and you don't seem to be able to do that on your own- so maybe it's time to seek some professional help to help you work through it.

[markr154]

Sorry girl ...but you need professional help!

 

Your actions and thoughts are those of a drama queen, liar and serial cheater.

 

1. You cheated on your 1st husband with your current partner, and now you've cheated on him!

 

2. You confessed you had the affair ...but you prolonged the torture for him, (and the guilt for you) by not disclosing the WHOLE story. Really, why did you bother to even tell him at all? Do you enjoy torturing this man by adding further 'images' for him to deal with? What are you going to tell him next ...that your lover was with a party of 5? You should have told him EVERYTHING from the start!

 

3. Do you wonder why your current partner was so forgiving in the beginning? I'll tell you why ...it's because he himself is probably suffering from guilt over the 'dubious' circumstances of how HE and YOU got together!

 

I bet your 1st husband wasn't as forgiving, and rightly so.

 

Get yourself some help ASAP ...before you go and do it all over again!

[MinziGirl]

I think you should go into therapy. Your husband has forgiven you & bringing up old wounds means opening old wounds again. Everyone has a limit to his/her tolerance. Your husband is also but human too.

 

If you are plagaed by anxieties, you should really seek professional help.