People do not understand...

[Trolloc63]

Honestly, most people do not understand our plight. Many of you do however, seeing as how your posting on this forum, so let me try to explain mine.

 

I have already posted here about my non friends and single forever posts. But I must add that people do not understand. Your family and friends give you advice to just be happy and things will happen. Well this is not the case for me, as things will never happen. I posted earlier in another thread about feeling stuck in a cycle that I will never get out of. Now last time I posted, I was very depressed. And when I get depressed I get very negative, you know, the 'I hate my life' type of depression.

 

But now, speaking from a calm point of view at the moment, I can truly say that because I'm stuck in this cycle, I will never meet the right one. The cycle goes something like this: meet new gal, interested in her, talk to her if possible, be nice, that sort of thing. And then, for different reasons, it all fails (eg. sabotaging myself on purpose, they are not single, they flirt with you then ignore you later). And then the failure + depression _ + failure of not saying anything cause i'm too shy = I hate my life and dont want to do this again.

 

unfortunately I sort of old school, especially when it comes to friends and helping people. I believe that if people are good, and they treat you right, then I care more about them and thier problems than some stranger. I would tend to want to be thier friend are care about thier problems more. unfortunately, this is'nt the case today as I learned with my current nonfriend co-workers.

 

I guess what i'm trying to say is that people today say they care and they really dont. They care about thier problems, and the heck with you. I'm discussing more of my feelings on this forum than anyone else, cause I have no one to talk to.

 

So it T's me off when people say its no big deal. But I know what kind of a deal it is, cause I know i'll be single forever, and 20 years from now lets see what they have to say when i'm still single. Single forever sounds like a death sentence to me.

 

 

[Dako]

Consider this.

Many shy people overcome it, and many of those who offer advice have been in your shoes. Conversely, it's very rare to become shy.

 

thereforeeee, If you think only shy people understand, you're mistaken.

[atraceofblood]

how old are you?

 

I'm 23, and haven't had a girlfriend yet. I haven't even went out on a date on my own. I've barely even gotten numbers and barely got to hang out at school with them. But I still believe there are many girls out there and there has to be at least one that I can be compatible with. I just have to keep my head up. And I believe you do too.

[Day_Walker]

The only way you are going to conquer being shy is by your own hand. If you do not make the effort then no matter how depressing your story is, in my mind you failed to make the change that you wanted. You do not have to end up being single for the rest of your life, that is your choice.

[crazy300]

Im sorry you're feeling this way. Maybe at this point, you're just surrounded by those kind of people that have made you feel like that. First off, your coworkers...If the arent being good friends, then the're not worth it!

 

Let me tell you something.....most people think Im shy. Infact everybody says im shy. I act like a 10 year old girl with pink ribbons..

BUT When it boils down to it, I dont care what other people think at all. If they dont like me, its THEIR loss. I was very shy before, but now if i really want to do or say something, I do it. ANd it doesnt scare me one bit.

 

So i Overcame shyness i guess. It didnt happen overnight. Its all about self esteem really. You HAVE got to start believing in yourself. Who cares what other people think anyway?? as long as you're not being evil or harming anyone...you're completely entitled to be here on Earth as---- YOURSELF.

Stop thinking about what other people think. "Do not be a football to other people's opinions".

 

Your life is in your hands, dont tell yourself(or us) that you're doomed to be single. If you know whats wrong, then DO SOMETHING. Dont sit there and watch your life go that way. This problem has a solution. Be Assertive! What are you scared of more? Being rejected by some female because she didnt like your face OR being single for the rest of your life because you were too shy, thereby missing out on all the girls that actually liked you?

 

And generally People do care, maybe you dont see it, maybe they havent shown it properly. Or maybe you havent met the right set of friends yet.....YET.

[Trolloc63]

Interesting posts thus far. I'm 28 by the way. I know its not all that old, but it can go on this way for a long time.

 

I know I need to change things myself or its my own fault. But i'm not at that point yet. I have gotten better, I am more comfortable with talking to women, but just can't take that next step yet. Who knows, maybe someday, or maybe not.